h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There are many, many interesting ways to get free food from McDonalds. This is the most reliable one: the one that has secured me many a happy hour of free McDonalds :] !


Technique 1

Quietly enter and sit at a table. After a few moments, adopt a bored expression, look at your watch, and keep glancing up at the counter. Try to look as if you are catching the eye of one of the assistants, but make sure that you don't actually! After a few minutes of attention has been paid to you by at least one of the assistants, get up and walk over to them. Seem tolerant but impatient. Say "Excuse me, but where's my quarter-pounder?" They will look at you bemusedly. say "Didn't I order a quarter-pounder without any pickles and stuff from you, about five minutes ago? You said it would only be two minutes." They will be confused. Say "Could you get me it? I don't have long." At this point they will argue a little and/or hesitate, before calling the floor manager over. You have to do this bit quickly and confidently! They will ask what the problem is, explain it briefly. They will ask you which till you ordered from, and you say that you thought it was this one, and could they hurry up? the assistant will say it wasn't this one, and at this point the manager will pause, and then grudgingly concede and have a lovely, fresh, warm quarter-pounder (with just cheese) cooked for you right away. Yummy! They can't stop business to check each till, and they won't want to risk you being genuine. It has never failed me, anyways :]