h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Look forward to it,Lil, we need the princess.

Shoelace undone? It's these bloody Reeboks. I don't know, you pay the bloody earth for trainers and you can't even train in them. Hang about. Armour doesn't have boots or laces.

Oh I get it. You kidder you. You're on a wind up, aren't you, Captain. Come on now, let's just stop mucking about and get ashore.

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*Drops the gangplank, and listens to the scream as it hits Liquid* Sorry! *Lifts the gangplank, then drops it again for the fun of it* Sorry! My bad! *Uses a ladder*

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Now stop mucking about Nuge. Let's get the Princess into safety. And remamber you cannot hurt me. I am an immortal.I feel no pain.
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*Drops gangplank, muttering* Go ahead, M'lady, and who is that nut over there in the forest?

Right Nuge, as you are the captain and leader of your men and I a bodyguard. What are your orders?

Okay. We're on an island apparently riddled with danger. Therefore, we should leave the ship unguarded and walk heedlessly into the jungle, where we will get lost and attacked by natives.

You may want to reconsider that.
I have no wish to subplant your authority, brave Captain, but what if we were to leave, say three men here on guard, take those machetes and ropes and bulld a cart. We could then capture horses over there and use them to pull the cart with the supplies on.
Of course it's not my place to say, just a suggestion.

I have a better idea. We'll leave three men here on guard, take those machettes and ropes and bulld a cart. We'll then capture horses over there and use them to pull the cart with the supplies on. Gods, I amaze myself sometimes.

Brilliant suggestion captain. You are obviously a man of intelligence and perception. By the use of my magical powers I have tamed the horses. Here let me give you a hand with those supplies.

*Looks proud of himself and goes to lift some supplies*

Have a care Princess. The captain seems trust worthy enough. as I'm sure the bosun is. But we may have spies amongst the crew.

Quick thinking, good captain. Let's get ourselves under way shall we? What say you?

*Keeps walking, and shouts back* Lets go already!!! *Gestures to the crew to begin walking, a handful stay behind*

Here, milady, let me help you mount this steed. A lady as fine as yourself should not walk.

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This path looks as if it has been used many times captain, obviously a sign of humans, or some animals we should take care.

Okay. Grab weapons and be on your guard.

Leave that guard alone and get off him.