h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I just love the content of this piece, but I truly feel that the intro could benefit from some additional thought and work. Allow me to make some suggestions:

[A film cliche could be defined as a hackneyed and unimaginative device stagnating the celluloid art form and betraying a dearth of inspiration or talent of any kind on the part of the creators. On the other hand, as anyone venturing into a cinema of late will testify, current screenwriters instead view cliches as useful, reliable standards that have been tried and tested and proven to work. And, to quote another cliche, if it isn't broken, don't fix it. We salute them for their brave crusade in the war against independent thought.]

The film cliche is everything stated here. I might have added:
On the other hand, as anyone venturing into a cinema of late will testify, current screenwriters instead view cliches as useful, reliable standards that have been tried and tested and proven to work (in other words, they admit not to being unimaginative, just lazy).

[... my own Top Three personal favourites would have to be:]

I'd like to see this in the EG, so the "... my" may need to be re-written. Perhaps just "Three perennial favourites are:"

I agree with #1, but #2 is a special case. I suppose that any character sitting bolt upright during a nightmare might be called cliche, but it is based more on the experience most people have had at one time or another; in other words, realistic. If the facing the camera is the problem, that isn't the writer it's the director. And that shot is designed for effect, to put the viewer in the same shocked state as the character experiencing the nightmare.

It's much harder to see a simple shot like this made out to be a cliche than overused dialogue. There are only so many angles from which to shoot it, and only a few make sense.

I have to agree with #3, even though it is pretty natural to look in the direction of the last place you heard the voice; even if it does put me in mind of the time my brother burnt his mouth on a spicy scallion and immediately plunged it into his glass of milk; natural, but not terribly useful.

[Instead, I'll concentrate on those fossilized and surreal lines of "real" dialogue that simply won't go away. A handy, popcorn-friendly at-a-glance guide, based on some recent filmgoers' postings to H2G2, to accompany you on your next visit to the cinema or video rental emporium. Tick each one off as appropriate. Here, then, is how to speak if you find yourself on the wrong side of the camera. Whether you've read the script or not.]

You might add that one could throw in the DVD and make a drinking game from the list!

Intro updated, Fords. Thank you for the pointers

I like the alien speak ones :D

It's really funny, well done :D

I had to serch some words on google 'coz i didn't know what they meant, lol. Like 'uncanny' and 'perinials' XD

Anyways it was really good, and so true, lol.

*ties to think of something more to say. Thinking, thinking, thinking, dies*

Glad you enjoyed it

Sorry, my writing style is abit... flamboyant.

Personally, I have to say thatAlien-Speak is my least favorite section. i much prefer villain and scientist.


Never had anyone die on me before. Will you be all right?

Only just found this!An amazing piece of work,well done!You must have sat thru' hours and hours of mind numbing film ,to garner so much information!
A lot of time watching "The Bill"?! You've earned these!

I'm afraid I really can't take a lot of credit for this. I picked it up from the <./>FleaMarket</.>, touched it up a bit and added a very few nuggets of my own. The real credit should go to Dillon, who must have been the one whose brain got fried. Which is probably why he's not around any more

But anyway, thanks for looking. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I'm sur eDillon would be too