Meet Mr Inquisitor

4 Conversations

Hello again, everyone, and welcome to another edition of the interview feature that isn't afraid to insult your intelligence. As readers of my non-Inquisitorial doings will be aware, I am nothing if not easily star-struck, and my definition of what constitutes a celebrity is surpassingly broad. So you can imagine my excitement when I heard that Jodan was willing to take part in this edition! Pausing only to put on a fresh vest, I piled straight in with my first question...

Jodan, I've followed your topless modelling career for many years with some interest, and I was truly outraged on your behalf when Dwight Yorke started messing you about. What kind of an effect do you think that has had on you as a person?

Topless modelling? Err... ummm... me? Certainly not! I'm a perfectly topped model.

I'm suddenly horribly suspicious that I may be under a misapprehension here. Is there anything you'd like to plug while I just pop off and flog the inquisitorial servitors?

(Too many porn stars have my surname and now, apparently my first name...)

Well I'm glad you asked! The only real thing I do around here is help manage the UnderGuide. I work alongside GTBacchus and the UG Miners. We are (and more importantly, I am) working very hard right now to bring
the creative entries that fall outside of the Writing Guidelines to the front page.

Right now, we're bringing the gems of the AWW to the surface to mine and polish (we can take a metaphor a long way, eh?) and we're enjoying every minute of it. Look forward to the best UG entries appearing on the front page soon-ish.

Also, if I may plug two things, it's worth joining in on the h2g2 Circus which I've been having a great deal of fun with lately. I'm a trapeze artist!!

Well, speaking of creative gems, I was reading this brilliant thing the other day about this guy's experiences trying to make a student film, it was hilarious yet tinged with pathos and I would highly recommend it to anyone. Ahem. Whose idea was the UnderGuide originally?

That's a difficult question. Unlike the Post, the UG has an origin from about half a dozen people. It all started from a thread called 'Why is the AWW Still Such a Dead-End' which was started by Spaceman Spiff. In that conversation, people spoke about a new alternative guide and created some great ideas that are now being used.

So Spiff led to the creation of the UG. If you want my opinion on a 'founder' of the UG though, I don't know. But I always consider it Ben for really doing a lot of work and keeping it going (she'll kill me for saying that).

Do you consider it to be one of h2g2's social activities, or having more in common with the community's function as originators of the 'official' Guide? From your description it seems more like one of the latter.

It's really not a social activity, though it's been terribly fun to work on so far.

It's modelled after the Edited Guide (with a few changes and tweaks). Just like with the Edited Guide, the UnderGuide relies on the community to write entries, comment on entries, volunteer to polish and pick the entries.

Personally, I expect a much larger participation from the community side of h2g2 than from the folks that deal with the Edited Guide, so it may very well turn into a social activity. We don't take ourselves seriously enough to keep the UG from becoming social.

What's your opinion of the letter R?

I hate it. There's something about how when I was younger and I couldn't say 'R'. I would lock myself in my room, and all you could hear was 'Wight... wight... wight' And of course, I have the letter 'R' in my real name, Jordan, so it fits that I call myself Jodan.

So since I hate the letter R, you'll often see me refer to a friend of mine as Andu. (This confused Vercingetorix yesterday, so it's worth pointing out).

Oh, I wouldn't say that - it's doesn't take much, after all... I understand you've recently learned what a Dalek is. How would you say that this has enriched your existence?

That's never going to stop is it? Oh well...

So far, learning what a Dalek is has let me understand one joke that I wouldn't have before. But an American can understand a lot of poor British jokes by reading an article on Doctor Who.

As for enriching my existence... eh. Not really.

Well, I find that hard to believe. We will move on in a moment, readers, but - 'an American can understand a lot of poor British jokes by reading an article on Doctor Who' - would you care to explain that in a little more detail...?

Well, you would be surprised by how many Doctor Who jokes are made by the British. Americans obviously (and perhaps other nationalities) don't understand them, unless they saw the TV Movie, which is unlikely.

(All right, don't rub it in - the viewing figures weren't that bad...)

A lot of these sort of jokes are made that Americans might not understand - for instance, you opened the interview with one.

Thanks for reminding us all of that. One of the very few downsides to believing that Doctor Who is one of the key cultural artifacts of 20th century western civilisation, is that you develop a slight tendency to obsess about it. So apologies both to you and any readers still left for that lapse in focus just then.

In her international hit single of the same name, Latina popstrel Nelly Furtado sang 'I'm like a bird, I only fly away'. If you were to compare yourself to an animal through song, which one would it be and why? Bonus points for verse and a chorus.

(As an aside, I saw a picture of a Dalek and they aren't that impressive.)

Well, this may not surprise many. A black sheep. Here's my verse and chorus:

I'm like a blacksheep, I have a small brain
I sit in a pasture going BAAH all day long
A better life I can't attain
And with that I end this horrible song

Let's face it, I'm not very good at that. I'm a busy man!

(Well, there are things, like knife-throwing and ventriloquism, that really benefit from the moving image, and then there are things, like Kelly Brook and geology, that don't. Daleks fall into the former category.)

Glancing down your list of Edited entries, you do seem quite fond of situation comedies. Any particular reason for this?

Everyone on h2g2 has to bring what they know to the Edited Guide. I happen to know a great deal about a few sitcoms. Plus they're easy to research.

Do you have a favourite?

Of course. My favorite sitcom has to be Seinfeld. It's probably the funniest sitcom the US has ever come up with. It's inventive, silly, it's witty, it's just plain brilliant! Every episode makes me laugh. I was heartbroken when the show ended!

I also happen to know just about everything about the show. Uncoincidentally, it was one of my first entries. It was my first entry to be recommended as well. I'm exceptionally proud of it and it got me my first editor's pick and a blob.

Cheers is a close second though...

I'm tempted to ask if you're Master Of Your Domain, but we'd probably get yikesed. What do you think it says about the difference between US and UK tastes that shows like Seinfeld and The West Wing - which I know you also really rate - are mainstream hits in America but in Britain end up showing in a graveyard slot, to what's
definitely only a cult following?

It says that the UK has horrible taste! I'm not surprised that Seinfeld and West Wing aren't hits in the UK. I wouldn't expect a British person to 'get' a lot of the jokes (And The West Wing is actually a lot funnier than a great many sitcoms, even though it's a drama. Especially this season) because they only make sense to the US. Seinfeld especially does a lot of parody of US
stuff and The West Wing depends on some knowledge of the US system of government.

(Well, seeing as my mum can understand it, probably not that much. She's been distraught ever since Simon Donovan was shot.)

But I suppose I could say the same for the opposite. UK shows like Doctor Who and Blackadder aren't popular here. In fact, the only time I can see Blackadder is on public access at Midnight. Apparently comedies from the UK are educational here. Once
again, I'm afraid I would get yikesed if I told a joke about being Master Of Your Domain and sex education in the UK...

Sex education at my school basically boiled down to 'We'd rather you didn't'. Oh well. You're clearly a busy man, Jodan, so I'll just close by asking what I always ask at this juncture: what's the most important thing you've learned from being a part of h2g2?

h2g2 has taught me that I'm not as smart as I thought I was. Don't get me wrong, I'm brilliant, but so many people around the world are brilliant and there are tons of things I didn't know. I'm constantly amazed by the vastness of knowledge in it. This doesn't just apply to the Edited Guide. The Post makes me feel stupid with great articles that I could never hope to match.

I know it's a fairly shallow observation...

Matches most of the rest of our conversation, then! So, there you have it, Jodan: someone who likes his sitcoms, who's not afraid of pointlessly obscure in-jokes, who's yet to fully appreciate the bowel-loosening scariness of the Daleks, and who hasn't had breast enhancement surgery. So far, at least.

Thanks again to Jodan for taking time out of his busy schedule to answer my rather silly questions. If you would like to run the Inquisitorial gauntlet yourself, please apply via Shazz the Editor's email, or if there's anyone you'd like to see quizzed, feel free to nominate them at the bottom of the page. I've been Mr Inquisitor, and until next time,


Meet Mr Inquisitor


14.08.03 Front Page

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