h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh weeelll...*Kat looks vague*...the oportunity to persue research into interspecies grafting and investigate high-stress environment military psychology is the official line.

*nodds and grins* And then there's always the computer games right?

Although there's always the like thought that we get enough action round here to be better than computer games. But at least in games if my friends die then I can restart the level.

*She toys with a tomato*

Anyhow, do we actually know any friendly species? Seems to me that every time that flipping Gate opens our troops come back with holes in them!

*Looks sympathetic and sighs.* I think I have to try and get some of them to be friendly.
*frowns* Although with the Goa'uld that seems unlikely, well.. apart from the Tok'ra and some of the Jaffa when they feel like it.*she shifts more papaer and shakes her head.* And our governments think they've got problems.

We're bound to stumble upon a nice friendly race sometime. Unless you want to be diplomat to the animals *she grins* we come across a lot of interesting animals off-world. Sometimes, if I'm lucky, one gets brought back for me to have a look at!

Yeah, well at least animals are slightly more logical.

<wonders vauegly)~~animals are brought back? Are they live? Live animals on this base?~~~
*Smiles*
Yeah, that does sound interesting.

*enters room* Hi captain Kat i was just wondering if i was free to go to the barracks now, or do i need more medical tests?

We don't tend to keep the animals for very long. Usually if one is hurt it gets brought back here, I make it better, everyone plays with it a bit and then we send it back through the Gate. It's probably not kosher but there we go.

*Kat turns to the Jaffa standing just inside the door*

There's no need to yell at me from the other side of the mess you know! Why don't you go and dump your stuff in your room and get settled and I'll run you through your med exam when I've finished talking to the lieutenant here and have done a few bits and pieces.

*Finishes her tea and excuses herself to get another one, returns with the tea and a slice of chocolate cake.*

Have any ever got loose?

I shall see you in the medical bay then i presume, sorry to disturb. *leaves to put minimal possesions in room and get organised before heading to wait in the medical bay*

Oooh escapes...wellonly generally in the confines of the med bay. I try to keep it quite hush hush because you can imagine what an uproar there would be...alien animals being a *does quotation marks with fingers* health and safety hazard.

You leave any pets home in England? I left my dog with my parents because what with being on-call always I really wouldn't have been able to have him here. Now that I'm in this thing *she pokes her wheelchair* I'm definitely glad I left him back in England!

Well when I lived in England I had two cats- Merlin and Willow. When I left a friend who lived with me took them they already practically lived there, so the move didn't bother them much.
After that I came here, and I haven't really had time for a pet.

*Marge, the tea lady with the highest security clearance, as well as possibly the biggest mole on the planet. Starts to clear some of the used plates and cutlery. As she does this she starts to sing rocket man. This despite knowing only small parts of the chorus and a few single words interspersed throughout the verses. But to make up for this all the verses are made shorter and loud humming takes the place of any unknown words.

She winks at Peaceandgoodwill as she picks up one of the the colonels half eaten sandwiches. It's the wink the drunken aunties give teenage boys at parties.*

*Nods at Marge, with an expression half way between amusment and fear.(Leaning towards amusement.) and picks up her tea and cake to avoid it's departure*

*Whispers to Kat.*

She reminds me of an uncle we used to throw out of birthday partys.

*Hastily grabs some papers, as Marge begins to tidy the rest of the table.*

*whispers back*

She came into my medical bay once....never again...she said it was too clean and I wasn't letting any of the good things in.

*raises voice again*

Anyway, you were going to demo some of this karate for me? We have a recreation room, which I'm not certain you'll have seen yet. Pool table, exercise equipment, mats, dart board, most importantly...space! Oh and a few blood stains but I don't report those *she grins*

*grins*

*(voice back at normal level)*

Sure, Now or later?

Oh heck! *She frowns* I've got that Jaffa waiting for me to give him a med ex...and who knows what he might be touching if he's in the med bay! Tell you what, why don't you go and get a bit more settled in, chuck your stuff in drawers and so on, see if you can catch our illustrious leader around anywhere and introduce yourself. She's always happy to see new officers.

Oh yes, sorry I didn't mean to keep you from your dutys. It would probably be a good idea if I found where I'm going to sleep tonight too.

*Takes a last sip of her tea.*

See you.

*Puts cup and plate on a pile to be washed and leaves the mess hall.*