h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That's Morgan, one larger than usual (oh ok then, he's huge) Welsh springer spaniel who is completely soppy, and as long as you're not a black toy poodle, the friendliest creature you could meet.

He likes to think he's brave but he has yet to convince us. One of his favorite pass times when out walking is chasing the local wildlife. Squirrels have had him confused for a long time because they just disappear when he thinks he's got them cornered against a handy tree.

Whilst out one day last year he saw a fox slinking across the field at the edge of the wood. Off he shot in hot pursuit. From the reports of the incident I'm guessing that it was an old fox because instead of running it crouched down, made itself look as large as possible with its tail puffed up, and stayed still snarling and ready to attack.

Morgan got to within six feet of the Mr fox and stopped. What was he supposed to do now? He circled round keeping a reasonable distance between himself and the creature so that he had a head start if he needed to run. Nothing happened, so he stopped a bit longer and had a go at staring the creature out. Still no response, except a lot of swearing, cursing and yapping from the fox.

He then decided there was no point staying to play with such an uncooperative chap, and back he trotted to the parents looking slightly sheepish, with tail going as if to say "See, I told him to stay away and he listened, aren't I wonderful."

Soppy idiot!