h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Battle Of Thermopylae - A1154837
Author: Asmodai dark - U239698

Hope you enjoy. Feedback is most welcome.

My one single itty bitty tiny piece of feedback (and a bump back to the top for you...) is this.

First line: The battle for thermoplyae took place during the second persian invasion of greece.

When exactly was the second Persian invasion of Greece datewise?

i knew you'd be the first one to critsise. go away

Fine, but I bet the next scout, ace or volunteer who comes along will point it out too...

A good read, one or two little points;

"to invade greece and to do which his father could not do in the first invasion. "

I think you might want a "that" between do and which, or better still tell us what his father couldn't do and what happened in a sentance or two.

Then if thats wot the next person says ill change it

It certainly would be nice to add it

And it's not constructive to ask people to go away in Peer Review. Let's all be nice. Here- have a toilet brush

With some work, this could make for a fine entry, but, as has been stated, you need to fill the reader in on the background.

When was this, who was Xerxes' father, maybe a short introduction to the Greco-Persian rivalry, more details on the consequences of the battle on the rest of the war, and on Sparta's position in the Greek world, etc.

Another thing you may want to consider is the sources. The objectivity of the "historians", etc.

Keep up the good work


cheers,
~Bistro

First, I'm excited that someone is writing an entry on Thermopylae - it's a great topic. Second, I have to address some accuracy concerns:

You say that the Greeks, from the beginning, were just delaying so that the Athenians could build their navy. I read that actually they were delaying so that the full body of the Spartan army could arrive to face the Persians, and also that they were determined to have the full fight occur at Thermopylae.

Also, you say that the persians were led up the mountains, around the pass, and snuck past the greeks who were guarding the mountains. What I've read is that the greeks who were guarding the mountains neglected to post a watch, and the Persians came up at night and surprised them. In the confusion, the greeks fled, allowing the Persians to move through the mountains unhindered.

The point is that the mountains were easily defensible, and if the greeks had been prepared, the Persians weren't going to get through the pass or the mountains, at least not before the Spartan reinforcements arrived.

Another point you may want to add - I think some 10,000 persians died, whereas 300 greeks died. Xerxes asked his advisors if all the greeks would fight like the 300, and they said yes. So Xerxes declared the war won, and went home for the winter.

I'll get my references and give more feedback tomorrow.

Intersting topic. I don't know much about ancient history (Greek, Persian or something more local to home), but there's a few things I've picked up on from a grammatical point of view:

Line 1: "Xerxes, king of persian, had gathered an army..."
Should this be Persia?

Line 9: "They were ready to lay down there lives to give the atheanians time to build there navy to full strength and then cut off the persian force from there supply lines, effectively starving the army."
Replace all those "there"s with "their"

Line 18: "As the Medes broke ranks to chase down the spartans, the greeks rallied and feircely stood there ground to the Medes, beating them and forcing a retreat."
Their again.

Line 21: "Confident of victory, Xerxes order there full attack and too late realised his error."
Same again.

Line 35: "However, like any soldier surrounded and about to die they fought all the more feircely. The Spartans themselves set up position on a hill, facing outwards with enemies all round them."
Should the full stop after fiercely be a comma? Also fiercely is spelt wrong.

Line 38: "When he fell, a group of spartans fought there way out of the defensive circle and to his body, retreiving it, and then returning to there defensive position."
The two "there"s should be "their"s again, retrieving is spelt wrong and to me "returning to their defensive position" just doesn't scan right. Using returned instead seems to fit better.

Line 45: "The Spartans were wiped out, but there bravery, strength and tactical brilliance gained the greeks an extra week to prepare for the persian invasion"
Their again.

Dotted thoughout you have lots of Greeks, Athenians, Persians, Spartans, and lots of other groups of people who should begin with capitals.

I also think that the second Persian invasion of Greece could do with a date


I think I'll go off and do a bit of background reading to see if there's any content suggestions I can come up with

Croz (Scout)

Thank you for your imput.

The Spartans were only fighting a delaying action. There was much debate and arguing on how to tactle the Persian force, and Leonidas was allowed to lead a small force to delay Xerxes. Also, the pass could be defended by a relatively small numerber of troops, as the lay of the land forced an opponent to use fewer troops. Therefore, sending the entire Spartan army (which in total was around 10,000 strong) would have been pointless due to the fact that in the pass, few troops could fight.

The Greeks did post a watch, the fact is that there were several paths up the mountain and the Greeks weren't guarding that particuallar root (as i have stated in my article)

The Greeks were slightly prepared, having a few days to reorganise the defenses, plus the four days given to them by Xerxes to surrender.

The idea that a man such as Xerxes would just take his army home after winning a battle (althought i do agree it was at a heavy price) is slightly laughable. Xerxes wanted vengance. There was a second battle and i have not yet looked into that or further battles.

Thank you again for your imput. I will be with drawing my guide entry soon as i am aware now of the gramatical errors. This being only my first real guide entry, and my linguistic abilities can be appauling at times.

Thank you for your gramatical corrections.
I will change them soon. Gramar has never been my strong point. Also as regrads to new information dont post it here as i plan to unsubscribe soon while i work on the peice.

One peice of conjecture:
"returning to their defensive position" just doesn't scan right.

Please read my peice, do not scan it. It wastes my time and your own. No offence intended of course but i prefer my wording to your difficulty to scan.

Thank you for your imput.
If i wanted to i could provide a nearly inexhaustable supply of background. The foundations of Sparta and of Greece, the state rivalries between Athens and Sparta, the rise of the Persian empire, the specific names of weapons that the Spartans used etc etc.
But whats the point? I did this guide merely to spark interest on the events of a historic battle, easily more heroic than Rouke's drift. I may use this guide entry as a beginners guide to Thermoplyae, and then to a complete guide on the battle.

Thank you for your imput.
If i wanted to i could provide a nearly inexhaustable supply of background. The foundations of Sparta and of Greece, the state rivalries between Athens and Sparta, the rise of the Persian empire, the specific names of weapons that the Spartans used etc etc.
But whats the point? I did this guide merely to spark interest on the events of a historic battle, easily more heroic than Rouke's drift. I may use this guide entry as a beginners guide to Thermoplyae, and then to a complete guide on the battle.

Thank you for your imput.
If i wanted to i could provide a nearly inexhaustable supply of background. The foundations of Sparta and of Greece, the state rivalries between Athens and Sparta, the rise of the Persian empire, the specific names of weapons that the Spartans used etc etc.
But whats the point? I did this guide merely to spark interest on the events of a historic battle, easily more heroic than Rouke's drift. I may use this guide entry as a beginners guide to Thermoplyae, and then to a complete guide on the battle.

oooops sorry it wouldn't post!

The user Psycorp insults and generally critises me in all aspects on hootoo. He has even placed a parody of me in his journal entry and pulled it as soon as he realised i had complained about him flamming.
The go away part wasn't directed at anybody on peer reveiw, only him.

Many years ago I became interested in Thermopylae when I read a semi-factual account of the battle in the pass and was greatly taken by the author's line ( that he attributed to Leonidas as a message to the other Greeks ) notably ,* Tell them in Sparta we died game *
I also remember the * hair combing * legend (?) akin to Drake and his pre-Armada game of bowls , but with a less happy outcome
Nice too , to see the recognition of the two other city states involved . And of course the traitor's city state was reviled for his betraya!
Perhaps there could be mention of the fighting *underforce *--
the Spartan's body -servants , who were very much part of the battle.

There were small contigents from several states, hence the reason why the Thebians and Thespians stayed with the Spartans, while the rest of the greek force fled.
I have heard many rumours about what the Spartans did before battle, but what this seems to indicate is that the Spartans carried on as normal, doing things that they would do everyday (comb there hair for instance, clean there weapons and armour as i heard).
Thanks for your imput.