h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sorry, got to go to work later today (Tuesday), now being 1 am CET - means I'm going to bed now...

*leaving [T] on the table, and then drifting off, in her usual v.e.l.manner*

Lil, I'v E tolD you all I know

Yoo hoo!

Lil must be working on Billy.

*rummages in fridge for the plate of stew she put aside yesterday*

There it is!

*warms the plate in the microwave, takes it out to the veranda to consume*

That was wonderful. No, Minoova, I'll clean it up.

*finishes kitchen duty, proceeds to sit by the fire and give Springie a cuddle*

*Looney, who would rather be Peter Sellers than Spike Milligan, wanders out of the guest room. Adds red wine to the cold stew in the cast iron stew pot. Puts the pot on the stove to reheat. 2nd day stew is always best. Yum.*

Tell me Sporky. I have a spare 20 seconds.

*sniffs*

Is that stew I smell? May I have some?

Lil, are you working on the Billy picture that you have posted? I thought it was miraculous already - what more can you do with it?

G7

Use the edge of the paper to commit suicide, I think. I just opened the file and discovered that it's been ruined with big square patches of discoloration, streaks of blue and red. posterisation. There may be a video adapter problem. We are talking serious anger here. That is about 9 hrs worth of work.

The 300 dpi version is safe and sound, and the template is also safe, but something very weird is happening with the bloody palette. I really have to do this at 600 dpi if I want to prove my point. But I may wind up just displaying portions of the file at the extra high res.

Goddamn. I think I will drink. And avoid the hacking issue for the oment, lest I rip someone a new one. Not you, Sporky. I have already dope-slapped two teenage female friends of Mike's tonight for not taking more enlightened action than to "run around in circles screaming".

*Goes to fridge and slides out crisper drawer to reveal a combination safe. opens safe and extracts one of Odra's special beers*

*Odra appears at the salon with a large, soft-sided ice chest*
And on that note...

l come bearing custard, everyone. Floating island, to be precise. lt's a custard about the consistency of a nice zabaglione, topped with poached merangue, and chilled nicely.
Any takers?

Nods sagely while wondering if Lil would be better off using Photoshop software for her art work

*shrugs, hands cooler to Minoova, who kindly puts them in the fridge for her. Settles herself on the hearth with a book, and Digi makes himself comfortable nearby*

It is called bitch-slapping. Dope slapping may be more correct, but it is the dumb blonde generalisation.

*lazily from the hearthrug*
What's the difference between a bitch-slap and a pimp-slap? l've always referred to them as the latter...

Let's call it handbagging then.

Looney, Photoshop doesn't offer the kind of natural media control I need for the job. Painter is unexcelled for its brushes.

So. We found out where the foog lives. I should say, I found the foog *she boasted*

But I am leaving his defenstration to more technically-gifted crim--people.

I have sent a long list of British translations of American gay terms to foog by ICQ.

*glances over at Looney*

Remind me not to annoy you.

According to my local eleven o'clock news, l live in the American city with the second-highest murder rate in the nation.
Drinks all 'round, l say...

LOL Well done, Looney! I've been in training all day, so I haven't gotten a chance to send him anything, but rest assured he shall hear from me soon!

Lil, I am so sorry to hear about Billy! Just to make you laugh - because I sense that you may need to - there is a store in Rawlins, WY that seems almost custom-made for these kinds of situations. Its called Guns 'n' Computers. In the morning, the proprietor will repair and sell computers. The afternoons are dedicated to guns.

Minoova, could I please have some of that lovely custard? It sounds divine, Odra!

G7

lf you prefer it the French way, Gw7en, just ask Minoova for oeufs a la neige, in which case the merangue will be browned in the oven and a carmelized sugar dribbled over the top.

A New Zealand soldier was killed today in East Timor. Could you American people ask Bill Clinton to nuke West Timor on my behalf?

Tell you what, Looney: we'll do you one better. We'll get him to bounce a couple of spare warheads off of George W. Bush's Magical Mystery Missile Mantle (that can protect us from everything from rogue missiles to asteroids to bunions) and blow up East Timor, West Timor, and that pesky Middle East...

Take out Thailand too... never liked those Thais and their spicey food