h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: How to bluff your way through preparing a romantic meal - A1925363
Author: Tom-the-flip-side - U202021

To much sex?

Hello there Tom

this reads like painful personal experience!

Good entry...

For me the humour is a bit forced in places - like you're trying a wee bit too hard to be funny. An example is the list at the end, which includes some stuff which really has nothing to do with the entry. I'd miss it out - but I stress this is a personal view, which you can ignore completely.

I've got a few other comments

pops up too much in the intro - one or two could be cut

- And I rather assume that the person isn't yet your partner at this stage: if they were, he/she would have sussed that you're a lousy cook and you'd be eating take-away.

Actually, why not suggest that, as an alternative to cooking at all? I'm pretty sure I'd recommend it if somebody's this worried about preparing and presenting food.

I don't think non-UK h2g2ers will know what Songs of Praise is.

-

It's okay to discuss fluid dynamics or quantum physics if you're trying to impress a physicist, so this bit might need rewording - otherwise you run the risk of incurring the wrath of scientific h2g2ers.


F/b

fluid dynamics or quantum physics are very sexy topics.... but what do I know... I've not got a date, so perhaps... Hmm, good entry

Perhaps you could also mention table cloths - (use one) - don't try to improvise with curtains. (Or if you do at least make sure you've removed ALL the cutain hooks.)

Check dietery requirements first (The Chicken Chasseur presented by me to a girl I hadn't bothered to check was an animal liberationist still produces gales of laughter when the survivors gather.)

ASK ABOUT ALLERGIES - the polite young lady who ate my raspberry coulis despite her known allergy because she "didn't want to hurt my feelings when I'd obviously taken so much time" was an object lesson in the intolerance of hospital A&E departments.

Make sure you know what to do with it - the young lady who presented me with boiled lamb chops, probably is best forgotten.

cool entry.

perhaps you should suggest that food prepared for the date should have been tried out before. I have had several near misses with recipes that i had not tried out before.

mini

Great suggestions guys... I'll get straight onto it!

Good entry I liked this.

There are a few typos still - do you want them pointed out? If so I'll try and offer some advice later... bit busy at the moment

Pimms

yeah as the other person said,this is a bit forced,it does go on a bit,but it isnt very long,perhaps writing a bit more about the types of music....

Also locations is a bit out of the subject,because thats just like how to bluff your way to finding a romantic restaurant.

I would say....take out the end bits at the bottom and only put accross and translate what is in there that might need to be explained to people who dont understand some of the words,instead of using that.

Maybe add a section on chat up lines too?

also make sure you are lways teling it as a how to guide,because if you put yourself or your comments into it then it starts to turn into a story which for some readers just goes on......however this is a good idea,and i think something like this should be in the guide.

Point out typos till your hearts content

I like this entry and think it should go into the guide with a little tidying up.

"roulard" should be spelt "roulade". I didn't understand what you meant about it and the crackers.

The heading "Check the food is going to be all right on the night" looks like it is introducing a section but there's nothing there.

Run the whole thing through a spelling checker.

The bit 'check the food...' ia a header for a new section that has been suggested but that i have yet to write...

Thanks for the suggestions.. I'll try to get a bit more done 2morrow

Okay I've updated it again.

Any further suggestions/corrections???

Here are some suggestions and typo corrections:

Throughout alter 'partner' to 'guest' - as the implication of the entry is that this person is unfamiliar with your culinary skills, which generally your partner (name generally used for someone you live with) would not be.

"There are even more types of FBs (Food beliefs) that also restrict the range of foods that a person can eat. Medical conditions include people such as coeliac's and allergy sufferers where as FBs include fruitarians, vegetarians and a countless number of people on a countless number of diets. So always remembre to check with the people you are cooking for to se if they have any special needs."

might read better (since there were a couple of typos and I wanted to suggest a rephrase or two) as

"In addition there are many FBs (Food Beliefs) that may restrict the range of foods that a person can eat. Medical conditions include people such as coeliac's and other allergy sufferers, whereas FBs include fruitarians, vegetarians and a countless number of people on a countless number of more or less wacky diets. So always remember to check with the people you are cooking for, to see if they have any special needs."

chose to bless your cooking > choose to bless your cooking

sorry I am being turfed off the computer, maybe more later...

Pimmsaloonie

I think this is great! I don't think that the humour is forced - I think it's pretty much spot on.

I've got one suggestion, though. I'm not sure what the "key words and phrases" section adds - perhaps this could be replaced with a different kind of conclusion??

I enjoyed reading your entry, i felt it struck a good balance between humour and educating the reader. From past experience any man attempting anything in the kitchen i have two words:

SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE

I like the words and phrases bit. though I have added a new end to it...

I think this is pretty good now. Length is about right, the humour is fine, and the advice is relevent.

Yeah I really liked this entry as I am absolutly rubbish at romantic meals. however... I have found supermarkets do these meals in a silver bag. you take them from the freezer, pour them in a saucepan and cook them for twenty minutes and they have the sauce and everything forzen inside. Not as bad as boil in the bag meals and my past girlfriends actually think i cooked them and mentioned how good i was at it. Ha ha ha, if only they knew.

Loved the entry. well done

Glad you liked it! Nows lets get it in the guide!

The funny thing is of course, which will get you thinking, is that I have never actually cooked or prepared any kind of meal in my life. Though I do think that I would be damn good at it!