h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*drinks heavily from the bottle marked " Very safe non-toxic floor cleaner"*
I don't know what all the fuss is about. 'ning all, please.

*pours *

I'll get another ready to settle DD.

*pours *

Here you go EV.

Now that's the biggest bundle of lovableness I've ever seen!
*tickles and scratches kitty's tummy and alternately scratches behind his ears*

Thanks.
*sniffs suspiciously*
There's no floor cleaner in this, is there?

Hi, EV.
I wouldn't worry about it. I think you were being set up earlier

*The pints poured for DD go undrunk and nobody thinks of taking them to him a the h2g2 hospital*

Hey, why don't we take these undrunk pints poured for DD and take them to him at the h2g2 hospital? Wherever that is.

*grabs one of the pints for DD and raises it in the air*
Cheers! Here's to...
*realizes that he doesn't know any good toasts for recently almost fatally poisioned presidential candidates*
Here's to DD. He's gone but not...
What was that last bit, again?

Er.... oh, let's just drink them.

*Grabs Redbeard's arm in his paws (claws sheathed) and won't let go till that cake is fed to him... mouth open, sharp teeth glinting*

Never been in here before, Hiya!
Hey where's the Sheffieldite gone? Hmmm, I happen to know it's a four and a half hour drive to Edinburgh from Sheffield (or Sneffiela if you're coming on the motorway )

Hi DD, what's wrong, why do mean people keep trying to poison you? What is a presidential election thingy, I'm newish here and whilst I normally accept my level of confusion this is quite intrigueing

Hi to EV too, don't understand the Edinburgh thing but I'm going in a few weeks if that's any help? Why do you want everyone to go to Edinburgh, I'd be happy to oblige and launch a campaign if it cheers you up but I have no idea what I'd be campaigning for...

Either way it's still D, E and F who get the chocolate and as no-one's come up with a good enough excuse for being G it looks like we get to eat it all

*feeds Kitty, quickly*

Now don't molest the customers.

*notices Kitty's response*
Um... I'll finish that toast later.

Here's some more cake, kitty.
*decides to put full concentration into kitty's needs at the moment*

Come on, all!

Let's keep Tweetie's party going on until she comes back from her holiday!

*Poof! Self-refillable champagne glasses appear at nearby table, will last for 11 hours (until midnight CET)

G'night all!

*drifting off, in her usual v.e.l.manner*

Evening Tinkerbell... it's not just a campaign on behalf of the Edinburgh tourist board, I'm trying to encourage people to come to the get-together in Edinburgh on August 5th.

*Kitty purrs very loudly [ear plugs out everyone]*

PPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!
PPPPPRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
PPPRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

*rubs his head against Redbeard a couple of times*

Mmmmmrrrrrrr mmmmmrrrrrrrrrrr

*rolls over and falls asleep*

mmmrrrrzzzz mmmmrrrrzzzzz

Evening all, any grumpfuttocks on tap tonight Mr M?

EV old boy, sorry to hear about the Edinburgh situation - any developments?

Hello EV! Do you want a drink whilst youre here *waves fairy wand and produces Glen Fiddach (or similarly spelt) whisky*
So is this a real life thing or an almost real life if life was very surreal and not entirely three dimensional kinda thing?

*pours *

Here you go Zeb, sorry to say that its time for me to go to bed. Night all.