h2g2 - A Conversation for LIL'S ATELIER

99Xth Conversation at Lil's

Post 1

Asteroid Lil - Offstage Presence Started conversation May 13, 2009

A formal and official top-of-the-thread welcome to new salonista gandalfstwin, whisky aficionado! Welcome also to Pedros_ecosse and to stunningfrenchie, newcomers late in the thread, both of whom are apparently quite at home with our burgeoning backlog.

And we had prodigals galore. Everyone was thrilled to welcome back Vip, Peregrin and Ottox. Peregrin has been AWOL for years, or at least it seems so. Loftyskywalker has been coaxed out of the foyer.

In the area of health, our chiefest fears have been for Sporkulious Eglon, aka Sporky, who is enduring a rather protracted recovery from cancer surgery. MR and Lil have both run the MRI gauntlet. Runescribe and minichessemouse also have crosses to bear in the health department, lately.

A paragraph of thanks to our scribes, including last minute volunteers Wandering Albatross and Irv. They supplemented work by tod and Amy of the Mufflewhumps. Sadly, we seem to have lost erstwhile scribe lostmonalisa, who may have been abducted by the web invigilators at her place of work. To those of you who survived and contributed to this massive introduction, I thank you all on behalf of the atelier, and here are some s as well. *Chloe hands each scribe a bottle of their favorite wine, half a round of cheddar, a box of crackers to go with the cheese, a scribe tee shirt with 98X inscribed on the pocket, a moleskine notebook and a silver rollerball pen*

Biggest news announcement in the thread was that of Z and Ben deciding to be married. Congratulations from all of us!

Without further ado, here are the notes beginning with Tod's contribution.

The 1st LED roll of honour:

Titania &
Wandering Albatross
Strangley Strange
Beatrice
Kelli
Ben
FG
Rosemary
Hypatia
Witty Moniker
Amy Pawloski
Phil
Marv
Irving Washington
David B
MR

There after came:

Gw7en
Bald Bloke
Lostmonalisa
Teuchter
Minicheessemouse
The Thinker
SpaceCadette
Egon
Mr Dreadfull
Santragenius V
Todaymueller
Mol
Tartaronne
GDZ
D'Elaphant
Solnushka and Zvezda
Mags
Runescribe
Mysterious Stranger
Z
Lentilla
Agapanthus
Vip
Bookmouse

Arrivals in the 98Xth Conversation skidded, bumped and flopped into the salon and ordered beverages from bots.
Bald Bloke handed back the blue fuzzy trousers, determined not to get them this time around.
MR had a work dilemma when a colleague was given a course for which [or witch] he had little knowledge. Minicheessemouse came back from the Isle of Skye and Lostmonalisa nabbed post 42.
Tartaronne dropped in after a short absence from the salon with news of her family .
The Vikings wandered off after a beach party.
Teuchter had a problem with a clod-hopping treadmill user.
We learnt that Santra does a good accent, even though he may not be able to speak the language. Nationalities were discussed and corned beef and cabbage was eaten on St Patrick's day. Titania described what sisu was, and salonistas decided to make it into a drink.

Lil had X-rays done and then ate Mexican in Tularosa. Agapanthus recently discovered some mixed race in her past, Runescribe was making armour, and Rosemary got a job in a call centre.
Beatrice went to a concert at the newly refurbished Ulster Hall, while The Thinker kept us up to date with the gossip in Thurrock. FG had her work hours cut, Lentilla had a pay cut, and numerous salonistas persisted in job hunting.
Lentilla informed us that atheist billboards were on show in Texas. There then followed a discussion on religious belief and despite there being clear differences of opinion in the salon, no one said an angry word.

GDZ started burning music CD's for his up coming wedding (200 sets). Hyp went to the Tut exhibition in Texas and Phil headed for Wales.

David B got an award for 'A Moment of Theatrical Excellence'.

Salonistas became quite worked up about car crushing as practiced by British Law Enforcement.SpaceCadette told us about 'parking wars'.

Next scribber please step up to the plate ...

That would be your hostess.

As the car-crushing discussion continued, Ben developed the mother of all migraines; I believe it lasted most of the ensuing week.

Do men really have a problem expressing emotions, or discussing them? Or is that a gender stereotype? FG's breakup leads to some interesting introspection.

Screaming children in public places were anathematized, while GDZ knuckled down to creating 200 CD sets of wedding music.

Hypatia put up a 'green' exhibit that included bags by Ben, and Runescribe donned cat ears for a LARP weekend.

Music gradually took over as the main topic, after we learned from the tv machine that "Come on Eileen" was the number 1 song of the 80's. Who was listening and when, to radio rock?

little miss nicky makes a cameo appearance.

Easter is celebrated and cooking finally emerges as a topic. Leg of lamb with anchovies??

Also discussed:
Horizons and the beneficial effect of a sea view. Or a desert view.
next weekend. this weekend. last weekend.
blood testing (apropos of Lil's tests)
pre-emptive benadryl for yeast allergies, and allergies, palliatives for
hot cross buns

The Albatross swoops in and picks up 1000 - 1500:

Hypatia had a successful re-cycling event and the crowd cried for more.

Elsewhere we got with the rhythm, the circadian rhythm: Ben got all lyrical, Bald Bloke danced with two left feet. Teuchter played along to a one string oriental banjo in Xian but the Terracotta Warriors were strangely silent.

WA took advantage of the sunshine to hose down his doghouse, where he often ends up and Mags went gardening thanks to aloe vera and lavender. Bea planted a honeysuckle and a spyrea before settling down to baguettes and shouting SPRINGTIME.

Amy was busy filling eggs for her Easter egg hunt and Lil’s car became the centre of attention for some African visitors, who probably hadn’t seen sleet before. The Salon was then engulfed from all sides by chocolate as we all celebrated Easter. Kelli stamped her foot with the outlaws as J got the credit for the roast lamb and she got the dirty nappy. Hyp and Sol had lamb too but BB went for a duck.

FG brought us the bad news that Sporky had had a serious medical set back and was back in hospital. The Salonistas turned their collective positive thoughts and prayers his way and Teuchter wrote a Buddhist prayer ribbon for him. It worked, he pulled through.

Irv attended a Seder on his reservation and enjoyed the fruit of the vine while Hyp mused on the food miles her dinner had travelled. Spring continued to sprung with Santra’s tulips and FG’s crocuses, snowdrops, narcissus and daffodils. Ben headed north to Glasgow and Arran, the Salon welcomed Pedro_Ecosse. Hyp and Mags saw the light through new specs. Ocular migraines were bandied about between Ben, Lostmonalisa and Bookmouse.

Spring retreated from Irv as winter made a comeback. Bea and WA headed for Nodnol, the ducklings and moorchicks headed for David B and Teuchter headed home as Hyp organised various hootooers for her British tour.

MR put her foot down in the pub but the foot got it’s own back later. Runscribe returned from LARPing as a whiff of curry drifted in from Bradford and Titania pigged out on breakfast. Hyp pulled a muscle wrestling with the garbage while Phil wrestled the jackdaws off his chimney.

Cat antics exercised some of us. SpaceCadette kicked off with the observation that cats have staff. Lil’s cats gave her the run around, Ben’s gave her the bums rush, d’El’s shredded her tomato seeds and loo roll and MR needed catnip to keep her feet cat free. Thinker reminisced about clock work mice.

We turned to organising Hyp’s visit to UK, what clothes? what luggage? What seats, decisions, decisions. Heathrow beckons. Santra consults regarding luggage.

Bea ranted about clampers and battle was joined assisted by Mol. Mr D reappeared surrounded by yards of pre-shrunk cotton, but sans kimono and tunic; we averted our gaze.

Z tells us he is off to the mountains to work and swaps house with lovely housemate and then drops the bombshell. Z and Ben are getting married. The
Salon erupted with fanfares, bunting and general jumping up and down, Ag runs outside to squeal as a Salon conga breaks out with Lil and MR providing the rhythm; dada dada Orkney.

Animals hove into view again, Runescribe’s hamster fell off its wheel, Titania doesn’t talk to dogs but WA spoke collie to his, meanwhile Ben tucked into veal not Babe and told us about marathon walking geese shepherded by a Scottish collie. Sol told us about her duckling herding skills.

Although he wasn’t a Salonista we mourned the passing of Pheloxi.

Lil’s legs and MR’s foot have us all worried but scans were in the offing. Santra ducks under the job scythe, Kelli gets on her bike with t’Other but can’t decide how to get to the Nodnol meet and Tod returns from Cornwall. Teuchter goes driving with #3 and keeps her cool before preparing for the Presidential visit.

And to prove what an interesting bunch we are we rounded off with medieval German witchcraft and Fanny covering Cream’s Badge.

Amy Paper Lady (1501-2000)

Discussion of the Pendle witches continued, after which salonistas moved on to favorite punctuation. (Parentheses and ellipses, here...) Teuchter cleaned the Towers and Titania brought cheesecake.

Z's goo diet is working, even if he *could* commit herbicide on a head of lettuce about now...

Hypatia arrives in England!

Irving takes a 4 day weekend (also a Navajo Nation holiday) to help S move.

Sporky heads back to the hospital with pneumonia

Taff comes in rather late, but is saved from the Seuss Pants by Anoldgreymoonraker in the very next post, 3 hours later. (At least, this chronicler doesn't recall seeing either gentleman earlier...)

Santra introduces cooliris.com, while Hyp is purple for a day. Agapanthus is overworked, while almost everyone else at the library is on vacation.

Lil issues a warning that Freddie's due soon, but that Hypatia should be safe. MR has multiple MRIs to plan for.

Lentilla points out that, having seen London and France... and (on the same subject) Ben manages to wear something sideways for a while that this chronicler can't figure out how she didn't notice...

tartaronne re-enters, and brings up some former topics again And vents.

More underpants discussion ensues and morphs into conversation about undergarments in general.

Grace appears to have slept through the night, in the pediatrician-definition sense

minichessemouse returns

Sporky is still in the hospital, but is getting milkshakes, so a mixed report... And ltp grabs the Seuss Pants!

lml gets busted for visiting the salon during w*rking hours.

Z: To shorten or not to shorten, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler to keep the hard-earned letters after the name, or if it's just pretentious. (Consensus--keep 'em!)

Pig puns for swine flu, touched off by Ag's co-worker being witty (halfway, anyway)

Mr Dreadful enters at 1996, prompting another Seuss Pants question (with the wrong name--oops)

Other sundry topics of discussion:
Feng shui and restaurant décor
Underage ironing (redux)
Weather (surprise, surprise)
Shoes
Swine flu
Whisky (and whiskey)
A political compass test.
The Black Death
MR's dissertation
New smileys!

Irving steps in to relate the doings of the conversation after post 2000 in a piece of text so coherent and tightly knit that I could only find one typo to alter in it:

First things first. I came to be a scribe through odd circumstances, which perhaps need to be explained. There has been a bit of mystery surrounding the disappearance of a Salonista, speculation and investigation of which will no doubt continue into the next conversation. The facts, and sequence of events, then, are as follows: At post 2009 (oddly enough), our Hostess called the scribes to do their duty! Amy attests that hers is already complete and sent, which is confirmed. By post 2051 Lil is still waiting for the sum total of the scribes' scribing to be completed. Tod admits his is unfinished as of post 2131, but manages to finish by 2143. At post 2182, Lil acknowledges recieving Tod's notes, and ask who has the remaining chunk. Two posts later, lostmonalisa (who, it turned out, had the remaining chunk) leaves her calling card and is not heard from again. The Salon gets so busy that by post 2257, when Lil notices it was lml who had the notes, it seems at first unremarkable that lml has not been heard of for more than 100 postings. Indeed, more than 40 Salonistas posted during the interval between post 2000 and 2500, so many of us went more than 100 posts without commenting! By post 2555, our Hostess has deduced that lostmonalisa is, in fact, lost. She has made no post anywhere on Hootoo more recent than her last post in the Salon. And the rest is, of course, history. Or is it?

Throughout this portion of the conversation, people continued to greet new and returning Salonistas, and speculate on the whereabouts of missing Salonistas, such as Demon Drawer, and Courtesy. A motion to place Mr. Dreadful in the Blue Pants is placed upon the table. Mr. Dreadful returns to let us know he has survived the Four Horsemen of the Socialifeocalypse, and to maintain that he had previously posted in the thread, and so the motion to bestow the Fuzzy Blue Pants upon him should be scrapped.

As always, Health is a constant topic in the Salon. People continue to make guesses at what our Hostess's newly diagnosed ailment, Thoracic syrinx, might be in laymen's terms: a bird's voicebox? A Dr. Suess-ism? A flute solo? syringomylia? (okay, that one was Z's, hardly a layman's opinion) Apparently it does not require surgery, which is a relief for all around, especially Lil, who let us know that her foot has begun to feel better (describing the feeling as though her body is sitting in champagne), just as the rest of her town's health seemed to fall apart. Subsequent MRIs reveal a touch of spondilitis, which she says is not a big deal. Meanwhile, Montana Redhead, having waited 3 months since her doctor's appointment about her own foot, finally gets into an MRI. Hyp gets news that her Rocky has passed away while she's been across the sea. Undecided agnostic Teuchter and her houseguest, President Hypatia, light candles at a cathedral for Sporky, who, upon FG's report, remains in the hospital, but is recovering. Word is he may be out soon. When Hypatia and Teuchter visit world-famous Westminster Cathedral, more candles are lit, for more Salonistas and others. Z is disappointed not to have any patients with Swine Flu, which may or may not be the Zombie Apocolypse.

History, religion, and "practical morality" rear their heads as topics that allow for heated and intelligent discussion on some very sensitive issues. Montana Redhead, our resident Historian, makes an offhand comment about the difficulty of teaching about the African Slave Trade to her History class. This seemingly innocuous comment about job stress lead to a discussion of the discomfort Salonistas have felt when visiting places where their own ancestors (or at least others from their culture) took part in the slave trade, which then leads to a discussion about Slavery in general. All admit it was terrible, but there are differing opinions on the details, such as: 1) whether or to what degree those of us living today should feel guilty about what happened so long ago; 2) whether it could be said that any one form of slavery is worse than any other, and if so, whether it was that of Africans against Africans, or Europeans against Africans, or perhaps Africans against Europeans; 3) what the real differences were between slavery as it had previously been known and chattle slavery as it developed; 4) whether the teaching of the African Slave Trade along with the American Civil Rights movement in British Secondary Schools is insufficient to give a proper view of African Historyl; 5) the effect the Slave Trade has had on subsequent civil rights issues and the current socioeconomic situation of African Diaspora; 6) the significance of Europeans held as slaves at various points in history, etc. Z and Ben recommend Dan Carlin's Hardcore History on the subject. All this, in turn, leads to a discussion of whether or not the Isrealites were treated as poorly by the Egyptians as the Tora would have us believe, though it is generally agreed that Isrealites were not treated well by the Egyptians.

Weather and its effects are always a present topic of conversation in the Salon. Ban Collie weekend forecast is sunny and clear, with a chance of Jazz. Ban Collie Day gardening is on the minds of many Salonistas. Br. Magwich enlists son Beren to assist in weeding, but given previous discussion of underage ironing in previous threads, and forced labor earlier in this one, it is unsurprising that no one brings up the topic of child labor . After a brief warm spell, many Salonistas find themselves cold, but without heat. Therefore, the casting of clouts, and when this should be done, is discussed, with no general consensus being reached.

Meets, mini-meets, and other excuses for a good drinking are discussed. People start traveling to Leeds and Nodnol for the Meet Ups. Plans for the Zoo meetup are made. Teuchter worries she may have broken President Hypatia prior to the Zoo meet up, but the injury (a woefully sore foot) does not force either of them to miss the Zoo. It does cause them to sit out the Leeds mini-meet, in anticipation of the larger Nodnol meet. At the Zoo meet a good time was apparently had by all, especially Kelli's T'boy, who took a real shine to David B and Teuchter. All the American Salonistas and several others get very over the big meet up in Nodnol. Freddie joins the conversation and some of the Leeds meet planning goes haywire as a result.

Employment, education, and economic issues continue to bring both mirth and misery. Ben discovers one of her contractors has been dialing into phone-conferences early and quietly eavesdropping on potentially embarassing conversations. Ways to make this more fun are discussed, but then dashed when Ben reports that the contractor in question is aware he's been found out. Some Salonistas, including Runescribe and Rosemary, are settling into new careers or new aspects of their careers, while others are still searching for jobs. Bookmouse mentions applying for something, which turns out to be a post at the Library of Doom. Minichessemouse finishes and sends in her UCAS (Universities and Colleges Admissions Service) application, and hopes. In one day, Gw7en has two job interviews and schedules two more. David B reveals that he and Bookmouse have upcoming job interviews with the Library of Doom. David B doesn’t get the post he’s going for due to a situation created by those hiring him. Bookmouse, did get her post, but tried to cheer David up by claiming to have got it by default. MR has to tell some of her students that they are in danger of failing, as they neglected to participate in class discussion. Later, she discovers many of them have been unable to alphabetize their bibliographies.

Language and linguistics make for some interesting conversation. Can you translate something into "Pirate"? Apparently on Facebook you can! The English (pirate) version of Face Book is discussed, as are differences between the English (UK) and English (US) versions of Facebooks. Sadly, the UK and US versions seem to differ only by date and time format. The subject of vocabulary comes up again, as Ben's tutor insists on using the (generally agreed to be archaic) word "datum" as the singular for data. Her post, which contains nothing more offensive than a reference to her tutor's posterior, which rhymes with "datum," is temporarily removed, but later restored. Whether we bear or bare (or even ) things in mind is mentioned, as is whether those who pencil comic books are pencillers or pencilers, which apparently depends less on which side of the Atlantic you live on, and more which comic book company you work for.

Early morning construction near her apartment continues to compete with late night academic writing habits for control of MR's sleep cycle. No clear winner is declared but it is possible that the Academic World is the loser, as it delays her final product. Meanwhile, her candles are confiscated by the University staff who have taken it upon themselves to rid all University owned apartments of anything that could remotely be related to enjoyment and/or fire (which are, after all, basically the same things). The fairness and legality of this is discussed, as are various workarounds, but in the end, MR deems it not worth fighting over.

Bookmouse requests assistance with dealing with anger issues. Solutions, including illicit substances, destruction of property, deep breathing, laughter, other brain-chemical altering emotional replacements (including at least one that requires a second person), meditation, chocolate, alcohol, nicotine, exercise, pen chewing, singing, and quarreling with significant others.

Scottish Money and the very definition of Legal Tender is discussed. Who accepts what? Should the UK go Euro? Should the EU convert to the Pound? This leads to a discussion of whether small coins, and even small bills should, perhaps, be done away with.

Hyp’s birthday occurred during and around the Leeds meet, which she was unfortunately unable to attend due to too injuries sustained during previous meets. She received an infinitely comfortable purple boot, an aged and mellowed flying carpet, a walker for her foot, a mississippi paddle steamer with jazz band, a just dessert, yeast-free cake, a sensory photo album,long distance hug, a scarf that attracts Timelords, a BurlyMan Bot, and mended feet.

Short term memory loss and Methods of remembering what we meant to say in the Salon. This leads to a discussion of notepad and where to find it, which in turn leads this Scribe to make a bad pun regarding PaperAmy's offspring. The Notepad discussion eventually branched out into Word, Excel, and other applications, their ancestry and respective quality and usefulness. VisiCalc is identified as being the ur-spreadsheet program, of which our Hostess seems particularly fond. A couple Salonistas pull out older Macs for use when newer Windows based machines won’t do, and Tod’s Linux machine seems to be a reluctant , as it runs slower when using bittorrent. It is generally agreed that Excell for Mac has gone downhill, and various alternatives are discussed.

Other, miscellaneous topics of conversation, as always, come and go: Salonistas in general, and Goo aficionados in particular are disappointed by the continued absence of new smileys in the Goo skin. Amy's paperform is mentioned, and its origins generally reminisced about. Runescribe expresses nervousness about her new LARP campaign, but in the end it goes so well an encore is requested. Marv's car damage appears to be under warranty, and so he hopes it can be fixed more easily than before. Beatrice returns to her old school for some Scottish Dancing lessons. Santra brings a (mercifully brief) discussion of Rickrolling into the Salon. GDZ and J get their marriage license! This leads to discussion of how it seems like only yesterday GDZ first mentioned getting to know J. Ben drops a link: http://www.textsfromlastnight.com This Scribe develops a niche, which is not as painful as it sounds. Hugh Jackman's worthyness becomes a topic of conversation that gives way to whether or not any of those among us who are both mad, and hold doctorate degrees, would be capable of turning Ben into a spandex clad, teleporting superhero. The Thinker reveals supervillian origins, rather than the Rodin origins many of us had been assuming. Tod has a mouse problem, which leads to discussion of mouse deterrents and other anti-mouse technology, including cats. This frightens some of our resident mice, but luckily they stay with us. Star Wars Day is celebrated: May the Fourth be with you. Some Salonistas celebrate a more serious holiday, the end of Liberation in DK, by putting candles in windows. FG was chosen for jury duty in a criminal trial, but cannot talk about it. Gandalfstwin's loss of 16000 words worth of data on natural disasters is itself, ironically, a disaster, which in turn causes gandalfstwin to pun his way into missidentifying Ben's gender. Loftskywalker hums Ennio Morricone’s theme to “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, which starts off a few Salonistas claiming to be either Good or Bad. No one wants to claim Ugly, which is as it should be, since Salonistas are known for being incredibly attractive. Last, but not least, the Awesomeness of the new Star Trek movie is mentioned, but no spoilers are forthcoming.

And now here we are at the dawn of 99X. There are fresh cinnamon buns at the butler's hatch, the samovar has been refreshed, and the IIEM awaits your orders. We seem to be talking about British political parties at the moment. Is that seemly?

Please make yourselves at home.