h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

(has recovered in the meantime from her newest fainting fit )

If I have to listen to Lys talking without punctuation points I *shall* develop an inner ear problem!

(gives zax a hug for catching her in time and accepts drink)

/thinks: I usually don't drink hard stuff, but maybe with the help of this sainthood I won't get too drunk /

(sips cautiosly)

I still have no wings on my back (or do I just not see them yet??)
When oh when...(sigh) ..I want to become just a little bit famous and fly out to help people!

When will that day come!

* M.K says rather enigmatically... *

I can sympathize M'niki, HE is probably doing three things at once like myself at the present time !!!

M.K* - Simpering & Knackered...

I don't talk that funny if you don't like it though you could always go visit my sister she sadly uses punctuation http://www.h2g2.com/U145912 not nearly as interesting and she hasn't done much with her page but I'm working on making her^_^ we are totally different except we both like to read and we both broke the pinkies on our right hands and we share a room with bunkbeds the horror I got stuck with the top cause her feet stick out over the edge and dad said she'd roll off it's to close to the fan I'll sit up one night and get a concussion cause I get hit with it but nobody believes me so oh well I guess It wont hurt that much *sigh*

Suddenly the glow of Heaven appears, I feel a soft touch on my back, once, twice...the glow gets stronger, turns into a light..the door opens, I fly out!!
Yes Yes Yes!
All you anonymous artists, here I am to lighten up your life!
m'niki-Patron Saint of Anonymous Artists says hi to everyone!!!

Nice entrace but do you alwase boost your ego when you enter a room or is that left for specal ocasions.

With an ego like that, *every* occasion is a special one.

*waves to the retreating back of m'niki*
BYE!!

(didn't you get a pair of paint spattered wings? and a halo to match if i remember correctly!)

*smiles around the room*

COuld I sign up as a saint for hte Maffia??

Sorry, the farthest we could stretch to would the Patron Saint of Family Business !!!

- Simply, High Spirited.

That will do, sign me up please?

* If the phrase to ‘drink like a fish’, were applied to Guardian Angels, the worlds oceans would soon vanish. It’s not that they drink too much, it’s just often. VERY often… *

* If there is a party anywhere in the known or ‘unknown’ Universe, without a doubt you will find an Angel filed away in a dark, smoky corner desperately losing to the eternal battle with gravity. On most such occasions, the greeting ‘Hello, how are you Zax ?’ will more than suffice… *

* The current party spot is the adjoining room to the Wings Bar in Heaven where currently all matter of escapades are taking place… *

* Over here, Saint Manxie the Patron Saint of Sociable Hermits is holding court amongst a thong of beautiful women. Apparently, all that time alone on his desolate Isle gave him time to get to grips with his ‘inner woman’. Just as well, or he would have had nobody to reject him every Saturday night… *

* Over yonder, Saint Girleight the Patron Saint of the Accident Prone is busily trying to pull the cork out of an ancient bottle of red found in the deepest bowels of Heaven. She succeeds, although the wincing Saint Galaxy Babe the Patron Saint of Tantrums behind her, is holding her eyelid in pain, and who is presently building up to a rapid crescendo of indignation… *

* Saint Kornball the Patron Saint of Corny Remarks nudges Saint Galaxy Babe… *

Saint Kornball – Would you like more punch ???

* Up on the bandstand area, GOD is belting out a karaoke rendition of ‘Imagine’ whilst tonight’s musical guest - John Lennon sits up front wincing… *

GOD – Alright !!! I think I’ve held center stage here for far too long. Although the first 3 hours were fine, I admit the last 5 hours was far from MY best…

* A murmur goes through the crowd, quiet like a lynching party when someone idly suggest they split the tab for the purchase of a sturdier rope… *

GOD – Anyway, I suggest in this lull in proceedings we get around to officially welcoming some of our new saints !!!

* Polite clapping is heard, mainly due to the fact that some of the seated guests are relived that HE has finally stopped singing… *

GOD – Well, I’ll just step down here to Kasia… OHHH!!! *

* Crash !!! *

* HE did stumble down the stair, only to regain his composure at the last moment… then Keith Moon hit a ride cymbal… *

I dub you Saint Kasia the Patron Saint of Syncopation !!!

I charge you to go forth from here bring harmony to the world & 'jazz up' some of the neglected parts !!!

* A Golden Sword comes flying from the stage rafters attached to a rope & sandbag. GOD gives St.Peter a wink who in turn gives him a thumbs up from up high in the wings. Suddenly, multi-coloured light swirls through the air as the sword reaches its destination on Saint Kasia’s shoulder. A pair of smoking wings appear & a halo composed of tiny rotating musical clefts… *

* HE turns his attention to Lys… *

I dub you Saint Lys the Patron Saint of Asylum Seekers !!!

May you go forth and seek out those rare few who find reality a rather staid existence and invent more. You are help them to find somewhere to call home, preferably where the wild pixies roam free and where there are ten metre high electrified fences...

Oh… and protect a few foreigners as well…

* A sword dances on stray eddies of air as a set of bandaged wings sprout forth & a rather loopy round halo appears… *

GOD – Now... Can the band play ‘All that Jazz’ ???

* The entire room groans… *

How long does it takes before I get my wings??

* Suddenly *

* the band hastily play the Godfather theme as Don Alfredo enters... *

* HE even has to double-take... *

GOD - Oh, yes. Here is our latest applicant to be a Guardian Angel !!!

* HE ponders that at least joining such an angelic band will stop him eventually venturing to the 'infernal' ones 'underworld'...

I dub you Saint Don Alfredo the Patron Saint of Family Business !!!

May you go forth and teach others the secrets of shooting for better family relations !!!

Thank You very much GOD. I will serve you as best as I can.

It was a pleasure...

BTW the 50th Guardian Angel Party Extravaganza !!!

...is being held here

http://www.h2g2.com/A399675

Hay alfrado when r u starting the prtection rackets

Hey! i resemble that remark!

hmm... greetings to kasia, Lys, and don alfredo*-)

may you each find enjoyment in your saintly duties... and, failing that, may you at least find lots to drink!


The Archangel Zax*

*Prime

Hi. I'm Thomas and I would like to apply for Angelhood. Hmmm...something to be the Patron Saint of...how about...Small Shiny Things! I shall consider it a demotion to a higher rank.

That makes abou as much sence as them
*points to the tap dancing pengins (see the 50th party)*
how can you be demoted to a higher rank