When a family is broken up by divorce, it is devastating for everyone involved, especially the children. But when parents divorce when their children are already adults, these adult children are often forgotten in the battle. Few groups exist to support adult kids of divorce¹. Their parents often treat their children more like friends, divulging information that younger children would have been protected from, and attempting to get them to choose sides.

One of the major complaints adult children of divorce have is that they are exposed to too much information. Parents can and will share information about infidelities, sexual conduct and other private information about the other parent with their adult children much more readily than they will with younger children.

Holidays can be difficult, especially if the adult child has a partner and children of their own. How do you decide who to go to for Christmas dinner? Choosing one parent over another can cause huge problems, especially if the parents are attempting to win their child's love. In the absence of supportive parents, older children often have the job of supporting younger siblings, especially those who are still living at home.

The introduction of new step-parents and -siblings is made all the more difficult when an adult child is old enough to be starting their own family, and the possible addition of half-brothers and -sisters all the more so.

Many adult children of divorce use their parents' seemingly happy and long-lasting marriage as a template for their own relationships, and then are left wondering if their own relationships or marriages will last, if their parents' marriage failed after twenty or more years. This can lead to disillusionment about the concept of marriage altogether.

Many people assume that because the adult children of divorcing parents are adults, and are usually not still living at home, they are not affected by their parents' divorce. Young children usually have many resources available to them to help them deal with their parents' divorce, but only a few fledgling groups are emerging on the internet to help adult children deal with a hugely upsetting episode in their lives. Those who are having trouble adapting to a new family dynamic should speak to someone - a sibling, friend, or counsellor - who is impartial but supportive. Divorce is hard on all members of the family, and it may be necessary to see your doctor for more specific guidance.