h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Oxford Bops - Oxford University - A2420984
Author: Zophiel - U653005

err, am wondering why this hasn't gone up as "edited" yet being as it was written a good while ago?

It seems from the original PR thread that people assumed you'd 'left the building', as you hadn't posted anything to H2G2 for a few months.

When you make changes to an Entry, you need to come back to the PR thread and let people know - most people won't automatically go back to the Entry on the off-chance that you've updated it.

Good luck second time round!

(For anyone interested, the original PR thread is at F1769084?thread=396795)



PS. I'm glad Oxford bops sound just as bad as Cambridge ones

Looking good and reads well, I'll pop back later for another look!

Good luck with this attempt and remember the more you update this thread the higher up the PR list this comes!!!

speller

Well, it reads as the average party. Perhaps you can invite me, sometime. I really would like to have a good look at those smart-asses.
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Branding and Ginger Ale, is that drinkable?

Personally, the fact that the footnotes are almost as long as the entry itself is an issue for me. Do you think you could work some of that information into the entry instead?

Great. As is tabbed browsing, Firefox is pure genius.

Footnotes as long as the article, yes I know but they do contain details of even more irrelevance than the article itself. I suppose I could reduce them. hmm.


Well brandy and ginger ale is drinkable when mixed correctly, and when offset my eating something strong like cheese and pickle to mask the taste.

Why do people find long footnotes objectionable? They should consult the Whole Earth Catalog, which had a complete novel incorporated in side panels, or Flann O'Brien's masterpiece The Third Policeman which had a complete sub-plot about the strange sage De Selby entirely told in a series of footnotes. For me footnotes can't be too long.


But as a non-Oxford . . . ist, please tell me what is the difference between townies and locals?

hmmm, townies vs. locals, good question, must be my geographer's training to include two descriptions where one would have been sufficent in an attempt to add gravitas to the preceedings.

well, townies I think are perhaps not as well defined as I thought.
For me the term is derogatory and describes the undesirable types who are of poor conduct, feel the need to mimic supposedly "ghetto" fashions and lingo, and are never seen out without their Nike baseball hats.

Clear the boundary between this group and those who find spending their evening "Kevving" or "Trevving" around the streets rewarding (driving aimlessly around in their souped-up, lowered, neon underlit, bodyskirted, bass-box booming cars, often Renualt 5 or similar) is somewhat vague.

The Kevver's, once separted from their machines, are usually clad in white chinos, Ben Sherman shirts and shoes with buckles for the boys, and for the girls, well anything short - often the least possible.

These types can be found, I gather, in such establishments as:
Yates' - a horrendous chain pub selling own brand everything
O'Neils - fake irish, and often overpriced bar, the kind of place any IRA man would blow up without a moments notice.
The Wig and Pen - an Oxford special, yuk!
The Goose - Whetherspoons, a soul-less chain
Old Orleans
Rendevous - never been there never want to.
Bar Med
Bar Risa - aka. "have you got it in yet?" to a couple getting "intimate" on the dance floor, eeeyyuuuuwwwww.


However I think that, "Townie", in an Oxford setting, reflects the wider populus of non-student, non-academic, regarded elsewhere as locals, or townsfolk.
Hence my use of "townies or locals".

Thank you I suppose I'm wiser now . . .

I find whiskey and ginger ale the best thing to stave off seasickness by the way. No doubt it's the ginger, but the whiskey helps deliver it.

I didn't get in to Lincoln College - boo..

Thoughts:

You don't need the bit in bold at the top.
Perhaps some average prices of various drinks?

Good job.

hmm, good idea I shall do that.

Lincoln hey? well there are other places.
Oh and in case you were worrying (rather ahead of time), an Oxford degree makes getting a job no easier whatsoever. Well, not at the moment anyhow.

Z

Thanks. I got an AAB offer for York, so hopefully I'll be going there.

Still working on this one, Z? I see some of the stuff suggested above hasn't been done yet.

any progress ?

errr, well I'm kinda happy with it as it is to be honest.

Putting in prices would just mean that it goes out of date after a few years, so I'm not doing that.
Further explanation of what or who "townies" are would lengthen the already fairly lengthy footnotes.
Taking material from the footnotes and placing it in the text, I think, would upset the rhythm of the narrative - missing them out all together would lead to more confusion.

Suggestions always welcome of course.

Z

I think you may need to be a little more willing to work with the suggestions here. It's okay to disagree with some of them (and I agree with you about the prices, although some time it can work to word it as a comparison 'at a little less than the price of a film ticket'), but when you disagree with all of them, it often prevents the entry from moving anywhere.

At this point, I simply would not be willing to pick this entry because of the issue with the length of the footnotes relative to the text. If I was given this entry to edit as a sub-editor, I would end up changing it so much that it was more my writing than yours, which is an excellent sign that it's simply not ready to be picked.

If you really don't want to make any changes, you always have the option of withdrawing the entry from Peer Review. Your entry would still be part of the guide as a whole, and show up when people searched for it, and you wouldn't have us people heckling you to bring it up to the standards of the Edited Guide.

It's your call.

Actually, I guess you're right about the prices.

One more suggestioj - the title feels a little bit unwieldy to me, how about "Oxford University Bops"?

Woah, typo! *suggestion*

The bit about "townies" could go in the "narrative", if you like - it doesn't have to be one long, continuous "narrative", though: you can break it up into sections, and that way include some of the footnote bits, grouped under different headers. Worth a try?

Zophiel

I still like this entry and would like to see a little explaining Townies/locals added to complete it.

What do you say??

Speller