h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

so what does that have to do with genetics?

it doesn't - it's a play on words

(northern humour)

as in!

you can tell a joke in Castleford and they won't laugh at it in Leeds

why ?

they can't hear it

Castleford is Northern?
I thought Helsinki was northern.

Or Kotsebue, Alaska was Northern.

Or Reykjavik Iceland was northern

then again I thought toilet tissue was Northern
http://www.quiltednorthern.com/products.html

Murmansk anyone?

I will see your murmansk and add Svalbard

Double down - Santa's Magic castle - all the windows have a southern exposure!

You know what Santa said when telling a joke to a new crop of Reindeer?
This will sleigh you.

So where does Santa go for Vacation?

Where does Santa Claus go on vacation?
Okla-ho-ho-ho-ma.

Here is some jokes about the famed Loch Ness Monster.

What is twenty metres long, ugly, and sings 'Scotland The Brave'?
The Loch Ness Songster.
What followed the Loch Ness Monster?
A whopping big tail.
What did the Loch Ness Monster say to his friend?
Long time no sea.
What do you get if you cross a fashion designer with a sea monster?
The Loch Dress Monster.
What is large, yellow, lives in Scotland and has never been seen?
The Loch Ness Canary.
Which is the unluckiest monster in the world?
The Luck Less Monster.
What do you get if you cross the Loch Ness Monster with a shark?
Loch Jaws.
How do you communicate with the Loch Ness Monster at 20,000 fathoms?
Drop him a line.

father's Day jokes anyone?

Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say:

10. "I'm lost"
9. "Take my car".
8. "Fine I'll take you shopping"
7. "That credit card is yours to go crazy"
6. "You might like to throw a party when we are gone".
5. "Take the test in the next season"
4." Never mind your negative scores on your studies as long as you are good behind the wheels"
3."You don't have to work when you grow up"
2. "We don't require any more discussion on this topic"
1. "Father's Day? what's that?!"

Knock knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework please Dad - I'm stuck!

what did the Dad do when asked to give his son a hand?






he applauded.

What did the necktie say to the father



Mind if I hang around??

Q. When asked to put the cat out at night, what was Dad's response?
A. "I did not know it was on fire!"

Q. The waiter asks your dad how he would you like his steak, what is his response?
A. On a plate, please.

Q. You ask your Dad what is on the TV, what is his answer?
A. Dust.

When your father tells you to draw him a beer, you should NOT look for a pencil and piece of paper!