h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

These are a series of dank, stone corridors, lit by grey torches. They are filled with rows upon rows of cells, some of which are empty, and some of which contain prisoners of various types -- all of whom the Merovingian find too important to destroy, and two inconvenient to have running around where he can't control them.

[Cain, Abel, and the Merovingian bring the Keymaker to a cell filled with keys. They close the cell door.]

[Merovingian] You will find I lack ze virtues of both tolerance and patience. [smirks coldly] Au travail.

[Oh, and exeunt Merv, Cain, and Abel. ]

[And now Skullock is dragged into a cell at, basically, the deepest depths of the dungeon by Cain and Abel.]

*appears at the far end of the corridor calmly loading a Heckler and Koch with some special rounds *

*Wakes up.*

What the !!!!

*Shakes the bars of his cell. Doesn't really succeed in doing anything but making a lot of noise.*

Oh, well, this is lovely.

*searches about his cell for anything of use.*

*Becomes angry and rams the door with his shoulder.*

*NYC comes in beside Red Dog, still holding his shoulder-mounted howitzer and FN P90*

[NYC] Yeah, they may shrug off bullets, but can they pick up their own pieces? He he he.

[Dewey Demon]And what about the wrath of a librarian, who's done more walking around this chateau than a week's worth of shelving entails?

*waves his date stamp in a menacing fashion*

*ducks*

Blimey, that nearly took my eye out !

Terribly sorry about that.

No problemo DD but I was wondering about the liklihood of finding any dates in a dungeon or any kind of fruit for that matter ? True it'll be handy to have a stamp if an armed date came our way but I usually find eating them works just as well

Stamps deal very well with stones, much better than eating them could.

Unless you're Matter Eater Lad, of course...

*whispers* Do the laws of heroic cliches still work if we're fighting alongside proven evil-doers like NYC over there? *stops whispering*

*NYC shifts a tad to the left, resulting in his artillery piece clipping DD in the back of the head with a resounding *BONG*

[NYC] Oh! Terribly sorry, there.

~whisper to DD~

apparently not and I'm not sure they'll apply against computer programmes ....... we need a volunteer to find out.

*looks at DD hopefully*

*rubs head, a little dazed*

Did someone say volunteer?

But of course!

*wonders vaguely, in a dazed and confused manner, whether he should check what he's just volunteered for*

~hating himself for it but unable to resist the temptation~

Yes DD ..... all you have to do is walk down this corridor checking all the cell doors for us.

[A burly dude runs up to them]

[Cujo] Aha! The visitors! [gets into a combat stance] Are you feeling lucky, punks!?

*B'KAM eeeEEE BOOM*

[NYC] Yes, yes I am!

*And another salvo streaks past DD, ensuring that his bearings (and his hearing) ain't gonna get straight anytime soon*

*dons a kevlar helmet, kneels and hauls the Chihauwitzer© onto his shoulder very much like a WW2 Bazooka*

Would you oblige NYC ?

*points to a box full of ballistic poodles on the ground next to him ready to be loaded*

Let's see what these bad babies can do heh heh heh !

[Cujo simply lets them shoot him. He starts getting covered in bullet holes. Then when the shots stop, he stretches, and the bullets pop out, and his wounds heal.]

[Cujo] Sheesh, haven't you learnt ANYTHING yet!?