h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

(1) The life expectancy of any car part is inversely proportional to the parts cost multiplied by its availability. If your car uses a standard size brake shoe it will never wear out. On the other hand, the rare and expensive clutch release bearing will fail on a weekly basis.
(2) Maintenance manuals are a minefield of tiny missing bits of information. Yes, it will mention releasing the bell-housing bolts in the specific order..but it will forget to mention that you should prop up the gearbox or it will attempt to remove your fingers in the process.

The expected failure of any part is also tied in to whether you are going to keep the car or not

I have decided to sell mine, so it is naturally costing me as much money as it possibly can before I get rid of it. I have changed at least five bulbs in the last month, the driver's window stopped working and the wipers started behaving oddly, resulting in another trip to the garage (fuse box needed replacement). Furthermore, there is a dearth of cars on the market in my price range that fulfil my needs, which will probably result in me having to service my current car _and_ have to give it an MOT.

There is an actual syndrome in car mechanics (and mechanics in general) called the "new part syndrome".
Basically, fitting a new part to a car will cause any parts connected to it to go wrong. A bulb is a good example, because by fitting a new bulb to a slightly coroded terminal you clean the terminal accidentally, reducing the electrical resistence and increasing the voltage....which blows the bulb.
If you really want to see electrical failure, put a brand new fully charged battery in - and watch those connectors fry

I know that you're probably speaking more of the irony involved in Zen and the art of car maintenance, but here's few
pointers from a real shadetree mechanic.

In response to number 1...That's why the "standard" brake shoe is standard. It has been proven time and again
in many different vehicles to perform exceptionally well, whereas the rare and expensive clutch release bearing (yes, I
have had my experiences with standard transmissions) is a "new innovation" by the car company. Therefore, the
experimental part hasn't had the road testing necessary to determine it's viability as a standard part. Eventually the car
manufacturer, realizing their folly, will either redesign the part or go with a more "standard" version.

Now number 2...Never, ever, trust an owner's manual to tell you how to do things. What I have done in the past is:
Take the manual under the car/over the car/into the car, and look at the situation. This done, take the necessary information
from the manual, and write your own set of instructions using your own observations. It helps surprisingly well.

An update on my car. I have now found another one to buy, and my old one is so old as not to be worth trading in. Thus, I am spared the ritual rising panic traditional to these occasions, wondering if the old one will break down before I can get it to the garage where it's no longer my responsibility. However, I am now worried as to what horrendous thing it has in store for me in revenge for denying it this pleasure. Watch this space...

The owners manual is non-existant, probably having perished about 27 years ago. What I was using was the Haynes manual - and I have always found those to be very good.
However, the wetness of the Irish winter months has convinced me that doing this myself is a non-starter (as is the car) so I'm on the hunt for a reputable car restorer/mechanic in the Dublin bay area...any ideas?

welllll...no. The oldest vehicle I own is 26 years old, and I don't have the owner's manual for it. I do have the
Chilton's mechanic's guide, which is very useful. Fortunately, I pretty much know how to fix every system in the
car by heart now, so repairs generally go quickly. If it's a popular vehicle, there should be a collector's club or
some such in or around your area. One of the members should be able to help you out as far as finding a mechanic
goes. What's the problem? We're probably talking a completely foreign system here, but I might be of some
help.

The problem is a lack of foresight
I replaced the clutch (as per the manual, but enough said about that) by removing the gearbox from inside the car....but now I can't get the darned thing back in again. Basically you need to position it with a great deal of precision but it weighs about 50kg, is sharp and slippery and the cabin space to manouver is small.
I now realise that I should have taken the engine off the gearbox and not vv., so I am looking for an engine hoist to hire and a weekend without rain.
The hoist is not as much of a problem as the weather - it could well be next summer!

Okay, here's what you do. If you need to get this done quickly, you'll need a few things.
1. 3 10 foot 2X4 boards.
2. A really big drill bit.
3. A hand operated "Come-Along". Winch/whatever.
4. An 8 inch machine bolt with nut and washers.

Now, make yourself a tripod with the 2X4s, drill, and bolt. Position the winch on the bolt at the top of the tripod.
drop 'er down and yank that puppy out. Now, you might think that the engine's too heavy, but it's not. If rain is
a problem, which it has been for me too, get a large tarpaulin and drape it over the whole works. Don't worry if
you get distracted, the home-made engine hoist will hold til spring of 2005 if you need it! The only weak link here
is the bolt you use to build the 'pod. Make sure it's a big sucker.
This might sound like a lot of work, but once you have the materials, it only takes a half hour or so to build. If you've
got a buddy that can help you, you can have the engine out, and the new clutch installed in an afternoon.

I wish you luck!
chris

Now I know what the family is going to be doing on New Years morning

There's a New Year's Morning? Where is this thing? How can I find it? hehe

I was rather hoping that my mother will come across this thread before then - should make for an interesting discussion

Well, I hope she has fun helping you out with your car problems. It wouldn't be much different from a regular
family holiday for me. No matter what holiday it is, there's always something that is tedious, dirty, and not
something that you want to do on your day off.

It is 4.50 am (we won't go into why I'm in the office at this time -something to do with a revised computer spec for my project...)Idly flick through your postings to discover I've been enrolled as slave labour in my absence. I don't think there's enough whisky in Dublin to compensate for this, especially as I've recently begun to indulge in regular manicures. Maybe your friend is right : there won't be any such thing as a New Year's morning next year. Like Leap Days they miss out on years divisible by 400 Now I'll have to do a quick scurry round your other chats to see what else I've been let in for.

hehe, I was simply saying that, for me, New Year's Eve will end around 6am. Therefore, New Year's Day will
start around 6pm. I'm sorry you're enslaved, but there's definitely enough whiskey in Dublin to make up for
just about everything! So take heart.

And a Merry (hic) New year to you too

Ha - there won't be much whiskey in Dublin as I've my Christmas do on Sunday and I'm sure the thirsty bunch that we are can pile through it in no time.

You will be glad to know that I have decided to swallow my pride and pay a professional to fit the clutch and do any other work as is needed...fitting the racing suspension is enough DIY for any man's pride. Of course, since leaded fuel goes off sale on Jan 1st, there is more work in the pipeline (literally )




[16-12-1999 13:50GMT]

I'm not going to get into it really, but my '73 Ventura has run fine on unleaded gas and an additive called "No
Lead" for years now. Just a thought.

If all else fails, we'll run it on whisky.

Prrrrrrrrrrrreeeeecisely!