h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Aha... I see what you are talking about now...
Yes you are stark raving, totally, absolutely and positively mad...

Still no harm in that, join the club and stick a pencil up each nostril and say 'Bibble' or 'Wibble' or if you need a DNA reference 'Bable'

*Peregrin sticks pencils in his nostrils, pens in his ears and his mouse in his mouth*
Glah gha wre oh sherwich...
*takes mouse out of mouth*
Glad to be of service.

LOL... Who can't speak with their mouse-full??

AAAAAAhhhh!! An elf has just stolen my ears.

He's prolly just borrowed them... DON'T PANIC!!!!

If you want you can use mine... I have a couple that I don't use (in a jar on top of the bathroom cabinet).... See how ELF-less I am, I am always Elf-full to my friends... If you feel ELF-consious without ears... and your ELF-esteem is being lowered... The I will make the ELF-sacrifice just for you...

Thanks
If he's just borrowed them, I'll start being kinder to my-elf.

People tell me I'm a really elf-less person... What should I do??

Well that's ELF-explanatory really!!!

I should have gnome all along.

~shaking head in disbelief~
That was almost embarrassing...

It could have been worse
But yes, it was dreadful.

How much worse can you get?

I've gnome idea.
(I think that was rock-bottom...)

You need to join an ELF-help group I think, to get you over this gnome dependancy.. ~grin~

I originally wrote this somewhere else, but when I read the page on gnomes and elves I thought it would be a good addition.
"While I'm blaming my disorganisation on ficticious spirits, my house has a plague of Bogles. These are irritating spirits which lurk just past the borders of visibility, and take delight in hiding things that split second before you want them. Signs of Bogle infestation can be distinguished from normal losing by the following signs. If you lose something to a Bogle, you are most likely to find it while looking for the next thing you've lost, some time later. By this time the bogle has a new toy and is bored with the original lost item, which you almost certainly don't need anymore. Also ...if you spend ages looking for something, sit down in frustration for a cup of tea, and the item will often be found somewhere in full view nearby. Bogles are michevious but not wicked, if they sense you are worn out and upset they usually give things back. For this reason it is possible to get things back by asking for them in a firm tone of voice ..making it clear that you know what's going on and are not impressed. Bogles nowadays think humans are far too closeminded to address them directly, although be careful if there are people who don't know you well about."

PS Recently, a road bypass in Ireland was expensively rerouted to avoid destroying an ancient fairy tree ..where the fairies of one county gathered to make plans before fighting the fairies from another county. Also, there is a degree in fairy studies at Queens University, Belfast. I know that sounds like a poor joke but its true.

I like you Oh Skulking One... You are truley mad!!! ~cheshire grin~

I like you too - I think you may well be right.

I'm impressed ...this forum is a rich lode of wisdom and enlightenment.

...and absolutely sane, of course.

Me is a sane cat in a world gonne madde.... me thinks... therefore me a pussy... ~cheshire grin~