h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh bugger!!! GB, i hope you realise that when i said 'the last thread was written by an idiot', i meant me, not you! You jumped in while i was typing mine up!!

LOL... no worries. I've been called worse. In fact, in that forum from my article that you mentioned, there are repeated attacks on my intelligence, my sanity, and my parentage.

Put an atheist and a x-tian together in one forum and within minutes it will take ages to load. The size of non-believers' postings are amazing! GB wins - you've been the "most erudit" poster on h2g2 very often - especially these past few days. Your average length of posting is 1131 words! Probably outweighing the entry you posted it on. Billypilgrim, AA, Lil and I are all in the most erudit posters as well. There is a definate patern here. Or maybe it's because we're all longwinded .

Since there's a separate category for length of posting, I'm at a loss as to how they are measuring erudition. Word size? That's let's in a lot of puffery. If I'm up there in those stellat latitudes it's because I sat down in the sitting room of Agony Aunt yesterday and told a long story about the origins of my virtual horse Ferrari.

I would love to make the top 10 most recondite postings. Now there's a distinction!

The most fun I've had of late in re Christianity is being on one of Gold Almighty's threads. He's a Terry Pratchett sort of God, prone to getting drunk on weekends, and he really does go on a bit, but nobody gets damned.

These others, well... It might be bad for my blood pressure to get involved, let alone wait for such threads to download only to discover that I've been made angry by nonsense.

I got damned!! And I am sooooo proud of it.

I seem to be at least on the top ten in erudition on a regular basis, but this morning I noticed that 5 of the top ten were Foundation members. Coincidence? I think not...

As far as I can tell, they measure posting length in number of characters. Erudite posters are classified as those who maintain a high average number of characters per post, but I think there's a 5 post minimum on it. So if someone wanted to cheat, they could simply hold down the same key for 5000 characters. I think its stuff like this that has motivated the PTB to keep their stats ticker as a resource for the privileged few, especially since those who have access to it (ACEs and subs) are working pretty hard to make this place what it is.

The reason I'm always near the top is because I love a good argument. Right now I'm heavily involved in one that argues capitalism and socialism. As you can see in my posts to 'Failure of Xtianity...", I tend to get long-winded in an argument.

You got damned by God Almighty? _Our_ God Almighty? What did you say?

I hadn't participated in a determined way until I applied to be a sub, and since I've become one I have grown even more involved. But I have also had dire problems in getting on to the site and staying on with collect timeouts or Error 404 messages. And it's that access problem that has made me shy of very long threads, threads where I might have flourished in erudition.

So now I stay on longer, late at night -- which is also a good time for accomplishing subbing jobs, as well as exploring "corners" of the servers' hard drives, where eldritch fora lurk (shooting for that recondite position )...

Boring old me goes back to a topic that died many posts back...
Zenmondo, I find that my problem is with British teenage -chicks-. They are pretty much all cliches...crap music tastes, bizarre lingo, flinging with the lonely tennage boys etc. And it seems almost all of the tennagers have that horrid cross thing on the end of their name.

Incidently, my friend Ed Hunter is making a list of 'six hundred and sixty six' in as many languages as possible. Suppose I'd better get a link...

Finally, if you put me in a no-holds-barred-type argument with an xtian, you'd have a corpse on your hands. They'd probably piss me off so much I'd let rip with as much nastiness as is possible...not boasting, tis true.

Eh? What's this list i'm on? My posts are never very long. Not understanding am I (sorry - went a bit Yoda there).

As i said before, i've seen some posts that are absolutely huge, certainly on 'reply from a christian'. I hardly ever write posts like that.

I got damned by H2G2's very own God Almighty.

I kept noticing a lot of action at God's confessional, and after repeated fly-bys, I could resist no longer, so I confessed. It wasn't long winded, it wasn't embittered, and it wasn't confrontational, except for the part where I asked to be sent to hell, to be spared his worshippers. The I followed that up with one of my favorite Twain quotes:

"When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know have gone to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life."

God then hunted me down here at the Foundation and damned me to eternal hellfire. It's over there in the pane to your left, entitled "Alright, I'm taking down names..."

This has nothing to do with the conversation, but it is pretty funny. The Spark has this thing called AskJesus where you can type in any URL and have it 'Jesusified'. It is really funny, and it worked really well with the Foundation page.

http://askjesus.org

GreyRose, who is proud to be a member of the 'Damn' Freedom From Faith Foundation

And, no I don't work for the Spark.

Wonderful! I feel *much* better now. Since I am pretty naturalistic in how I post online, I often forget that many of the verbal and nonverbal cues do not get translated at all into this medium. Just for the record, I am not a typical Ameri-centric American who can't see past his own nose and wonders why the whole damn world doesn't speak English. I have lived and worked abroad (specificly, Amsterdam, the Netherlands (the company I worked for was run by British folk at that!)) and know the stereotypes about Americans, and do my damnest to not live up (down?) to them (except for eating too much food from "McDonalds"). Though I'm pretty self-effacing about it. I used to demonstrate my fluency in Dutch by saying, "Mak ik een Big Mac ausubleift." I also would tell this joke:

"What do you call someone who speaks 3 languages?"

"Trilingual"

"What do you call someone who speaks 2 languages?"

"Bilingual"

"What do you call someon who speaks 1 language?"

"American"


So when it comes to ZenMondo, when I am trying to be offensive, it should be pretty obvious. If there is a question about my intent, I most likely did not mean to offend.

Ok! On with the games! My next post will be lambasting something of a religious nature, I promise!

-- ZenMondo

Ah, it is so nice to have the forum peaceful again...
That site was great, I used it on my home page, and my computer locked up because of all the changing colors.... To much for my slow processor.
But anyways, back to my point.. well, I guess I already stated my point... So i'll just retreat now and hide for a while

Eh? I don't get that Ask Jesus thing. What am I meant to do?

Ask something that doesn't really exist to 'Bless' your page.

I don't know whether I want something that doesn't exist to know where my home page is.

Though not an atheist, I have become completly enamoured with the idea of Darwin the Ferret. I'm curious as to when he scuries down the chimney though. If I could have a vote, I would say that it should be on the evening of Dec 21. That way the athiest kids can have a winter holiday to brag about at school.

I was at a pet store today, looking for supplies for my recently aquired rodents (two rats, named Musashi and Kojiro) and I saw for only $1.50 a Ferret doll with a "Santa" type hat. I instantly recognized this as Darwin, even if his name tag says his name is "Holiday Rocket", I know its *really* Darwin. SO, any objections at portraying Darwin with a Santa Cap? Its pretty secular IMO, though I guess you can argue that the Santa Cap is actually a Bishop's Mitre, but if you don't tell anyone, I wont (besides, I am certain there have been many godless bishops).

-- ZenMondo

You just type in any URL you want and it puts pictures of Jesus with hamburgers and stuff on your page (not really, your page stays the same) and changes a lot of the words and plays music like Viva Los Vegas.

It's not a serious christian thing.

I'm glad you like him.

When I made up Darwin the Ferret, I decided his day would be on the autumnal equinox, because there's nothing else fun happening then. I figured there are enough secular and pagan elements in the xmas holiday that we can still enjoy it, with the side benefit that we don't have to spend the previous night and following day in church.

Of course, I haven't trademarked him or anything yet, so feel free to represent him however you choose.

Oh, crap. Spin magazine ran an article on this disturbing bunch who are attempting to subvert the youth of today...

http://www.teenmania.org

At this site, watch as many teeners stumble over the English language in an attempt to genuflect to God and Jesus first...

All the same tired arguements too. You can sign on as a guest, but unless you're registered, you can't do any devotionals. Damn.

-jb

oops. That should be this:

http://www.teenmania.org/daily/index.cfm

which will take you directly to the inanity.

-jb