h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Being the older child (20) in the middle of my parents rather messy and emotional divorce there is such a conflict of emotions. Trying to remain adult and talking to both parties and attempting to understand etc etc. However this is mixed with constantly being accused of taking sides. i feel lucky that i can escape to uni to get away from the stress at home but feel guilt in leaving my younger sister in the situation.
this is probably a text book scenario...is there anyone else in a similar situation?

I know a lot of people are in a similar situation, and most people, those who haven't experienced it, don't know what it's like. So it helps to talk about it with people who do know what it feels like to be stuck 'choosing sides' or hearing about things that you shouldn't know about, or feeling like your entire childhood was a lie.

Feel free to vent here, and I'll work on getting the page organised.

Oh, and welcome to hootoo An ACE will be around to your page soon to help you get your bearings.

I see the posts on here date back a few months so not sure if anyone will pick up this email! I stuck in the middle of my parents' divorce. They were married 39 years until my dad had an affair. Its been downhill ever since. I have been accused of favouring my dad as I work for him and Ive had terrible rows with my mum who I still live at home with. Ive also been subjected to hearing things Id rather not have known particularly of a sexual nature. Its just been the worst 2 years of my life and its nowhere near over yet! I feel terrible guilt if go out and leave my mum on her own yet i know im not responsible for her happiness. My brothers are married and have their own lives so its pretty much on my shoulders and I usually bear the brunt of my mum's anger towards my dad. Anyone else out there getting this?!

Yup. I've moved on a bit since I first wrote the entry, but I had the same sort of things happen. My dad refuses to talk to me cos I took my mum's side, even though he was the one who had an affair and he was abusive. I'm now in Australia with my mum while my dad's in New Zealand by himself.

It's been a year since my mum moved here, and 4 months since I did, and things are 100x better.

I think most of the reason things are better is because I wouldn't give in to my mum's guilt trips to get me to live with her. I just told her and myself that if I did then I'd never be able to leave, I'd feel too guilty to leave her alone.

I know it's really hard, but if I were you I'd 'be cruel to be kind'. Move out, and find another job. Huge upheaval, I know, but you'd be able to help more and see things more clearly with some distance between you and your parents, and believe me, it'll feel so much better to not have that tight feeling in your chest all the time!

But I'm no expert, so feel free to ignore me or throw