h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm sure you'll get into a name-brand institution Ioreth.

We're voting on the new name for the Café. I hope the votes have NOT been tainted. Who knows where that could lead?

darnnit! i missed BB by an hour!
hmpf, i'll just have to wait till we're both on the same time!

*wakes up in Deep Purple sofa, having dozed off*

Oh dear - the others must be wondering where I am...

IIEM, a Freedom special to go, please!

*disappears into lift/elevator*

I object to the name of the cafe. Why Bush?

Obviously in recognition of Bush House, the new home of the Towers?
I would have a Mobius Doughnut, but I can't find an end to start from

I don't think that name was on the list when I voted.
Hi guys! Been some crazy days, I need a good rest here in the café.

Who was asking about the fireplace? I think, if you move that chair a bit...the one in the corner there, you will find it.
*settles in one of the big comfy chairs.*
IIEM, a , please.

Hey Hati I've got some backlogs together and Elanor has lit them for us, so do you want to come grab yourself a good seat next to me while they are still here?

George W. Bush is always the result of tainted votes.

/* sips tea */

IIEM, a bowl of water please.

/* places /___\ on floor */

Tainted votes oh-oh
tainted votes

Sorry, just got a flashback from the 80's...

*glumly* I wish you hadn't done that, Bumblebee. I never liked that song, or the clone that came after it.

Munchers, if you're having trouble with the Moebius doughnut, then you better avoid the strawberry filled Klein Bottle doughnuts...

Me, I'll have an Asteroid Lil Special please. Apple spice donuts -- the best!

Any lemon s? With lemon icing and a lemon curd filling, they are just divine.

May I have a hot chocolate please, as well?

So how does the cafe relate to everything else, or is too long a story to tell?

If I knew anything about it, I'd try and squeeze some bad joke about grandmothers in here. Isn't it lucky I don't know anything about this here café.

Irving Washington founded the Aroma Cafe, as was, way back in the early days of h2g2. It sits on the boardwalk overlooking the beach, next to the indoor swimming pool, which is part of Bluebottle's waterworks. A right businessman, is our Bluebottle! Set himself up as impresario for the Beach, the swimming pool, the part of the river that runs through H2G2 Village, and the sewer system. There used to be a small door between the cafe and the waterworks, and it must still be there since Bluebottle comes in so regularly.

Another part of the cafe is up that spiral staircase over there *gestures vaguely* which goes to the Irving Washington Book Nook.

Up there in the rafters is where Ook lives or lived. Ook is a blue orangutan who is a champion scrabble player. Ook was formerly a pet of Vlad, but Vlad left him behind when he went back to Transylvania.

Out on the back porch you'll see a living statue of Venus in Cornflowers. I don't know the exact story, but she became angry with Bluebottle and turned herself into a statue as a permanent reproach. That's why she has that... expression on her face. Beautiful girl, otherwise.

On the counter, you surely must have noticed the espresso machine with the retro 50's styling? That's the IIEM, or Infinite Improbability Espresso Machine. Irv brought it in to cover times when there were no staff on duty behind the counter. It makes anything, and has at times been sadly abused. But fortunately it's easy to clean, and CLI are available to maintain it. If no-one's serving, just tell it what you want, and it will provide.

Against the wall over there is a player piano, and that box next to it contains lots of rolls. There used to be a special saxophone sitting on top of the piano, but I took it away to the atelier.

I think that's about it. You know, now, about the access tunnel, and there's also a very pleasant woodland path between here and the atelier.

Excellent synopsis, Lil

So I have only to step out of the door to meet one of my stunt doubles entering for the bikini competition.

*Orders and lemon from the IIEM*

*digs through rolls and finds Chopin's Nocturnes*

Where is Ook, by the way?

And I forget to mention the cleaning closet, where the strongest cleaningbot CLI ever made is stored. They modelled her after an East German swimmer of note, I believe. If she should happen to come out, look as clean as you can.

*sweeping in*

*stops abruptly*

Atelier people? In here? Nice!

*suddenly remembers she's in a bad mood tonight*

Ook? Ooooooook? Hey! Come down and beat me in scrabble - that will go perfectly with my mood!

IIEM, a Turkish coffee please!

*hands Kristina her Turkish coffee, garbs one for herself as well*

Funny, I never noticed the spiral staircase over there. But I did have the pleasure of meeting Venus in Cornflowers in person, several weeks ago.

IIEM, I think I'll have a Turkish coffee too, please.

Is anyone else marginaly worried by the insertion of a rather ugly BBCi bar along the top?

IIEM, a mulled applejuice with extra cinamon please.

OH my the whole of the BBC site has changed, it's all greay and confusing. AHHHH. Err, it looks like a yahoo search engine front page. Oh, no make that Altavista. Yep they've made the Beeb altavista. Doh, silly people.

ze evil swines