h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Willow Foundation - A27578262
Author: Serephina..in attack of the killer wheelchair - U191719

It seems to be very short. Perhaps it could be made longer by looking at what similar entries on charities feature.

A few small nitpicks for now

The illness should be italicised, should it not?

<> should be Bob and Meg

<> should be fundraising

This sound familiar. Has it been in PR before?

There's an EGWW thread attached to the Entry..
F8349625?thread=4649081

How's this one going?

Serephina, are you still working on this?

Sorry, I've had tons going on and not known where my own head is

I'm just waiting from an email back from Savannah who's had a special day with Willow to see what she can add then I should be able to get on with this.

One small nitpick that Opti missed.

Last paragraph <> should read 'occasionally'.

I remember seeing them talking about this on TV.

Websailor

Websailor for picking up on the nitpick that was missed. You realise that anyone can pick up on nitpicks, I'm not the only one. It's a good job I'm not alone either.

Hi, Opti, Oh, I'm very good at nitpicking I am told but not clever enough or patient enough to do the other stuff. I just drop in when I can and if something interests me. I just wish I could see my own mistakes as easily.

Websailor

Sometimes the only way we can see our mistakes is to take a step back do something else and then re-read it with fresh eyes. I'm not sure about being clever or patient and what other stuff? I look forward to seeing more comments. Anyway back to the entry.

I feel the first sentence could do with a comma here and there and if blockquoting you do not need to use speech marks.

A blockquote should be set out like this:

insert text here - insert who said it here

Think I've caught all the nitpicks, thank everyone ..please shout of you spot anymore!

I've also added a little more

Hi, Seraphina,

You have one of my faults - rather long sentences

<>

A full stop after 'enjoy again.' followed by .. 'These treats help as an escape from the day to day pressures they experience and gives them special memories to carry in to the future.

<<>

spelling - limousine; Oh, and a capital letter for London.

Back when I have a little more time. Nice entry and a boost for a little known charity.

Websailor

How's this entry coming along?

fleamarket proposed

N8th€r

Seconded

Matt Scout

Request for removal sent