h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

< I'm waiting for something I can follow! >

"Is suggest you talk now, Miss Anna Watteversanova", said Sreka sharply.

"I suggest you talk now, Miss Anna Watteversanova", said Sreka sharply.

< Erm... Anna isn't there is she? >

"I suggest you talk now, Miss Anna Watteversanova", snapped Von Trapp.

< Hah hah ha! >

I was gonna write something about the janitor weeks ago. but my computer still isn't fixed (damn Dell and their pathetic custoemr service! *spit* *spit*) In between that and uni work, I simply haven't been around all that much.

Trust me guys when I say I want to pick this back up as soon as I can - until then I'm a bit hamstrung for some free time.

Clive.

Well I'd pick this up if I knew what I was touching!

Poke it - if it squeals we can eliminate vegetables and rocks.

...............................

okay weekend is here - I'll go back re-read and try and start this back up again.

I'll try and find where this last ended....

The President got up and then suddenly went back down on his knees and bowed his head.

"Father Sfretelanimousopocatepetl, what brings you here?", said the premier respectfully.

"There is no need for your respect now, sir.", replied Sfret "I'm no longer a monk I have been removed from my order."

X and Arthur had moved back surprised at the sudden coming together of former associates.

"It is best if I don't discuss it here. There is much trouble ahead."

X, slightly frustrated being a spy that had no idea of what was going on interrupted. "Do you two know each other?", said X, stating the obvious.

"Yes", replied the President. "Father Sfretelanimousopocatepetl, was a spiritual concillor to me and close advisor for years, but I was lead to believe that he had retired and gone in to private meditation and prayer."

"I'm sorry to interrup your little get together, but we must leave now before they start using our heads for target practise", angrily interjected Arthur. "Have you a secret passage out of this office?"

"Yes, this way". The premier tilted the vase, where a Bookcase swivelled around just enough for them to get out of. The group walked in, with the Bookcase turning back around moments later, when a heavy hail of bullets hit the spot which they had been standing moments earlier.

"So where does this exactly take us?", enquired Arthur, wiping off some cobwebs from his shoulder.

"Its an old bunker from the Second World War. There should be a path some where down here that'll take us in to the village." The Swiss Premier informed them.

"Good." began X. "There were some sights I didn't quite manage to see last time I was there", he finished sarcastically. X could immediately feel the disappointed stare on the back of his neck from Arthur.

However, while Arthur did disagree with X's tone, Arthur himself was a little unsure about returning to the village when he still had to find the woman, Anna, who had been kidnapped.

"Hmll kffng hmmfplk fu bd bu wknr!!!!!" complained Anna through the gag.

"Put her in the boot Sreka" commanded Von Trapp, pulling the collar up on his coat and pointing to the open trunk of the Lada.

"I'll drive" said Daltmooreby, swining the keys round his index finger.

"Good" said Von trapp sidling into the passenger seat.

Sreka cut of another round of muffled expletives with a descisive thud of the boot.

Von Trapp leaned back to urge the big russain to hurry it up.
"Due to those meddlesome agents we are already significantly delayed."

Vandeveer occupied the back seat in silent contemplation but had to shuffle over when the over-sized Sreka attempted to clamber in next to him.

"Heh - pretty funny that hit squad going into finish of those agents." closing the door with some difficulty.

"Oh they won't have killed them." said Daltmooreby matter-of-factly, finally succeeding in getting the engine to splutter into asthmatic life.

Von Trap arched an eyebrow and gave an ill-tempered squint with a friscon of resigned frustration. quite a feat of facial gymnastics which was either vaguely threatening or oddly humerous depending on your angle.

"Not if I know Arthur Robinson." Daltmooreby concluded applying pressure to the acelerator and initiating locomotion, which had more to do with gravity, inertia and geography than anything else.

"Yes well let's focus on the task at hand shall we?" said Von Trapp , sharply. "By tomorrow evening the Turqoise Moon shall be ours!"

"That's good boss - but whats the woman for?"

Vandeveer looked up from resting his chin on his fist - in a furious rendtion of Rodans 'the Thinker'
"Isn't it obvious?" he excalimed.

Von Trapp had finished giving direction to Daltmooreby -
"Do you need us to run through the plan to beat the bank security and get into the vaults one last time Sreka?"

The agents suddenly reached a section of tunnel that was incrediably dark.

Well it was all dark but this bit was especially dark. The Swiss President motion to the others to stay still while he went on ahead. A moments later there was a thud some mild cursing. Then a clank another thud and then somewhere off in the distance the sound of a generator coming on-line. A dim emergeny light that was bolted to ceiling flickered and glowed it's way into life highlighting the rusty and faded sign "Ascend ladder to survive."

A slightly smaller sign beneath it said in even more faded lettering in case of nuclear armageddon: count to 788,923,150 - and give it a go."

The Premier managed a proud smile and gestured to the agents to start climbing.

Sfret looked worried.

"What is is?" quizzed Arthur.

"It's my knees - arthuritus - one of you shall have to carry me."

Arthur and X snapped to stare at the other."

"Toss you for it." Said Arthur.
"You're on" said X.

Easily missed assassin, Slepp Tonnajob, pushed open the doors to Swiss International Bank [translated] and walked across the floor creating an echo to a staffed cubicle.
He smiled a shrewd smile and slammed the large metallic box in front of the cashier. She smiled back. A not-in-the-mood-for-your-krapp smile.
"Yes?"
"Hallo, I'd like this package to be put away securely in a /very/ safe place..." Requested Slepp, patting the container. "It is very expensive and any damage would... disturb it..."

---------

X and Arthur hurled Sfret, on their right and left shoulders respectively, up the rungs.
"How is it possible?" asked X. "I mean seriously? The odds? How?"
"Stop moaning." said Arthur.
"It landed on its SIDE!"
"One in three, I imagine. Just push."

Slepp, on Vandeveer's instructions, had travelled on ahead while Von Trapp and Sreka had dealt with the agents.

Sleep's own interior monologue kept him company as he followed the dainty young thing down several flights of stairs and layered security measures to the safety deposit room.

"198 steps, 199, 200, turn left, mounted security camera 15 second sweep, 2 guards, lightly armed two steps from the alarm trip."

The bank clerk led Sfret to a door that reminded Sfret of his old prison cell - though the bars here were very clean and looked very solid. The woman indicated towards the length of the battery of compact box shelves - the sort with a pleasant red colour with two key slots.

We're placing your lot towards the back. The bank has been in operation since 1890 - we have many prestigious holdings, we are a renowned financial institution Mr Tonnajob.

"Fascinating." grinned Sfret.

"And here we are lot 299,768."

With a glance over his shoulder Sfret quick as a humming bird crossed with a kleptomaniac magpie with a prelidiction for office stationary, slapped a "post-it note across the young woman’s eyes temporarily blinding her and finished her off with an ink stamp to the forehead "file & close". The young lady collapsed into a neat heap that Sfret tucked away out of sight from the grilled door. He knew the guards had seen them both on the way in. He couldn't stay down here forever. The others had better be on time.


--------------------------------------

"Sreka get back in the car!" yelled Von Trapp.

"I couldn't hold it in any longer." came the desperate whine from beyond the grass verge.

The Lada had its emergency lights flashing as it had pulled over into the lay-by while Andrei relieved himself in the bushes.

"We're only 20 more miles to the bank. We'll get there in plenty of time." said Von Trapp trying to gee up some confidence.

Sreka piled back into the rear seat that made the whole car judder due to his bulk of muscle.

"With the monks aid we should have no trouble retrieving the Turquoise Moon" smirked Von Trapp.

"I still say we need longer" smouldered Vandeveer - "walking in the front door and asking nicely won't do."

"Who says were going in the front door?" said Von Trapp with a maniac smirk.

"Oh no." said Daltmooreby glancing in the wing mirror.

"What?" said Vandeveer.

"Shut up fool!" hissed Von Trapp?

"What? What is it?" said Vandeveer craning to look in the rear view mirror

"It's the traffic police." gulped Von Trapp. "Quick - everyone! Look...normal!"


--------------------------

bImb noimb bu flcunmb mklgfdp subdum men Ifeg moufumndeer!!!


--------------------------


"What do you mean" Arthur said, savouring the flavour of the word in his mouth, "locked?"

< Sfret?? Slepp, surely? >