h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*As befits the cabin of a bard, everything is in a bit of a mess. In one corner is a hammock that hasn't been put up yet, with a duvet and some pillows scattered across it. In another is a big mound of bardic odds and ends: manuscripts, books, musical instruments, discarded food wrappers and the occasional dirty plate*

*Throws self on duvet*

Aaah! Lovely!

Grimr!!!
what a wonderful place!

any way i'm jsut dropping by to give you your cabin warming

and to let you know that you are a lieutenant.... just because you were one of the first to sign up....

Viking Fab! Thankyou very much captain!

A lieutenant, eh? 'Bard-Lieutenant Grimr Oakenhound' - that's starting to grow on me!

no problem

but just becaue you're a lieutenant doesnt mean that you dont have to salute me any more...
saltues and calling me 'sir' are still required.

but yes i quite agree that does have quite a ring to it.

Right you are sir!

Er ... what does a Viking salute look like? Given the kind of Vikings we are, would a friendly wave do, do you think?

hmm.. i was thinking the general sort of salute that you see in movies... kind of like american army... or something...
i suppose that if, as an officer, you strongly dissagree, we can go for a friendly wave... but i figured that even if we're not berserkers we should have a little disipline... after all we probably should give the bosun /something/ to do...

*knock knock* oh, hi there!

*salutes captain and lieutenant* drinks are being served in the rec room, sir, er, sirs...

thanks there madhawk.. we'll be there in a sec.. i've jsut got to ask trin...er... grimr a question...


um grimir... as bard i've got a little job for you. before we started this ship ani, foecrusher, goatpuncher, and i went on a raid... our first ever raid... and we were wondering if you could write a ballad (or whatever you call it) about it.... would you do that for us?

Certainly, Captain!

I shall scour for historical records of the great raid and then try to rustle up a little something.

ok... here we go. i found it!!! the frist raid ever starts here... http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/F134947?thread=459978&skip=180&show=20

Right - here we go!

"Come hear my saga! The legends speak
In days of yore (about last week)
In search of cheesecake, sweet and true,
Captain Halla led her crew
Armed with roses with prickly thorns
All wearing their helmets (without any horns):
Foecrusher, wet and brained by cheese,
Goatpuncher, embarrassed, right down to her knees,
And Ani Seahorse, towel in hand,
The band strode out onto the land.
The raided a village, very politely
And the villagers thought they had done it quite rightly.
Back to the ship their triumphant way they wended
And Madhorse put out a fire - this saga has now ended."

Hmmm. Well, it was a bit of a rush job. The next one will be better, I promise.

oh! that was wonderful!!!!
absolutely wonderful!!!! well done grimir!

i'm wondering if perhaps we should put this wonderfullness somewhere safe and special. for everyone to see.

perhaps you'd like to make an apage titled something like 'The Legend of the Drakker Lifthrasir'. or somehting like that. and jsut cut and paste that lovely saga in there. and then you can put all the others in there too. that way i can link it to the front page and use it as advertising... and your work will be remembered for ever, and seen by all. as it should...

what do you think?

i can make hte page if you like... but i thought it would be best, and easier if you did it...

with sagas like that we'll put those berserkers to shame

you bet!!!
well done grimir!!!
you're the best bard ever

Aw! Thank you!

You're a wonderful audience!

I shall make a page, Captain! Might have to do it tomorrow, however

oh dont worry grimr. take your time....well a reasonable amout anyway.

....just dont mind me when i spell your name wrong already i've gaught myself spelling it grimir and grinr.... sorry....

Oh, I like 'Grinr'

Right, Captain, I have made a saga page:

A2955468

It's not very pretty at present: I shall decorate it later!

*looks tickled pink*

oooh! its wonderful!!!!

good work Grinr... (... i know i spelled it wrong...)

That's a fantastic Saga, Grimr!

And may there be many more!