h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hmmm, no pun intended, but hey...

IS ANYONE OUT HERE?!?!

Out where?

Maybe they've all fallen behind the sofa...

There's a sofa?!?

Oh, the ugly plaid thing... what was that, a garage sale "treasure"?

I'm not sure where it came from, but as you'd expect, everyone here has their own ideas about what makes for a perfect decor.

Anyway, if we can get it to move, we'll be able to see if anyone's trapped behind it.

*grabs an end and heaves*

Come to think of it, heaving might explain the colour scheme.

*hefts the other end*

My back!

Oh no!!!



I was a in another life!!

hello!

I am here too!

MORT!! Were you behind the ugly couch??

Help me with Ivan here... he's hurt his back...

Hold his hand while I poke him.

*pokes fingers into Ivan's back* Does that hurt?

*now dangling upside-down from gaudy chandelier*

It did tickle a bit, yes.

This light-fitting has to go. I've never really looked at it before, and I'm wishing I hadn't seen it now.

If you push the couch under me, I'll just drop onto it. That might fix my back too...

Aww poor Ivan!

I have been hiding behind a bottle of wine and a bag of spring onion crisps

*shoves couch under light*

Praytell, what is a "spring onion chip"??

*plummets*



*a cloud of dust rises*

*coughs*

Someone should clean this place...

The couch looks better, covered in dust... Goodness how sad.

The place should be cleaned a bit, but where do we start? I'll be off to the shops sooner or later - maybe I'll get a broom, and a mop.

Get a mop, a broom, some cleaning-soap-stuff, at least one bucket, some rags to dust, wood polish, a vaccuum cleaner, paint, paintbrushes, and a new couch. Or at least some lengths of fabric so that I can re-cover the couch. Get pretty fabric.

Oh. And a scullery maid.

What did your last slave die of?

*trudges off to shops...*

*mutters* Pretty fabric... pretty fabric... h'mm....

My last slave... ha...

I used to have a cult following but I convinced them all that they must kill themselves to achieve nirvana. I am a harsh god(dess).

I don't know that we need another cult around here... Nighthoover is probably enough to keep us going.

*dumps load of cleaning products* The furniture place was shut - we'll have to put up with this couch for a while.

Oh well, I don't really fancy being a cult leader again. It was stressful. All those people expecting me to have answers all the time...

Oh, well... down to cleaning...

*starts scrubbing walls, tables, every surface she can find*

Did you get any fabric at least?