h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Apologies for the delay. Mrs B just sprayed balsamic vinegar in her eye, so I had to go and rescue her. This involved pointing and laughing a lot.

Now Shepherd Neame's Early Bird.

To be honest, I don't know what to make of this. Smells of elderflowers, and they always smell like wee to me. That really puts me off. And the flavour is as thin as the Brahma, but with less aftertaste. Really disappointing

Pedigree VSOP

The first of two 'premium ales' on my list tonight. They ought to be, they cost me over £2 a bottle.

Certainly a familiar hoppy smell coming off this one, although it's certainly paler than your average Pedigree. Pours almost without fizz. A complex flavour - the Burton sulphur (ie. fart) flavour is still there, but there's a bit of vanilla and chocolate from the oak barrels. Nice? Yes. Nice enough to justify paying extra? No.



B

I want to hear more about how anyone could spray vinegar in their eye. You can inform her that I'm pointing and laughing remotely, if you like.

B

She'd put balsamic and olive oil together in a little pot and had shaken it up. She lifted the lid while peering inside to see how well it had mixed, and whoosh! Most amusing.

*joins in with the virtual pointing and laughing*

Smurnoff vodka. MM, tastes like vodka. Not my first choice of vodka but it were on offer I may crack the bottle of cuban rum open instead but I don't appear to have any mixers cept water, and I was planning on getting some Jamacan ginger beer to go with it
The vodka has seemed to temporatalty quell the stomach/period pains

You can have this bloody Early Bird if you like. The lesson of this evening thus far is to buy beer at Morrison's rather than S**tsbury's.

I've just palmed most of it off on Mrs B: 'Would you like a shandy, love?' That's two liquid-based disasters she's had to deal with this evening...

We still need the details on teh first such disaster... otherwise we won't stop the virtual pointing and laughing...

BREAKING NEWS: Apparently, Same Difference (who finished third in the X-Factor in 2007) demand that their theatres provide a rider of crisps and Haribo. You heard it here first.

It was up there somewhere, legsy, but you may have simulposted. Here are the gory details again:

She'd put balsamic and olive oil together in a little pot and had shaken it up. She lifted the lid while peering inside to see how well it had mixed, and whoosh! Most amusing.

What flavour crisps?

B

My source remains tight-lipped. I suspect beef Monster Munch.

My favourite Monster Munch, those.

B

Black Sheep Golden Sheep

Aha! This is more like it!

Nice liquoricey nose and a pleasant tingle on the tongue. This is a really easy-drinking pale ale - I'd actually say it's a tad heavier than that - that I'd seriously recommend you look up. I could drink it all night

Reading between the lines, do I take it that Same Difference have been highlighting the bill in a Torquay hotel this evening?

B

Worthington White Shield Bitter

Now, while I am an ostensibly a real ale lover, I will admit to liking poor-man's bitter as well, not least Worthington's Creamflow, the easiest-drinking beverage known to man, that which was on tap at the Hall bar during my University years and hence that which I've drunk enough of to float the HMS Belfast.

The White Shield pours well to a nice pale brown pint, has a tasty aroma of malt, and drinks almost as easily as the aforementioned draught. In fact I'm halfway down the pint before getting out of the kitchen. Damn!

- personal rating only.

B

In a nearby theatre, yes

You've certainly done better with me on the ale front tonight...

The Worthy's isn't magnificent, to be honest. It just hits all my tastebuds in the right places.

B

I'm boycotting any product that uses the World Cup in its adverts, despite having nothing to do with football. So far Littlewoods, KitKat and Pringles are off the shopping list. Not that I ever buy anything fr4om them anyway.

So if you're selling footballs, football boots, grass or xenophobic violence, I will not rule out buying from you if you use the World Cup in your ads. If it's decking, I reckon you're cashing in.