h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Counts up number of seats in station, realises they ran out a long time ago and gives up*

Alright then, room for one more. And there really is no more room as there are only three mics!

THREE mics? How are we going to pretend we're the four horsemen of the apocalypse? and the other one - hospital food yeah that's him.

Well, there's four - presenter's, guest, con a and b

Death, Famine, Pestilence and Ringo?

Sorry, I detect some sort of plot to split the meet here. If that's what you're doing just say so.

No, it's an idea that's been mooted about off-site.

It is ok, I can meet up again with you later.

I will email you my mobile number Fords if that is ok and you can tell me where you are. (I will get the addy of the aceforum if that is ok with you)

We could always all move to Carnaby Street or whatever then take it from there. Besides what's the difference between that and people going to Burger King in the middle of a good drinking session?

Sure thing. Use my blueyonder one - I unsubscribed from the Aceforum ages ago and didn't get round to re-subscribing

Some of you I was actually looking forward to meeting again. Now I discover you've been plotting to split the meet. Well, guys, better get round to the main page and tell everyone what your little clique is up to.

What you mean you have been missing out on my grumpy emails???

A plot! The evil ones plan to sneak away from the meet and do something else for a while! Guards, the drawbridge! Nobody leaves!

You're really paranoid aren't you? If nobody wants to go see the station that's fine by me, I won't take any offence, but I can't take everyone in because there just isn't space.

Zagreb, me, you and your special guest can have our own meet up

I have, Mort - but I enjoy your Sub-ed ones

Well, there's been talk of "losing our friends", Mort referred to being "left alone" all this talk of "mooted off site". Sorry, folks. I can't go to this radio thing for personal reasons I'm sure you all know about but I can't help but read something else into this.

Mort - this is an h2g2 meet. It shouldn't be split up like this. People leaving for something is one thing. Permanently splitting the meet is quite another.

Checks his emails. Well my email co-plotters must be disguising their plans as ads for Viagra and Noni Juice. The cunning b#@$%^*s

I have a suggestion for you. Start reading the backlog. Stop reading into things literally. The "losing our friends" comment was because of the carry on and general arse-making that will inevitably ensue.

I understood that this was only going to take an hour or two, and we'd spend the rest of the meet in the pub with everyone else. Obviously I'm wrong and we should all spend the entire day sitting in the pub en masse, watching everyone else intently to make sure there isn't some kind of plot going on.