h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This is the first entry. It is getting boring down here under the ocean. I have only been able to create a life bubble to contain myself so far. If only I had more people to come here . . .
~ Something Witty

Something Witty, what you need is a water-gun.

Get one here http://www.h2g2.com/A225532

I agree with your underwater plans. Then things like this wouldn't happen

Mars Polar Lander cost $165 million. NASA has been waiting for it to "Phone Home". So far, no dice. It's been silent. So it was really wild when we got the following message on my answering machine.

"THIS IS MARS LANDER. REPORTING FROM MARS...... PICK UP THE PHONE. I KNOW YOU'RE THERE. PICK IT UP. PICK UP TH –

MAYBE YOU'RE NOT THERE. HERE IS MY REPORT ON MARS.

BOR-RING. I'M SORRY, BUT SOIL COMPOSITION IS NOT MY IDEA OF A GOOD TIME... BET YOU'RE DYING TO KNOW IF THERE'S WATER ON MARS. LET'S SEE. THERE'S A TV REMOTE, A 24-HOUR BUFFET, AND A BEACH BOYS CONCERT TONIGHT.

BUT NO WATER. HAHAHA HA HA HA.

OK. GOTTA GO. SORRY I DIDN'T CALL SOONER. GIVE EVERYONE A KISS AT NASA FOR ME. SEND MONEY. BYEEEEE!!!"

Yes. That is very true. Exactly the problem. Good thing you joined me down here. The clear air tight bubble has enough space for 2 now. More people must come!

12/12/99 20:26:42
Investigating possibility of sending a robot out to get samples at 567,876,576,386 feet.

12/12/99 22:42:56
Robot Blueprints created.
/----\----< <----> /============l^^^^l II l------------l
\----/---< >--< \============/
/OOOO\ /\ OOOOOOOOOOOO

More members needed for extra support.
Grant application Submitted.

*drags in tray with underwater-livesupport-food* you don't have a cook/marine biologist already?
I admit, most of my marine biology studies went like that:
"This is this , it lives there, does that and tastes especially well when fried with garlic"

I don't know what to do.

PERFECT! We always wanted a marine biologist/cook down here! I was getting very hungry and I wondered if I would have to go all the way back to town when we needed surplies. Either that or I eat my instruments. Now I suppose that some at supper would be just fine.
--
Captains log 12/13/99 6:34:23
We have gained two people. A marine biologist/cook that can prepare a dany fish supper, and my assistant Loony, Loonytunes. There is no more time to waste! We will close the doors on the 31st and only admit anyone who applies. Our plans for the robot
|
/| |
/
Were unable to continue because of lack of staff. The grant was cancelled and will be checked again on the 18th of December. Those dumb leaders . . . never understand something unless it has to do with space . . .

*walks to a side wall with an armload of plasteel and begins to ad on to the bubble*

We now have enough room for 10 people, 3 of which are already here.

Blueblttole! You came! I am honored to have you here. If you can't find anyhing to make yourself usefull with, you might consider being head plumber (I don't mean you plumb heads, whatever that might consist of, I mean you are the chief plumber. Not to mention the only one.) or shark trainer.

The robot looks like this:

=|=
/|/
The format that h2g2 put it in on my message messed it up.

The robot is not going to work in this forum, so I'll put a pic of him on my page at about 6:00 tonight American Eastern time

I know - it mucks up my ASCII art all the time

*quickly welds additional parts onto robot*
*sends robot out to harvest *
*prepares garlic marinade *

YUM! Garilc marinade! My favorite! And it's sooooo fresh . . .




-<> -

YUM! Garilc marinade! My favorite! And it's sooooo fresh . . .




--

Dejavu: The experience that you're experiancing something you've expeirienced before.

Dejavu: The experience that you're experiancing something you've expeirienced before.

I've had experiences like that.

I've had experiences like that.