h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So shall I!

* MaW vanishes *

This is a Bikini competition, not a Shoe competition.

<BB<

*sashays in wearing her tiger print string bikini, displaying her amazing figure to perfection.

Titian locks are curling over one shoulder, the diamonds on her glass stiletto shoes catching the light with each step*

I would like to enter the competition please Bluebottle

Shoes are an important past of a bikini!

*Mina's kinky boots are 4" patent leather lace up ankle books with chains running around the ankles and legs up to the thighs*

Of course the shoes are important silly. A great pair of legs always looks just that much better in heels..

...But shoes obscure people's legs from sight.

<BB<

Humm, I just don't know. I've been told mine look rather good in a pair of spike heels. But then again perhaps the gentleman in question was merely being sweet. Or perhaps had ulterior motives...

An ulterior motives involving keeping shoes on.... Hmmm....
I personally think feet look nicer than shoes, providing they're clean.

<BB<

I don't wear shoes on my legs.

No, but the shoes you have are:
"kinky boots, 4" patent leather lace up ankle boots with chains running around the ankles and legs up to the thighs".
So the shoes/boots you have are worn on your legs.

<BB<

But that's not what you said.
And you can still see my legs. Unless you're a bit short sighted?

*puts leg right under BB's nose*

You can see part of your leg, just not all of it.

<BB<

Oh for the sake of a quiet life!

*starts unravelling the chains*

I never said I didn't like them
You can keep 'em, don't worry.

<BB<

No, it's ok. You can have them.

*chains BB to a rock*

Good job this is only a small rock, and one I can *just about* pick up and carry, otherwise I'd be stuck here for good.

<BB<

I'd probably let you go.

Eventually.

But if I'm stuck on a rock, how could I finish the competition?

<BB<

You know Mina, we could unchain him and force him to give us both a nice foot rub

It's not like you have to go anywhere to judge bikinis - looks to me like you've got a pretty good view from down there...