h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Both good but I prefer along

Hows the rest of it

Ooh yes, *along* is much better

Anymore work to do on the entry now, that cant be it

Some suggestions from the top then , bit by bit, as technically I am meant to be at w*rk .

Intro:

'wall built through some of the most beautiful country in Britain. '
country ==> countyside

'Located in northern Britain and built between the river Tyne and Solway Firth, and accessed by the modern roads A69 and B6318'
Something misssing, possibly sentence meant to continue with ', the wall blah blah blah.'
Or should say 'The wall, located in blah between blah, is accessed by the modern blah.

'The last two forts the first at Wallsend on the north bank of the Tyne and South Shields located on the south bank of the River Tyne at the mouth of the river.'
'The last two forts are the first' lacks sense.
HOw about: 'The last two forts are on the banks of the River Tyne, the first at Wallsend on the north bank, and the second at South Shields on the south bank at the mouth of the river.'


The Wall:

'commenced at the eastern end, set on massive foundations'
end, set ==> end. The wall was set

'Built of lime stone blocks' ==> 'It was built of lime stone blocks'

Gotta get back to w*rk now. If these first suggestions are helpful, I will pop back later and continue.

vp

lime stone => limestone

I'll try and read through it tonight, Bob.

Thanks vogonpoetry

All done,

No worries A few more suggestions:

The Emperor Hadrian - Rule 117 to 138 AD:

Publius Aelius Traianus Hadrianus born in Rome ==> ...Hadrianus was born...

...he became Emperor when Trajan died. ==> ...died in 117 AD.
Or if we know exact date, even better...

...also improved moral of the legions... ==> also improved the morale of the legions
[much harder to change morals than morale, sadly ]



Hadrian's Wall and the service roads:

The eastern end of the was served by the Wrekendike ==> ...end of the wall was...



Building Hadrian's Wall:

There is little doubt that the Romans would had preferred ==> ...would have preferred...

two major river estuaries cross the narrowest ==> ...estuaries across the...

Starting around 122 AD, at the eastern end and working towards the west the building ==> ...the west, the building...

This was to be built as the wall with the 80 mile castles8 and the turrets positioned between as look out posts and signal stations, and protected with a ditch, The ==>
This was to be built as a wall with 80 mile castles, with turrets postitioned between them, for look out posts and signal stations, and protected by a ditch. The

This made the later addition of the later filling ==> ... the latter addition of the later...


Off now, back tomorrow, vp

Thanks again all done thnks for the help.

There are a lot of problems with this at the moment, Bob. Most of it could be dealt with by the subeditor, but if you've got time it would help if you did some yourself. There are a number of occasions where you start sentences with lowercase letters, have extra words where you've changed your mind about what to write, got commas in the wrong places (after spaces and immediately before words, for example).

Also, near the beginning you say Stangate twice instead of Stanegate.

It's worth mentioning that at first the wall was whitewashed - presumably as it was more impressive to the natives on the other side that way.

I'd also mention about how for many centuries the wall has been used as a source of stone for many people in the area, which is one of the reasons so little of it remains.

Good effort, keep going at it.

Thanks I will get right on it

That's the spirit!

I have taken on board your points and had a good read through and sorted all the errors I could find. Sorry if I have missed any. I look forward to your comments.

Thanks for the interest

Bob...

Empire Germany=> This reads wrong somehow. Is this a place for a sentence break?

eastern end and working=>this is a duplication of something you've said already

latter addition of the later=>I don't understand this. It helped me a little bit later to read the definitino of mile castle later on in the article. Perhaps italicize this so it's clear that you are using a roman term, rather than just saying that it's a castle that's on a mile mark? Still, there's a construction error in here, and I just can't spot it to figure out what you mean.

it has many=>it had many It's not clear whether you mean to talk about the Wall in past tense or not seeing as how some parts of it seem to still exist, but you should be consistent throughout whichever you choose.

Sorry, I can't make head nor tails out of the The Forts section. It appears you have run on sentences and fragments all joined up together somehow, but since I don't know what you intend, I have no suggestions here.

3.5m wide? Now this is very confusing as you mention earlier that the wall varies from 2.5 to 2m wide elsewhere. Is this a numerical error, or are you talking about the foundation also being quite tall and thick?

not man it they=>not man it. They

to good=>"too good"

The Legions and Auxilliaries section doesn't say much about the auxilliaries. If nothing much is known about them, say that.

housing ,municipal=>housing, municipal

Separate the translation from the inscription, unless both English and Roman were incised into the wall. At first from reading this I thought that was the case, then I realized modern english was highly unlikely at the time it was built.

Are the only places the wall is accessible are places that are rated 4 and 5? I have learned that all of the UK is owned by somebody, is it possible to ramble to the parts that are less visible once you get permission, or do private owners hate this?

Hi
Thank you for the points I have sorted them out, I hope please advise.

The Legions and Auxilliaries section doesn't say much about the auxilliaries. If nothing much is known about them, say that.
I an writing this and will post later.


housing ,municipal=>housing, municipal (I cant find this please help)

Thanks again for the interest,

Bob...

If you can't find it, Bob, press Control and F together and it bring sup the search box. Enter the word you're looking for and click next until it comes up with it in the right place.

All sorted thanks

A26862276

orry VP I did not acknowledge your last post all sorted thank you