h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Certainly...but how did you know...?

*E looks the man in the eye, then shyly looks away again...*

*The man blushes at this, and then, after a pause which was exactly one millisecond too long, answers:*

You should hide your cards better when you're playing... I was able to see them all the time!

*E smiles*

I'll remember that, next time, Mr...?

My name is Volk, Seriy Volk.

*It's just now that E notices the man's Russian accent.*

Shall we go now? We can talk in my offices...

Certainly, Mr. Volk...lead the way.

*E follows the man, watching him curiously...*

*Volk leads up the stairway and enters into a richly decorated room at the end of a dark corridor. He offers E a seat, then tells the waiter who had folowed them to bring him a vodka martini, stirred not shaken.*

*The waiter looks at E.*

Vodka & orange, please...

*E makes a mental note of "stirred, not shaken"...so he wasn't quite as daring as Bond...*

*E accepts a seat, turning to face Mr Volk*

Well, Mademoiselle, I heard that you have been talking to Mr Bluebottle. What do you think of him?

Oh, one moment please.

*The sound that interrupted him was his laptop, notifying him that he had new mail. Although E can't see the screen, E is aware of furious typing, which is concluded by a loud smacking sound, as of the Return key being hit rather hard.*

I'm sorry I interrupted you, please do go on!

*E suddenly remembered Bluebottles furious typing at _his_ laptop. Her voice almost faltered*

How do you know Mr Bluebottle?

I think he has some very valid points, but that is no reason to do what he is planning to do...

*E tries to move in her chair so that she can see the laptop's screen...*

*Noticing this, Volk quickly turns on a screensaver, and tries to look intrigued by the ceiling, which is a little difficult, with its being plain white and dirty and stuff...*

V: Er... How I know Mr Bluebottle? Urmm... Let's say, it's my job to know people.

*takes a sip at his vodka-martini, stirred not shaken, in order to gain some time.*

V: You see, we think his plans are very dangerous... Oh... You do know about his plans, don't you?

*E found Volk intriguing. One moment he was all dashing charm and wolfish smile, the next he was staring at the ceiling....trying to avoid a question he didn't want her to hear the answer to...*

His plans, Mr Volk? Why would *I* know Bluebottles plans? *E laughs as innocently as it was possible for her to laugh*

*A thought occured to E*

Do you know Valentino? After all, this *is* his casino...you must do, why else would you be here...

*E relaxes slightly at the thought, taking a sip of her previously untouched drink. It was previously untouched because she had the horrible feeling that it might have been spiked, but now, thinking that Volk was a friend of Valentino's she relaxed a bit...*

V: Valentino? Oh, he's no longer here... This is now my establishment...

*noticing E's astonished look*

V: Seems that the KGB have found out something about him... I'm not sure, they accuse him of giving top secret information to the MI6, which I personally don't believe... They've got him in prison somewhere, though I can't tell where exactly...

*The "You've got mail"-sound is heard from the laptop again.*

V: Excuse me again... Just a second...

*He checks the mail, curses and claps his hands. The midget enters the room. Volk starts to talk very fastly in Russian:*

V: Nu, Iwan, ja zhe tebe goworil ne dopuskat' SINJUJU BUTYLKU w set' kogda u menja gosti! Proch, i shtob eto ne powtorjalos'.

*Although it's a long time since E's Russian lessons at school, she gets the 2 words "Sinjuju Butylku". They mean "The Blue Bottle".*

*The midget leaves.*

V: Excuse my outburst. I keep getting spam mail.

*Nevertheless, he spends another 2 minutes typing, before he returns his gaze at E."

V: A lovely dress you have.

Why, thank you.

*E blushes and looks shyly away...*

If you keep getting spam mail, why do you reply to it?

And why were *you* inparticular chosen to take over the casino...?

*E sips at her drink some more...*

*Volk shifts uncomfortably on his chair, feeling the conversation slipping out of his control... This girl was cleverer than he had thought...*

V: Er.... I didn't reply to it, I adjusted the mail filter so I won't get it anymore...

*He hopes that this explanation is enough.*

V: As for the casino, the KGB wanted someone on whose loyalty they could rely... This is why they chose me...

*3 seconds tick by in deadly silence... Volk realizes what he has just said and tries to think up a way to fix things...*

*He bursts out laughing, which sounds a little strange*

V: Of course not THE KGB, we just call it that way because it's a funny pun... What I meant is the "Kasinovskie Gosudarstwennie Banki", the "Casino State Banks".

*Volk makes a mental note never again to talk to beautiful women while having a mission...*

V: Nice dress you have. Oh, I've said that already, haven't I?

*E eyes Volk over the rim of her glass as she takes another drink...strange...a vodka & orange had never done this to her before...*

You *have* said that before, but it was very nice of you to say it again...

*E decides that it would be in her best interests not to question Volks...other...replies...*

*She has another sip of her drink...*

*Volk congratulates himself for his success in calming E's suspicions. He begins to look out for the effects of her drink, and is satisfied to notice that she seems a little tired.*

V: So tell me about yourself, Mademoiselle Eomando.

*He slaps his head, of course only in thought, for showing that he knew her name.... If he continued to make as many errors, the KGB was certain to liquidate him after a while... Luckily, he thought, she hardly notices anything already...*

*Alarm bells rang in E's head, unfortunately she was too tired to take any notice... Instead she was delighted that Volk knew her name...*

There is very little to tell...

*E was having trouble focusing her eyes...she reasoned that the drink had been stronger than she was used to...*

*Volk noticed that it was virtually impossible to have a conversation with E now, so he called Iwan, the midget, into the room again.*

V: Возьми и унеси ее в машину... Поедем в тайное место...
(Sub-titles: Take her and bring her to the car... We're going to my secret place)

*The midget, who turns out to be very strong indeed, takes E on his shoulders and disappears. Volk takes one last sip at his drink, and then leaves, too.*

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