h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey Affy,

I don't think we've met. My name is Kumetanzuka, a muse and a friend of Dragonfly and Englander. The Crossed Purposes crowd has been toying with the idea of a pocket-perennial cheesecake tree, and I was informed that you might have the equipment to engineer such a tree??

You see, we've been having a problem with cheesecake thievery (I started it ) at CP, so we're looking for a way to rectify the problem, at least, whnever Dragonfly's not in the immediate vicinity.

Can you help us!!?

Lady K
~8~

Ah, now this should be fun. A cheesecake tree, that's simple. I'll just plant a cheesecake in the Narnian Soil section of my greenhouse, and we could have one in a matter of hours. But a pocket-perennial (I assume that you mean one that grows out of your pocket, but isn't there when you don't want it) will be a bit more difficult. I can do it, yes, it won't be too much of a problem, but it may take a few hours for me to really get it to a convenient design for your purposes. Would you mind waiting for a bit? We've got plenty of refreshments here.

Affy,

Not a problem! I can wait as long as necessary, as this is a rather special request. I'd actually love to look through that wonderful pile of stuff outside, if you don't mind. I'm redecorating my Personal Space, and I think I saw a few things I might like to purchase.

Ah, okay. When you're done rifling through the Discount Pile out there, I should be finished with these. Just come back in, and find either me, Garius Lupus, or our head robot Ampton. We accept most forms of payment. Glad to do buisiness with you!

*Affy heads into the bio labs to work on the trees*

*coming back in from the Pile*

Affy, I'm back! Affy? Garius? Ampton?

Well, I've come back with this fabulous minibar -- it seems you can get any drink you desire on tap... I haven't tried it but I wonder if that includes blender drinks and gargleblasters of the pan-galactic variety?

Would you accept payment in comestible form? As this will be a Crossed Purposes item, I think we can promise all the free cheesecake and chocolate milk (or , ...) you or your staff would like, as payment. What say you?

Sounds very good to me!

Did you see the drunk removal feature on that mini-bar? Just push the red button and a bouncer-droid comes out of that little door there and escorts the offending person off of the premises. Of course, if the offending person resists, the bouncer-droid simply shoots him with his snowzar, which freezes him long enough for the bouncer-droid to drag him off the premises. You have to talk very slowly and clearly to the bouncer-droid, though, because he is only equiped with low-grade intellegence. Getting him back inside the bar can sometimes be a problem, too, since he really likes his job.

And sure, you can pay like that. I mean, that's how Witty Moniker and Irving Washington payed us, right?

Wonderful! Thanks so much for your help. It's a pleasure doing business with you! I do hope you'll stop by the bar soon. But just in case you don't get the chance, here.

*pours you an extra tall from the minibar with absolutely NO head*

*Drinks the , then pours another WITH a head and drinks it, then pours another with a double head and drinks it.*

You know, I think two heads really ARE better than one. Or none.

*A robot walks by, hits a few drums and a cymbal with his drumsticks, and walks out*

I just thought I'd let you all know that the tree is a hit -- although a couple of people are a bit unused to the idea of their cheesecake coming from a tree... thanks!

Lady K
~8~

Always glad to be of service!