h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This is, of course, an attic. The only difference between this and most attics is that (a) it is mostly empty of clutter, and (b) it is much larger.

[Vlad drags in Justin and David's unconscious forms. Their arms and legs are tied to the floor with wooden stakes, and a ring of lit candles surrounds each of them. Vlad grins, revealing a pair of sharp, vampiric (well, duh) teeth.]

*even though unconscious, somehow manages to think *

*Even though unconcious, subscibes to the conversation and ignores all spelling mistakes*

*Waits for something else to happen*

[Vlad seems to sort of just disappear, and this is about when they should be waking up.]

*Wakes up*
Hey! Where's Vlad?

Uh... Help?

[One of the candles -- which wasn't balanced very well -- falls over, the flame landing directly on the rope.]

*Watches flame burn through rope*

Whew... that was lucky

*Catches on Fire*

Oh no...

*wakes up*

*attempts to blow Justin's flames out*

*stops and picks stake up, just in case*

*continues firefighting efforts"

[The fire, against all logic, is successfully put out, and there is no further sign that it was even there.]

[[Gained Wooden Stake x8!]]

*wonders what the Dewey number for stakes is, and decides it's not worth the effort*

Are you OK?

*starts looking for a way out of the attic*

[Vlad reappears again]

[Vlad] Whoops! You escaped quicker than I expected ...

[Cue Vlad's battle themesong.]

Aargh! It's that non-helpful guy!
Why on earth did you do whatever you did to us?

Oh, just stake him!

*executes a complicated maneuver, which involves a back flip ending in such a way that the momentum should drive a stake straight through Vlad's heart, while simultaneously giving him a librarian's glare*



*mid flight, the other seven stakes, which the Dewey Demon had been carrying, shoot off in various directions*

[Vlad leans back, dodging the stake.]

[Vlad] It won't be that easy ... [tries to use a complicated "beat the out of" maneuver on DD]

*Picks up the scythe, that was lying on the ground, from where it was previously knocked*

*Starts swinging it around, at random heights, hoping to hit Vlad at least once*

[Vlad is cut up quite a bit. The wounds promptly vanish, though, followed swiftly by the rips in his clothes. He jumps into the air and does a Bullet Time kick at both of them (he's got long legs).]

*leans backwards at an impossible angle*

*focuses, and moves swiftly, like an agent - dodging the kick*