h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Was his cock sticking up out of the coffin?

Let me repeat, once again: nothing unusual about the funeral itself. And no chickens, male or female, were sacrificed either.

I haven't been butting in, because I know this and preferred it let it roll for everyone else - but I can't help thinking the truth will come as an anti-climax after some of the ideas developing here.

Not when, in the very end, I post a certain link... what could possibly beat that?

I keep thinking Peter Ustinov, but now I've started wondering if he's dead... I do hope so if they've buried him.

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orson wells

Neither Ustinov nor Welles (who wasn't European). The person isn't all that important, because he's probably not well known outside of this birth country and the one where he died.

The question is simply: what was he trying to avoid??

Was he an atheist and he didn't want any religous connotations to his funeral.

"What was he trying to avoid?"

A eulogy, because he thought no one could do him justice.

TRiG.

Nothing to do with religion.

I'll give you another big hint: he wanted to avoid something that had actually happened at the recent funeral of another celebrity, a murdered fashion designer.

Souvenier hunters ?

Paying for the funeral ?

No, none of the above.

he didnt want his family getting into the lime light for being related to a dead star

who was donnatella versace before her brother died??? then she was all over every magazine!!!

Nope. How would that have been a joke, anyway?

Versace's funeral was controversial not only because of the wall to wall weeping celebrities but also because it was held in a cathedral after he had been cremated, and according to the Roman Catholic Church, a funeral can only take place before cremation.

The fashion designer in question was not Gianni Versace, but some bloke named Rudi Moshammer, from Munich. But this is not really important for the question:

What reason did a certain comedian state for excluding most people from his otherwise perfectly normal funeral???

paranoia

"nobody realy likes me anyway"

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Well, I suppose it had a certain element of paranoia to it... but he was very well liked, and he knew it.

He was scared of being bitten by a werewolf and being brought back to life.

Scraping the bottom of the barrel now? But the werewolf is actually a tiny step in the right direction...