Small Screen Surfin'

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Hurray! Week three and Frank Skinner's Shane finally does some professional mini-cab driving. Of course this episode had to combat that bit of sense by even more pathetic innuendoes. Why do I keep watching?? Strange how TV is getting more sit-coms back on. Friday saw
Weapons of Mass Distraction in which one of the presenters is Craig Charles

I've always thought that Craig Charles'2 roles have been adequate. The EastEnders special I watched him in was decent. Ripley's Believe It or Not, although generally tacky isn't career suicide. If you're not a huge name, you get away with these kind of things. Takeshi's Castle allows those kerazy Japanese game shows to get a look in outside of Tarrant on TV. But WMD... oh how that name has more than one reason. I never expected it to be like Parkinson but some kind of 'Xtreme' Friday Night with Jonathon Ross being on at 12:00. Ohhhh noooo... this chat/variety show is what prepubescent boys secretly watch at 3:00am... on those naughty channels... for very lonely grown-ups.

Opening with four female dancers you just know 'It's going to be like that'. To complete the ensemble a guest just needed to hold up a wrench and declare he's there to fix the fridge. You get my point. The only redeeming feature of this programme is Charles' afro... It looks stoopid... Stooopid. One guest thought it a wig.

Anyway, the quality of the programme is bad and tacky. The guests included a stand-up guy
whose routine was observational comedy about rap... a Bill actress (and oh, former model
apparently. The name's not important.) deciding which of three ladies had a relationship with a
Blue (band) member 3 to a chorus of whoops and hollers, Goldfrapp, someone else and two
women who were selling their sex book.

Those two were the best mind. Their book has a section on pubic hair... along with a lovely *spit* picture of a nude man mowing his garden parading his unique ability to grow his hair long... Methinks somehow that the picture was posed, his actions being a brick-subtle double entendre. Then they showed a picture of a man and woman going all 'Discovery channel'- the female of the two complete with strap on penis. A line I never thought I would ever have to type in this column. Charles' stating 'That's illegal in most European states!' only got one of the writers to inform him that 'this is the 21st century Craig'. Of course, how prejudiced we guys must be not to have desires to 'lie' back and think of England that way. Darwin would be proud. Such a ridiculous, over-the-top, useless waste of time this programme is. Behold Yuck-and-Bonk TV at its utmost.

And the Small Screen Supplement (because you'll probably be glad there's no more than meets the eye on WMD)...

Well Daleks can fly now... apparently... rumour galore for the new Dr. Who. Of course I now
wished I hadn't told the h2g2 Who

In other news, getting British comedy icons together in one place does not guarantee
it'll be funny see The All Star Comedy Show. And there's a new Little
on the horizon, or so I'm told, but don't have the date... But from me it's:

Keep Surfin'

Small Screen Surfin'


13.05.04 Front Page

Back Issue Page

1The other Caroline Flack2Red Dwarf's Lister.3The choices consisted of Brunette Bimbo One, Blonde Bimbo
Two and Girl Who's Uncomfortable About Being On TV Never Mind Intimate Questions. Guess
who it was....

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