h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Nanites are safer, they're programmable. The hair gaining sentiency was a freak chemical accident that I doubt will ever be repeated again.

*Thunderclap*

Dang it....

*Looks round nervously, somewhat afraid of what she'll see...*

Meh. It's just forshadowing. If it doesn't happen right now, then it's probably safe to say it won't happen during this storyline.

Now, then. Which first: eyes, nanites or bone/muscle transplant?

*Grins* I like a man who can be so certain about the future...

Right. Eyes first I reckon. It'll be nice to be able to see again.

*Lies down*

*Sits up, having remembered to ask what she promised herself to ask next time someone starts tinkering with her hardware* But, hang on, what's the recovery time from this like?

Good question! Let's find out.

Seriously, though, it varies. You should be able to see just as soon as the operation ends, but there may be some soreness around the upper facial area for a few days.

Similarly, the bone transplant will cause a great deal of soreness, possibly for a week while your body adjusts to its changes.

*Lies back down*

D'you know, I strongly suspect that "let's find out" down indeed represent the most honest answer to that question I've had from a medical professional in the last few months.

Okeydokey then.

Let's find out.

*Stays lying down*

Heh-heh....heh...

"Medical professional."

Now, then...to work!

*Affy dramatically pushes a big red button. Several leg, arm, and body clamps come into place to prevent too much physical activity, and a smallish mask quickly falls into place, does something to Sol's face that stings a bit, and pulls away as a skull cap snaps up to cover the top of her head while she lies down. A computer screen flashes to life*

Sorry, should've warned you about all that....that mask issued a little facial paralysis so that you won't accidentally twitch any face or eye muscles while we're working. While this will technically prohibit speach, the skull cap is formatted to detect any "vocal thoughts" that you want to communicate, and I'll see them on the screen.

[On the screen}

OW!

Yes, that's always the first thought.

*One quick operation later, after Affy gets squeemish and calls a robot in to do all of the work, the eye transplant is finished*

*Comes out of the trance of shock of, well, generally, shock and blinks a few times happily surely startling anyone sentiant in the lab out of a light doze*

I can SEEEEEEEEE

That's one way of looking at it (no pun intended), though really it's more of an ability for your brain to interpret electronic signals that it chooses to take as "sight." No real difference, I suppose, but some people like to quibble over such semantics.

Deary me, I've just realised that I'm one of those people who is quite happy to imagine the little white mice in the TV too...

I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that reference. What's it mean?

Technology as magic sort of thing. No idea how the TV works, so it may as well be white mice running on wheels to power the thing.

Ah, I see, that makes sense.

Shall we continue, or do you want to test out the eyes for a bit?

*blinks a few times, cautiously*

Well, they seem ok. I think I'll play with the zoom function later. Nanites next wasn't it? Can they be adapted to eat excess weight?

Um...yes they CAN but I don't think that's wise. The most obvious difficulty is that the term "excess" is subjective, and when talking to a creature that weighs less than a drop of water it could get messy.

*Quickly pulls out a hypodermic syringe, and injects the nanites into her shoulder*

They'll wake up in a few hours.

*Rolls shoulders a few times experimentally*

And for their first trick they can have a go at this pain in my lower back...

*Tries to direct an encouraging glare at her shoulder*

Sad to say that their first trick may take up to an hour. They'll have to figure out where they are before they can figure out how to fix things.

An hour???!!!

*Settles a pathetic look of martyrdom over her face*