h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"oh my god, he blew up the 59th street bridge!"
"...mmmaybe it fell down on its own?"

Well, we can't take that chance...

Wey Hey !

Geez, Happy! You were SUPPOSED to say "You always say that. I want to take a chance!"






Oh, and Krymla, as for Brainchild and Pineapple Pokopo (both from the Tick)...


Brainchild aka Charles: Evil genius 9-11 year-old. Had clear-plastic bubble on head, so his brain could be observed. Compulsively thought up and wrote down evil thoughts.

Evil Quote:"Evil! Evil! I'm beside myself with evil!"



Pineapple Pokopo: Fascist dictator of tiny South Seas isle of Pokoponesia. Had pineapple-for-a-head.

Evil Quote: "Here in Pokoponesia, we got two things: We got pineapples, and we got sharks.



And while you should feel free to invite the Human Ton and Handy, be warned that the "Evil Puppet Rivalry" between Handy and Zeb may get out of han-...uhh, control.

OK, 'You always say that. I want to take a chance!'

Oh, I remember them now. If I remember correctly, Brainchild tried to make the moon crash into The City, and wasn't the other guy the one who kidnapped that superintelligent monkey? Yes, I'll be sure to invite them.

I'll also get Boris, Natasha, and Fearless. Along with their other goons, the Fearsome Five Minus Two. Not the best supervillains in the world, but they're always a good inspiration to us all.

Sorry, I haven't posted in a while. I was taking the 8 week Evil Refresher course and "Evil Gadgets and Gizmos You Can Use to Take Over the World. I had to teach the second one. I'm back now. What did I miss?

Just the End of life as we Know it

I've captured Uncle Heavy and Giguschild (along with Kudos) and locked them away inside an asteroid, thanks to a little help from The Grand Intellect. But in the meantime, we've been holding discussions about which supervillains to invite should we ever have the chance to celebrate a victory, and an almost intelligible discussion on Dr. Seuss and how much the media is stealing Chrstmas.

Zeb: Yeah, I read your introduction to that forum where you have UH, Gigus, and Kudos trapped. By the way, do they only have 45 posts total to escape, or 45 posts each?

Emar: Wait a minute, how'd you find this asteroid?

Zeb: Did some scrying with the Necronomicon.

Emar: I TOLD you to stop using that thing!

[The forum door bangs open and a stunning woman enters. Her shining black hair hangs to her waist, obscuring the view of her creamy ivory skin under her backless dress. The men in the forum stare at the dress's plunging neckline and the woman smiles seductively. Her dark blue eyes twinkle as she opens her ruby-colored lips to speak.]

you boys wouldn't happen to be looking for any new villainesses, would you?

[The woman casts an eye over everyone in the forum, and gives a sultry wink to Emar. She swaggers up to the Krylma Leader and smiles.]

Are you the leader of this... operation, or am I...

[The woman pauses, licks her lips, and looks slightly pouty as she continues.]

Mistaken?

Emar(interrupting the silence): Uh, ma'am, you DO realize that Krymla (who IS in charge, by the way) is a large, anthropomorphic lizard-thing, right? He USED to be human, so MAYBE he likes human women... I dunno, you'll have to ask him about his tastes. Anyway, if you're looking to sign on with us fine. I forget exactly what our current initiation procedure is, but it involves rolling around a huge, concave arena in a steel ball... and... blowing up, or... something...

well, I like human women...

*NYC gets evil looks from the previously accepted female members of STUMPED*

what?!

*evillene laughs. sea rolls her eyes*

[sea] it's just like NYC to fall for any pretty face that waltzes through the door....

[evillene] shaddup, you're jealous.

[sea] am not!!!!!

Emar: Speaking of which, sea and Eviline... How's the current incarnation of your researcher nickname supposed to read? Specifically, the "sXe" part; Is it "s 'and/times/with' e", or is it like a rebus that reads "s-'X'-'e'('sexy')"?

[sea] nonono... it means straight edge. as in no drinking, no drugs... (also the reason why deth never hands me a drink) although i'll go along with "sexy" as well!

[The woman crosses over to Emar]

My mistake. But you're human...

[She lifts a finger to touch his shoulder]

Right?

[She abruptly turns to NYC Student]

As are you.

[Her eyes drift along NYC Student's face and body. A smile curves her ruby red lips. She turns aroung to find Sea rolling her eyes]

Feeling threatened, are we? That's all right. I'm quite threatening to those who aren't as beautiful as i am.

[The woman's eyes glitter evilly and she smiles triumphantly at sea]

[sea] *insensed* threatened? not on your life. i'm just wondering why no man can see that you're cheap trash in a nice dress with a little too much makeup. sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

[evillene] whoa. even *i* didn't see that one coming... looks like you've made yourself a nemesis, femme. i'd be careful.

[The woman looks amused and recites in a musical voice]

Sticks and stones will break my bones...

[She then addresses the thin air that spoke to her]

It's Evillene, right? How did you get mixed up with the jealous-sea? Haha. A silly pun. And as for having a nemesis...

[The woman turns to sea with an icy cold glare]

It's too bad I couldn't find a WORTHY one.

*evillene looks at sea, then at femme, then back again*

[evillene] whoa... even *i* don't want to get into the middle of THIS catfight...

*sea glares back at femme, just as coldly*

[sea] i'm not worthy of being the nemesis of a cheap trick who can't even make a FUNNY joke of my name? i think not. besides, i've got better people to be nemesis to. ones that actually deserve my time.

*sea flips her hair and grins at femme*

[sea] you're just a jessica rabbit knock-off with no taste.