h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*throws sarah and Jenny overboard* not if it means ruining the agenda of trying to tax cows for the methane they produce!

no jenny u just didnt see them in class yesterday! you were too busy being nasty to me! emily smells! * kicks her in the shins and she starts crying like a baby*

I'm, not crying. And pst...I', JENNY. Sarah, I wasn't being mean to you, I was being mean to Allira. Now darn well grab my hand so I can pull you back up and you can be my evil minion in my mutiny plans.

Yar! I not be liking this mutiny! *me cuts off Jenny's hand* Thar you go. A coupon at the hook hand store.

*magically heals her hand back on*

Mutiny!!!! I'm joinning you jenny!!!

Yar! This be a sad day indeed for those at the hook store.

ARRRRR!!! Attack all supporters of me mutiny!!

Psst. There's supposed to be alot o' you who are opposed to sock stealing and random overboard-throwing and such activities! And all who are opposed to patronizing hook stores can join too!

Not very piratey but... *me pulls out a minigun* Hallo!

*pulls out a minigun diruptor which deactivates his minigun* arr I'm the high tech magic pirat

Josh, there's no 'i' in prat...also I don't think Jesse Ventura will like you disrupting his minigun

...

Besides, theres no such thing as an minigun disruptor. Except for a bigger minigun, but that gets you into the territory of a mediumgun and you can't carry one of those unless you're a inuit shaman who's a member of special operations unit Foxhound.

all a mini-gun disruptor is is a cartoon finger stuck in the end of the gun

You realize that a minigun has about six barrels? That rotate. Before shooting.

*gets a minigun disrupter pro x with 6 fingers

... Right. *me stabs the real you in the head with a harpoon and then shoots you with the minigun for good measure. And then shoots you with a rocket launcher in order to convey the benefits of beating a dead horse*

to bad the harpoon bounced of my steel helmet and the minigun backfired making the rockets blow up in your face

should have took the minigun disrupter pro x out of the minigun

Now, if that happened I'd be dead, yes? And I'm not dead, yes? Therefore, you're dead. Despite your odd habit of talking. I can therefore conclude that a.) I'm awesome, b.) your steel helmet was made of paper mache, and c.) buy low, sell high.

hey ec guees what?(oh and it was the real me but I have hp)curaga

ok this time rea;;y guees what there is some girl who thinks she is more evil then you and has a pet evil cat who she also thinks is more evil then you and she wants to take over the evil army