h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*caught off-guard by the pleading NYC-lizard*

Errr... lemme look, I'm sure I've got something! I've got a crateful of magic books and scrolls in the back that I didn't unpack yet, there MUST be something there! Kalia! Help me look!

*Corrupt runs over to the storage room, and Kalia leaps over to her*

[Kalia] Corrupt, I don't think you should open that!
[Corrupt] *opens door* What? Er... ahh... ooh.

*an army of tiny wind-up mechanical robots stream out the door. Corrupt watches them in confusion. Kalia leaps over them and starts hunting through a crate, since Corrupt seems incapable of movement.*

[Kalia] NYC, will a, er, 'revert to previous form' spell work?

[NYC] Only one way to find out!

[Narg] *lowers weapon* Well... this has long day written all over it.

[NYC] You don't know the half of it.

*Corrupt snaps back into reality, and goes to look at the spell*

Ummm... NYC... Are you SURE you'd want to be thrown back to your previous form?

*she starts digging through the box*

Ooooh.. 'Zorkian Spells, with Pronunciation Guide'... :D

*reads through it a bit*

Ah, here we go. KULCAD!

*NYC turns into a shark. Narg's jaw drops. NYC doesn't like this development very much. Narg attempts to regain his composure*

[Narg] Err, uh, try it again!

whoops, read A562402 - entirely different than I thought. disregard last post. =p

*NYC turns into NYC. Were it not that NYC's coat smells like shark and all his items were greasy, he'd feel better. He coughs.*

[NYC] now, where were we? Oh, yeah, killing Kudos. Excuuuuse meeee...

*Kalia gets in the way*

[Kalia] Your STUMPED card, please?

*Kalia gives a stone-faced look to NYC's incredulous one*

You see this mess? I just cleaned the place up after... well, after the LAST time someone messed up the shop! The LEAST you can do is pay for all the weaponry you took!

(whispers) And if you don't, I'll tell Corrupt what happened here!!

[NYC] Ha! like she'd believe a word of it-- *the spacecraft shifts position and settles loudly* --right, here you go.

*Kalia takes the card and swipes it through a reader on the desk, which takes care of the transactions. Among the charges are 'Rental, teleportation wall, 1 day' and some outlandish price, which Kalia clears off the screen before Corrupt can see. She hands the card back to NYC.*

[Kalia] Now, if you're going Kudos-hunting... can I come? *hopeful grin*

[NYC] Well, I don't see why NOT.... alright, hop into my conveniently-parked spacecraft here...

*Narg shoots Kalia a suspicious look*

[NYC] You, Narg, can walk if you have any problems with the situation.

[Narg] Aww, poo.

*the goons start filing back into the Kostov*

*Corrupt and Kalia head into the spaceship, Narg still giving Kalia suspicious glances from time to time*

[Corrupt] Um... do we have any way of knowing where Kudos is right now?

[NYC] Whaddo I look like, a soothsayer?

*Narg's beeper beeps. He looks at it*

[Narg] Uhh, sir...

[NYC] Then again,...

*Corrupt raises an eyebrow*

I suddenly get the feeling that my shop isn't the ONLY one getting a threat of destruction today. Let's get this tin can moving, people!

*Corrupt pushes her way past the assembled henchmen and into the craft. Everyone else who wasn't whoopassed presumably follows, and the craft itself begins to rumble in yearning*

[NYC] Alright, anybody have any clue how to back this 60's era Russian hunk o' junk out of a tight spot?

...

Nobody? Well, I'll just play it by ear...

*Various loud sound of scraping, crashing, and other unsettling noises emanates throughout the store*

*Kalia glares at NYC*

Gimme that.

*She grabs the controls and backs the spaceship out of the shop with a minimum of additional damage. However, when the spaceship gets back into space, Corrupt looks out the window and sees...*

[Corrupt] Where did the space centre go?
[Kalia] Over there. *points out the other side of the ship*
[Corrupt] But... but... MY SHOP! Kudos is gonna die!!

*Kalia and Kudos arive with a -kaTING!-*

*Kalia groans at the pitiful state of the shop. She calls some STUMPED-certified contractors, curls up in the only intact corner, and shifts into standby mode. Kudos meanders into his room and goes to sleep, muttering from time to time curses, 'Affy', and 'FACE'.*