h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How do you know when you have an elephant in bed with you?

He has an E on his pyjamas.

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What is grey has big ears and a trunk?

A mouse going on holiday

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Old lady on phone to police on seeing an elephant (for the first time ever) in her garden.

"Hello, hello, yes, I want the police! There is a huge animal in my garden... What's it doing?" Looks out of window and runs back to phone. "It's pulling my cabbages out of the ground with its tail and I darent' say what its doing with them!"

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How does an elephant get down from a tree?

Sits on a leaf and waits till autumn.

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How do you know you've had an elephant in the fridge?

Footprints in the butter.

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Why does an elephant paint its toenails red?

So it can hide in cherry trees

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Elephant to mouse, "You're very small!"

Mouse, "I knkow, I haven't been well."

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Thanks for the extra jokes - I'll see if KimotoCat will add them.

How do you know when eleohants have been making love in your garden?
The flowers are flat and the dustbin-liners are missing.

LOL!
You mind if I add that to the list?
Do you know any more?

You add away, ol' sock! No copyright worries here!
If you get me started on Elephant jokes......well....NO! I won't even go there, I'm sure there are better ones out there somewhere!
TheOkapi

You've made me curious now... what are they?

Why do ducks have flat feet?
To put out bushfires.

Why do elephants have flat feet?
To put out burning ducks.

How do you tell when there's an elephant under your bed?
Your nose touches the ceiling.

3

JOTD: Warning - tresspassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

Almost forgot:

How do you get down off an elephant?

You don't. You get down off a duck.

3

JOTD: Warning - tresspassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

Oh right
They're cool - thanks.

http://www.h2g2.com/A427862#Elephant

I haven't finished the dictionary yet, but that page is about done.

3

JOTD: But these pills can't be habit forming; I've been taking them for years.

Thanks Jester!
Are you likely to want it added to the Joke Directory?