h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well thank you all for your input....
Very much appreciated {and much cheaper than a shrink}

This is great! For more than 40 weeks people have been talking about WOMAN! Thank you - I am very flattered!
But don't worry: We are woman! Try to sue us!
The best way to handle us is: Saying always YES!

By the way: Does anyone understand men???

Greetings
Funkenmarie

Apparently not...

Woman... Whoa Man... Woman

New element of the periodic table

For the scientific amongst you.......


Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam Sonofgod
Atomic mass: Accepted as 53.6 kg; isotopes vary
from 40 - 200 kg
Occurrence:
Copious quantities in all urban areas

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
Surface usually covered with thin painted film
-Boils at room Temperature
-Freezes without any known reason
-Melts if given special treatment
-Bitter if incorrectly used
-Found in various states, ranging from virgin metal
to common ore -Ductile
-Yields to pressure applied at correct points

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
-Have great affinity for gold, silver and a range of
precious stones -Absorbs great quantities of
expensive substances
-May explode spontaneously without prior warning
and for no known reason
-Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by
saturation in alcohol
-Most powerful money reducing agent known to
man

COMMON USES:
-Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars -Can
be a great aid to relaxation
-Very effective cleaning agent

TESTS:
-Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in
natural state -Turns green when placed beside a
better specimen

POTENTIAL HAZARDS:
-Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
-Illegal to posses more than one, although several
can be maintained at different locations as long as
specimens does not come into direct contact with
each other

Gedge

Women are like elephants ok to look at but i wouldn't want to own one WC FIELDS

That's the funniest thing I've ever seen. Well not Ever but you know what I mean. Just can't wait to see the furour that generates.

Gedge that was brilliant.......
Guess who is busy compiling a similar list on the male of the species

Break it up...

If we understood women they'd probably be less interesting.

Oh, I'm sorry,
but I'm not your late mother in law and I prefer other neck cords

In my job you are not praised. That is to promote the performance. Whether is correct? Well sometimes ...

I'm looking forward to visit your happy-home-domain.
-----------------------------CoXinelle

Yes, therefore many women find men very boring and arduously.
Does the phenomenon of the Homosexuality have to do perhaps somewhat thereby?
----------------CoXinelle

You know when you *really* don't understand something when you *thought* you didn't understand it, and then it just gets a little bit more confusing.

Did I say a LITTLE bit....

You're saying women are like algebra?

I once had a drunk male say to me "Where's your algerbra?" I didn't understand, so I asked his more sober friend, who said, "He means your boobs, love". I was a rather un-endowed barmaid some 20- odd years ago....

not quite what I was talking about....I meant numbers.

If women were as complicated as algebra, you could understand women using a formula. That's not possible, but I bet that somebody, somewhere, has tried it...

I once read a story about king arthur were he had to go out though the land for one year then return with the answer to the question what is it that all women want most.

Gooday Timelord,

Look, I'm not sure about this but I think there is something similar in the Canterbury Tales; again I'm by no means sure but seem to remember that the answer is basically that women want to be in control of their men. But Gee, you may have started something with this question - I think some of us will have to tread warily! Take care,

Walter.

After the year was up he had been to the 4 corners of is kingdom and asked every woman that he met each give a diffrent answer.