h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My mother had a toy poodle called Sandy. When he came in from the garden he would lie on his back so my mother could wipe his dirty paws before he trotted through the house. When he had to have eardrops from the vet, my father would get the dropper out, as Sandy threw himself onto his side and flopped his long ear over his head, to expose the inner cavity so my father could get the dropper in. Every day of his life Sandy and my father went to the local pub, where they had couple of pints each, and then wandered home again.
When Sandy finally died aged fiveteen, my father gave up drinking. He said it wasn't the same anymore.