h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Wit ....I lovvit!

Hey, if no-one says anything then how can I? This place is a bit above my level of thiking as it is!

I have an interesting and funny link to put up here, that has (marginally) to do with the pope being a 'w****r' as GB called him. I'll try and get it up here tonight.

OK, here it is

http://match.thespark.com/

Take the love test, I promise it mentions the pope. It even has a nice big picture of him at the end.

And, I feel that I should mention that this is for mature audiences. Wait, should I even put it up here?

I did all the questions and got to the sign-up bit. I thought "what the hell am I signing up for?" So I didn't.
Am I missing anything?

I signed in with a fake email address, just to see what the result was. Not really worth my time, to tell the truth, and then I got sucked into a sales pitch for their DSL service in the guise of a telecom survey. I lied wholeheartedly on part of it, until I got just plain bored.

I signed in with a fake email address, just to see what the result was. Not really worth my time, to tell the truth, and then I got sucked into a sales pitch for their DSL service in the guise of a telecom survey. I lied wholeheartedly on part of it, until I got just plain bored. But then, that should be no suprise, since I scored a 1 out of 10 on morality.

That was fun! I'm 75% Love and 25% Lust. Hmmm... *evil grin* *confused frown*

I may be stupid, but I don't know what DSL stands for.

Well, if you didn't finish the test, I'll just tell you that according to popular opinion (at least of the people who took the test) the pope masterbates. I personally think that he does too.

Wow, sort of a neat test, but it doesn't make me feel any better about my self
*sulks thinking of happier times*

Don't sulk. We all have happier times we wish we could get back.

You're friends with jb, right? Well, any friend of jb's is a friend of mine.

GreyRose: DSL stands for Digital Subscriber Line = Fast, very cool internet access. On Friday I'm getting ADSL. It may not be the amazing 9mbps US one but even 115kbps is good for the UK and the best thing is that it's always on! I'll be on h2g2 even more

You can't possibly be stupid... you're Atheist!

The other cool thing about DSL is that it doesn't tie up your phone line, so you can still stay connected to the real world while you waste your life away in here. You pay for it, though. A DSL connection generally costs around $40, compared to a standard dial-up rate of $20. Then of course, you could always get cable...

Thanks you guys!

Mr Cynic,

(Not that this is in any way related to Religion, but...) who are you getting the ADSL service from? I didn't think it was going to be available until May/June. Obviously I know nothing.

I was hoping to get it as well - that way I'll hopefully set up my own web server at home - if I get the time.

Anyone who's visited my homepage here has probably noticed that I haven't bothered to update it since i joined a few months ago. Time is not a luxury I currently possess!

Anyway...err....Pope masturbating....I used to know a joke about that....

The ADSL service may seem petty to you yanks so please don't ridicule our useless ISPs . It costs 20quid a month (unlimited usage) and actually offers a permanent IP address! I don't know if they allow web servers - I don't think they even know! It's called HomeChoice (owned by VideoNetworks) and they currently only operate in North London. They will be expanding but don't expect anything soon.

No way does the Pope w**k! If he tried that he'd have a bloody heart attack! He's incapable of anything of that sort. It'd be like an excorsism...

Hey, i'm a Brit!! And I don't live _that_ far from North London (30 miles or so)

Anyway, I couldn't find/remember that Pope w*****g joke, but here's a couple of pope jokes that I thought were quite funny.

>>A shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that >>the Pope was on the same flight. "This is exciting," thought the >>gentleman. I've always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I'll >>be able to see him in person. Imagine his surprise when the Pope >>sat down in the seat next to him for the flight. Still, the >>gentleman was too shy to speak to the Pontiff.
>>
>>Shortly after take-off, the Pope began a crossword puzzle. This is >>fantastic, thought the gentleman. I'm really good at crosswords. >>Perhaps, if the Pope gets stuck, he'll ask me for assistance.
>>
>>Almost immediately, the Pope turned to the gentleman and >>said, "Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a >>woman that ends in 'unt'?"
>>
>>Only one word leapt to mind. "My goodness," thought the >>gentleman, "I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another." >>The gentleman thought for quite a while, then it hit him. Turning >>to the pope, the gentleman said, "I think you're looking for the >>word 'aunt'."
>>
>>"Of course," said the Pope. "Do you have an eraser?"

---------------------------------------------------------------

>>An American businessman was in Rome, and with only a few days >>remaining
>>in his trip, he decided he wanted to see the Pope. He went to the
>>Vatican, and waited in line for a long time. Finally the Pope >>emerged
>>and proceeded down the line.
>>
>>The businessman was wearing his finest Armani suit and Italian >>leather
>>shoes, and was hoping that the Pope would notice him. To his
>>disappointment, however, the Pope went straight past him without so >>much
>>as a glance.
>>
>>The businessman was even further dismayed when a few metres further >>down
>>the line, the Pope stopped in front of a decrepit local tramp, leant
>>forward and said a few words into the tramp's ear. Straight >>afterwards
>>the businessman went up to the tramp, and offered to trade his >>Armani
>>suit for the tramp's shabby outfit. The tramp readily agreed.
>>
>>The next day the businessman went back to the Vatican wearing the
>>tramp's gear, and to all appearances looking (and smelling) like a
>>homeless bum. He waited in the line again until the Pope emerged >>and
>>proceeded down the line.
>>
>>This time the Pope noticed him immediately, came straight towards >>him,
>>leant forward and whispered in his ear, "I thought I told you to >>piss off"


Sorry if you've heard them before, or if you hadn't but thought they were rubbish.

AA

Those are good. I don't know any pope jokes.

hey, those are great, I haven't heard a great pope joke in a while.