h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

lil x

had his fourth birthday today

His present was a new bunk bed and the whole bedroom done out in a Spiderman theme. (quilt, curtains, etc etc)

Grandad.... Do you like you new bunk bed?
... Its not a bunk bed, its a double decker!!!

Grandad... Talking about sleeping on the bottom bunk as opposed to the top, because of the height and safety.
... Don't be silly grandad, I can balance.

Some gems from Youngest Niece at Christmas.

Her vocalisations for 'grandpa', 'paper', and 'poo' sound exactly the same so it's difficult to know if she wants a hug from grandpa, a piece of paper to scribble on, or has just filled her nappy.

Relating to the nappy, there were great trumping noises and a woeful smell eminating from the corner. When ask if she'd done a poo, the response was a gleeful 'YEEEAAAAH! '

She can almost but not quite say 'juice'. It's a little disconcerting when a small child starts gesticulating and shouting 'JEWS!' at the top of her voice.

Niece, at age 9, when seeing my new handbag and reading the name of the brand:

'I just *knew it was one of theirs, they always make such od- SPECIAL items!'

I think it's my sister-in-law that has taught her to say 'special' instead of 'odd'.

And it was one of these:

http://acimg.auctivacommerce.com/imgdata/0/2/3/1/4/8/webimg/6676457.jpg

Long time, no comment.

(4 and a few months) has a jigsaw of some builders on a building site. A bit like Bob the builder-ish.
He bought it to me as I am the better grandparent at doing jigsaws.
We did it... He then went for his building blocks.

He came back and said the jigsaw picture was the instructions and the directions as to what he had to build and commenced, following these instructions.

was playing in the garden now that the better weather is here. He found a worm.
He went into the kitchen and called to mommy.

Mommy, come and see what I have found.
She then saw him open his hand and show a wiggly worm.
He told her that it was the daddy worm and that he was going to look for the mommy worm and the children after school tomorrow.
I don't know if he did find them or not

At 6am this morning my 6-year-old son came into our room and said that when he is an adult he is going to marry the Queen, because he wants to live in a palace...

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At about 6:45am this morning my 4 year old daughter came into our room and said 'I wish I was Samuel Pepys'.

I gave her my note planner, said 'here's a diary' and she wandered off happy.

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My 4 year old daughter this morning:

'Who is Bob? Does he wear glasses like you, Daddy, or is he a normal person?'

Ouch.

My 7-year-old son this afternoon said 'All babies start off the same and then they turn random'

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First thing in the morning my daughter wandered in wearing only a pair of bright yellow pants and said 'I look just like Mowgli' (character from 'The Jungle Book').

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What do children think about in June? This morning my son said:
'When I'm older I'm going to build a city at the North Pole, so adults can see Father Christmas.'

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I meant to put this into the thread a couple of days ago.


Last weekend Hubby's niece, a school teacher with teenaged children, promised to look after her brother's two sons overnight so their parents could have a quiet night


5 year old Josh phoned his auntie and said: "Me and Tommy are staying with you for the night, so you might need help looking after him"

Niece: Oh. Do you think I might need help with Tommy?

Josh: Oh yes. He still wakes up in the night, and mommy has to give him some milk from her boobies!

Niece: But I don't have milk in my boobies.

Josh: That's okay. Just give him a banana instead!

Niece: Thank you Josh. That's most helpful.

Josh: You are very welcome.



lil xx

'It's NOT pretend food, we're pretending it's REAL food.'

Obviously I should have known that. Lesson learned - never doubt the verisimilitude of a teddy bear's tea party...

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"Babies can't say 'one hundred'. Or 'eleven'."
- My daughter who randomly explained why mathematicians tend not to be in nappies.

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As it was a wet weekend, yesterday I set up the scalextric (a Christmas present) for the first time this year. To which my daughter excitedly exclaimed,
'It's wonderful! It's a miracle! It's a TV dinner!'
This was an unusual way to describe it, but I think she's picked the expression up from our reading 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' recently, particularly the scene where Willy Wonka broadcasts a bar of .

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...the bear went under the mountain! To see what it could see!

...the freight train entered the tunnel!...

'Heaven is a good place; it's just like Legoland...'

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'Some people don't believe in Father Christmas. They think their presents fall out of the Christmas Trees.'

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My son was wondering what school he'll be going to when he leaves the one he's in now.

Son: What's after Juniors?
Daughter: February.

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When I was on the train the other day, the two children in the seats in front of me didn't say anything when I blew my nose as quietly as possible with just a little *honk* - they just fell about laughing