Smudger Snippets
Created | Updated Sep 7, 2006
I suppose it's because I have so much time on my hands these days that all these memories come flooding back to me.
Have you Ever...
Have you ever heard a phrase or saw something that has reminded you of someone or a place that you were at years in your past and it has brought memories flooding back into your mind, memories that you had even forgotten about, yet must have been there deep in your subconscious1? This happened to me recently and it was so strong that it overcame my whole being and left me standing in a crowded shopping centre, totally isolated from everything round about me like a large stone in a river. I was totally oblivious to everything, as the memory came back in such detail that I even remembered more about that particular day or event than I even thought I knew.
It was brought on by the smell of fresh baking wafting from the bakers shop on the corner of the precinct as I walked round past it. I just stopped dead in my tracks and allowed the memory to take over. There I was, a scruffy little eleven year old, in the back area of the little baker's shop that used to be at the bottom of our street, where I used to go down to early every morning to buy the rolls for the lodgers breakfast - and ours, of course.
I used to get up early for my paper round in those days and had to go and get the rolls from the shop even before it opened. This meant going round the back and into the actual place where the ovens and all the other baking items were. I can still see the large mixer churning the dough for the next batch of bread and the smell would fill my nose as I watched bakers at work pulling the large trays full of loaves out with that long wooden paddle-like tool they used.
The old boy, as he was called by the rest of the bakers, would always be standing at the door having his smoke around the time I came every morning. I could smell him even before I saw him as that lovely smell of fresh-baked bread would waft from him as he stood at the back door. They were always good to me and would add few extra rolls in with our order. My parents bought a lot from them every day, as they had quite a lot of folk to feed, what with all the lodgers and ourselves. There is no way the hygiene standard of that shop would meet today's high standards, yet we never suffered any the worse for it and there was something original about it all with all its old equipment and surroundings. I always used to like being there, especially on cold winters mornings when they left the doors open to allow all the heat to escape along with all the white dust that used to settle on their clothes.
Mind you, it is not always smells that can trigger off these flashbacks as I call them, it can be a sudden thought that shot into your mind without any warning. For example, have you ever had that sudden memory of someone from your past that came straight into your mind for no reason? It can be someone who had a great influence over you, or someone you only knew vaguely. Either way, the thought is strong and can stop you dead in your tracks no matter what you are doing at the time. It can come at any time and the slightest thing can bring it on.
On one occasion it was a saying that I heard on television and, as soon as I heard it, my mind shot right back to the days when I used to hear my Dad saying it. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more details of that day came rushing back to me; so much, in fact, that I knew more about that particular than I did about yesterday. Before you know it, you find yourself standing in a crowd, floating away in your own little day dream, totally oblivious to everything around you, with a smile on your face. Of course, you don't have to be in a crowd at the time. I often have these flashbacks when I am sitting at home watching television, or sitting out in the garden. Whenever they do come, my wife tells me that I have not being paying attention to what she is telling me at that time and that I seemed to be away in another world.
Maybe they are the result of an over active imagination, like my Dad once told me, or maybe more people have them and never mention or want to talk about them. Yet whatever they are and whatever causes them, they are always welcome to enter my memory, as most of them bring back nice, cosy thoughts. Some of them, on the other hand, are not as welcome as they bring back bad memories and they are the ones that I thought I had forgotten about altogether. These ones do not leave you with a smile on your face - rather the opposite in fact - they leave you with a cold shiver and the feeling of anger.
Like I said earlier, however, most of them are nice memories and are a pleasure to relive again. I am sure that most people have these flashbacks; I know my wife does as we often talk about them after we have experienced them. I suppose that is a good thing, really, as being able to talk about such experiences brings us closer together. In fact, I think that it is an important fact in a relationship, as far too often I see problems in our offspring's relationships as they tell us that their partners never talk them any more.
So maybe, if they did talk about such things, they would find that they have more in common than they thought.
