h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

<Considering my beloved is a werewolf and Anth is having Werecubs I'd start running*

*Both the price and the construction of the book shock Avatar.*

WHAT?!! 21,700 pieces of gold! Setting aside the fact that the guild has at least four members who are werewolves who would likely try to kill me if they saw me with a book like that, that price is outrageous!!! Do you have anything that is less potentially offensive and a bit cheaper?

[Timmy] You could read it here without buying it, and I believe that the cover is imitation wolf skin.

*Avatar thinks this over for a few minutes.*

Hmmm... I think I'll just buy the parchments, ink, and pen and go and see if the guild library has anything. So, how much do I owe you?

[Timmy] Seven silver. Please come again.

*Avatar gives pays Timmy, puts the stuff he bought into his satchel, and walks out of the Daft Chef.*

Thank you, I will.

*Polonius leads Avatar into the shop and then into the back room where the magic books are kept*

Avatar looks around the room and then back at Polonius.*

So, how exactly do you plan to refocus the scroll?

You say you were able to undertand it when you unfurled it. What we do is have you as a messenger bring the re-sealed scroll to Patricia at Oane, where I believe she is living. We say that the Queenship is rightfully hers. She'll open the scroll, it'll focus on her, then you snatch it away, all the while keeping it open and sing it to her. Of course, you'll sing about her being the new official queen of Imardin. Then we'll simply suck you back here using Degrom's portal-forming abilities.

What?! You want me to just waltz down to Oane right up to that woman's door, give her the scroll, lie to her, then snatch the scroll back and sing to her? Polonius, just because I'm immortal doesn't mean that I'm tired of life!!!

*After this outburst Avatar calms down and begins to analyze what Polonius is proposing.*

How do we even know that the scroll will lose its focus on me when it is resealed let alone refocus on her if she reopens it? Assuming that is, that she doesn't realize what I am the moment she opens the door. Besides, won't she be suspicious when she learns that the Guild is supposedly handing over the throne to her, a known enemy of the Guild?

*He thinks a bit more.*

For this to have a hope of working we're going to need a very good illusionist to disguise me, and hopefully find a way to subtlely alter her mind so that she isn't too suspicious. But, if we can get the right people and if Degrom can come through, then it just might work.

To alter her mind, we have this *takes bottle from rack* little number I made for Lord Lycan, the Scent of Trust. Wearing this, whoever can small you will imediatly believe everything you say, even if you say their mother was a turnip!
Seal the scroll with the wax on the desk and let me open it to see if it works for me.

*Avatar seals the scroll and places it on the desk.*

I hope this works.

*Polonius approaches the scroll and takes a deep breath*

*he reaches out, lifts the scroll and breaks the seal*

*he unfurles the paper and reads*

It's all gibberish.

*the words on the scroll rearrange to say: Polonius approached the scroll and took a deep breath. He reached out to grasp the scroll, noticing that it had been sealed several times before. Breaking Avatar's seal, he unfurled the paper and began to read, but saw only gibberish. Then all became clear...*