h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Bosun clears his throat politely.*
"Beggin' your pardon, Cap'n I've been standing here all the time. What are your commands?"

I saw you, bosun, I was just testing you! Where in under the Gods are we? How long till Alfenhiem?

*Bosun indicates charts.*
"We are here Capt'n. Alfhiem is some many leagues to the east.We are waiting for you to plot and chart the course."

*Liquid turns the charts the right way around as Nuge is studying them upside down.*

Ah! er... go over here *indicates point on map* then here *another point then here *indicates spot of air a good 4 feet off to the right of the map* then directly to alfenhiem by this route *draws squiggly line round in circles and then to Alfenhiem*, okay?

*Bosun looks at chart*
"That's not an island, Capt'n It's the brown ring where you left your coffee cup. Might I politely suggest we go this way? With your permission, of course"

Ah, well, why not? Avoid the coffee cup Island if you want. I'll be in my quarters, sulking.

"Forgive me capt'n. We would deem it a great honour were you to remain on deck and steer us."
The bosun bows politly.

*Runs to wheel, grinning wildly* YAY!!!

*Bosun hides head in hands shaking his head. Liquid lays a hand on the wheel and takes command without Nuge knowing.*

*Bats unseen hand out of the way without thinking* Hey look! I can STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I RUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!

Liquid's grip is like a grip of steel, unbreakable, as he takes control.
"You will not cause danger to my princess, Nuge"
He reels in the bosun who'd gone water ski-ing behind the ship.

*takes crowbar to unseen hand and strains* GNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!! Damn, what in under the gods is holding this darn wheel? I wanna steer!!!

Dan awakes to find himself under the captains table with a serious headache and two bottles of the captains rum empty beside him.

*looks under table* who in the gods names are you?

Well im Dan and Ive drunk your rum.. but I can do other things just as stupid..

*looks around for a few seconds with head in hands, then attacks like a leopard on a trampoline, biffing and thumping madly* Drink my rum, will you, you impetuous swine?!? I'll have you clapped in irons! *calms down, straightens shirt* i am the captain. We are headed to Alfenhiem on the Princess's orders. What do YOU do around here, other than drinking my rum?

*picks up the chart and looks at the compass* "Well its not navigation thats for sure".

*The sunshine is glorious. The wind is bracing and catches her hair like a curtain behind her*

*She looks up at the billowing sails and the crew all appear to be working happily.. some are singing.. she can hear them up aloft*


*She grins mischievously and looks round*

*stands on the deck, blinded by the sun*

*She sees Cal squinting at the sunlight and laughs out loud*


Come On Cal!!! It's beautiful!


Enjoy the sun while you can!


*grins broadly as her eyes flash with mischief*


Race you to the top!


*Suddenly she is climbing the rigging*