h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Adult Kids of Divorce - A27655662
Author: Kyra - don't worry, it's not just you. I hate everyone at the moment. - U1572880

I was tossing up whether or not to submit this, as it's a bit short, but I think it's an important topic.

This is indeed an important topic, well done Kyra. The only thing I'd suggest would be a tweak to the title "Adult Children of Divorce". I'll help you with this as I'm divorced and my older three children were only 7,6 and 2 at the time of our split, but they are adults now and having to deal with step-family and extended family.

GB

Thanks, I changed the title.

Hopefully I can be of some practical help to you.

Maybe make it "Adult Children *and* Divorce"? I agree, good subject, though.

If you want to make it longer, perhaps you can add a side note to the effect that many people wait with splitting up "for the children" until they're adults, but it can be just as upsetting then? (Not to mention having your parents arguing all the time!)

I made it Adult Kids of Divorce cos that's how they're known, as AKODs or ACODs.

Ah, ok. Makes sense

My sympathy goes out to you and the problems you have.

But I feel this article is rather negative. It lists all the problems that adult children of divorce may experience, but doesn't suggest anything to overcome these problems. I'd like to see suggestions, both for the children and for the parents as to how they might improve the situation.

Like prozac?

I'll add something, but it'll have to wait until tomorrow at least, I have an assignment due.

I take the topic either if its 'Adult Kids of Divorce' or Adult Children of Divorce' as an interesting and knowledgeable one. However, I would suggest a more suitable title for it as 'Offspring of Divorce'.

Hope you would like it. Thanks!

I don't consider my children offspring of divorce. They're children of the marriage, the problems stem from the separation and divorce. The title as is, is OK with me.

The descendants come into being as a result of a marriage in the order of their growth with the passage of time are kids, children......adults etc. but their generic name on the average can reasonably be termed as OFFSPRING at whatever part of life they are living at present.

Therefore, in my opinion the more suitable title would be ADULT OFFSPRING OF DIVORCE.

Do you find some weight in what I have suggested about the title?

Like I said, I originally named it Adult Kids of Divorce because that's what people who were adults when their parents divorced call themselves. Children is okay as well, as though it's a little rarer, it's still used. Offspring simply isn't used, so anyone looking for information won't find the entry. AKOD (or ACOD) is the generally accepted acronym.

I polished this up a bit. It's still short, but I can't think of much more to add.

Titlewise, I'd suggest something like:
'Adult Children - when Parents Divorce'

The piece seems to focus on children who felt they had stable, loving parents while growing up and the problems that result from having their perceptions demolished. I think that most children realise that there parents' marraige is in trouble long before the actual divorce.

You may want to include other situations, too. For example, it's easy to decide which parent to side with, visit, spend holidays with, etc. if one parent was the horrid one. It isn't so often that both parents are abusive, or unfaithful, or morally bankrupt. Often one parent was more obviously the 'good' parent.

And, possibly the worst scenario is when neither parent wants to have anything further to do with the adult children! Rare as that may be, it could be more common when substance abuse is involved on both sides. Drugs, in particular, tend to make addicts very self-centered, always seeking that next dose.

I do wonder though, which is harder for the adult child; children of parents who divorce but are still available, friendly, and supportive, or those with parents who have died?

And perhaps add some strategies for dealing with this, and resources, rather than just saying "see your doctor"? There are online support groups, for example, and maybe offer ways to keep the high ground and keep from being sucked into the argument. Perhaps the assurance that not choosing sides doesn't make you a bad person, no matter what which parent says

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Once again, I'm sticking with the title Maybe the editors will change it, I won't care. Well, I will, but I won't be able to do anything about it

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Yeah, right Like that ever happens.

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Maybe, but that doesn't negate the fact that they're still your parent. They could be a complete dick and still be your parent. The emotions involved don't disappear, so it doesn't mean that the decision is obvious and easy.

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I have a feeling that when that situation occurs, a divorce doesn't have to be the catalyst.

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I don't think anyone would say it'd be easier to have dead parents than loving parents who still supported their children. Maybe a better question is, would it be easier to have parents who had died or parents who'd deliberately divorced themselves from their children as well as their spouse?

Anyway, sorry for the late reply. It's been a strange few months.

How's this going? Could you add more information on what to do to solve some of the problems of being an adult child of divorce?

Kyra's moving house (country, even) at the moment, and doesn't have a new web provider and -connection yet. I'm afraid some patience will be required - but we're hoping she'll be back soon.

Fair enough