h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm 17, Bisexual, male, and I live in homophobic New Zealand, and I want to meet other guys with my leaning. Gay or Bi teenagers seem to be pretty far back in the closet over here (I've got an arm out of the door, at the most), and although there are a few boys at school who I think are good-looking, or downright cute, I know that they're straight. Basicly, I can't think of how to meet prospective boyfriends! Any hints?

G'day, and welcome to M2M2!

At 17, a lot of the obvious options aren't yet available to you, so there goes my list of obvious suggestions... All that comes to mind right now is joining a few community groups and seeing who else is there. (Are there any local theatre groups in your area? Sporting clubs are probably a bad idea in this context.)

I must lead a charmed life - I grew up in Adelaide (South Oz), which is a reasonably open-minded place. But even then, I didn't meet anyone worth the trouble until I went to university. (Then, sadly, I met several lads who turned out to *be* trouble - but that's another story.)

I'd suggest not rushing to meet someone, mostly because the first one you meet won't necessarily be someone you'd choose in cold blood. The temptation is there to grab the first one that comes along, and that could be dangerous. I've also found that when I'm looking I don't find anybody, but when I haven't been looking at all I've suddenly met someone fabulous .

But to get back to the question... I really don't know the answer... Just hang in there, and someone will turn up, probably in some unlikely place.

Ivan.

I know. I probably just sound desperate for yiff (sex) but really I'm lonely for love. I'd never 'grap' someone like that, I'm the type who agonises for months before asking someone out. Really, I want to meet other guys for support more than anything. In november I'm moving to Wellington, (I currently live in Palmerston North) so I've forbidden myself from going out with ANYONE. Down there I'll be attending university. (alas, not an arts degree though, bio-genetics is my speciality) I know I'll meet people there. It just......well, I'm lonely, is all. I suppose I must hang in there and all will become good in the fullness of time.

Um, Now that I'm here, could I carefully approach the subject of AIDS? I have a morbid fear of that barstard virus, how can I avoid it? (I'm not the sort to sleep around, but y'know...)I've heard everything about safe-sex, etc but specifcally for straight people.
Am I more at risk being Bi?

Oh..I'm sorry for bringing that up, actually. But y'hear these stories y'know. "You'll get AIDS for sure!" and so on. And I've got a morbid, unfounded fear of it because, being a whiz at cellular biology in general and Genetics expecially, I know exactly how a virus works. It's an unstoppible, unliving killer. Once you've got a virus you can never get rid of it, and HIV is the height of viral genetic evolution. Bacteria and viruses evolve very quickly, and HIV has achived more or less the perfect strain. It's totally unstoppible, gives it's host many years to spread the virus and then kills the host. It's the most efficient virus ever, nothing comes close. Utterly terrifying. So I worry.

Sorry about the delay - RL gets in the way sometimes...

Anyway. I'm glad you're across the actual viral/biological issues. (I'm not. I'm an historian who currently masquerades as a systems analyst.) I don't think being bi puts you at any greater risk than anyone else of contracting HIV. The simplest way to deal with the issue is to be Safe with every partner you may one day have, regardless of their gender. HIV is only seen as a gay/bi issue in the western world because that's the community where it first manifested; in Africa, remember, it's a hetero problem. (In fact, everyone's problem. Sooner or later the general population will understand this.)

I know nothing of the NZ response to HIV, or whether there's any particular gay/bi health resources available. Is there any sort of gay/bi phone couselling service in your area? They'd be the best people for you to talk to for practical advice on how to protect yourself, and - for a bit of perspective - they could give you an idea of how big a problem HIV is in NZ.

But enough of the grim stuff. I'd say that worrying about the issue is not entirely a bad thing, if it makes you conscious of the need to be careful.

And I know what you mean about the whole sex/love/affection tangle. It's affection that I crave; sex itself I can take or leave.

I'll probably say more later, but right now I should deal with this backlog I've got...

I've talked (via msn) to a really nice furry from Duneden, (I'm a furry person) and found out he's a genetics postgrad student, bisexaul AND used to work for aids NZ. Apparently the outlook isn't as grim as I thought, like you said, thank god. And yeah I got the "I hope you're playing safely" discussion too.

It sounds like MSN has now justified its existence, if you ask me. That's a good person to find. (And the 'play safe' discussion is just automatic these days )

Which leaves us clear to go back to the original question - and I've still no real idea about how to meet guys. (I can't even work that out for myself these days.) I still think you'll be in a better position when you get to Uni.

Yeah, definatly. People are more mature at university, and I'm going to try and come out about my orientation when I go there.

Actually, a close friend of mine who serves as a sort of confidant for her massive circle of (real) friends, wants to introduce me to a gay friend of hers. I know she's trying to set us up, but I said go ahead; If we don't end up going out at least we can be friends.

It's nice to have someone around who cares enough to try to set you up... (I wish somebody would set me up with someone and save me all that angst. )

I think she's trying to save the *other* guy from angst. She said "he needs someone loyal to care about him" and apprently I'm sutible. This guy is younger than me -16- and has already been thrown out of home for his orientation.

Strewth - does that sort of thing *still* happen? So much for the 21st century - it's just like the 19th... At the very least, I'd say that this guy could do with a friend, especially one near his age.