h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A magnum of to Number Six, who finishes in style by scoring a whole point. Second place goes to Odo (not bad for someone who knows nowt about football)

Egon slipped right down the table in this final week, much like Everton. Psycorp preserved his dignity by just staying ahead of Andy G. Brasilian top-scored in a somewhat up and down week - his defence scored -9, but his midfield and forwards scored 24!

It's been a good season, and I'm quite happy to kick the whole process off again soon for 2004-05. Keep subscribed to this page for a sign-up sheet, and you guys will get first refusal on a place in next year's league (strictly limited to 15 teams).

Meanwhile, some statistics...

The Ten Best Players

Thierry Henry - Number Six - 116 points
Robert Pires - Friddle - 78
Alan Shearer - UH - 75
Jens Lehmann - Otto - 70
Ruud van Nistelrooy - Friddle - 69
Nicolas Anelka - Steve - 65
Carlo Cudicini - Odo - 62
Frank Lampard - Alfredo - 58
Steed Malbranque - Desk - 54
Wayne Bridge - Egon - 53

The Ten Worst Players

Dean Richard - UH - -6
Igor Biscan - Friddle - -4
Mark Fish - Alfredo - -1
Gavin McCann - Psycorp - = -1
Kenny Cunningham - Alfredo - 0
Matt Heath - Desk - 0
Jun-ichi Inamoto - Odo - 0
Aliou Cisse - Psycorp - 0
Tony Hibbert - Desk - 1
Danny Mills - Psycorp - 1

Psycorp has three of the worst ten players. 'Nuff said.

The Ten Best Value Players

Paolo Di Canio - Friddle
Claus Jensen - Number Six
Jamie Carragher - UH
Carlo Cudicini - Odo
Louis Saha - Alfredo
Michael Svensson - Friddle
Youri Djorkaeff - Number Six
Mark Schwarzer - Number Six
Frank Quedrue - Steve
Edwin van der Sar - Andy G

The Ten Worst Value Players

Danny Mills - Psycorp (a good reflection of real-life, I think)
Nolberto Solano - Number Six
Tony Hibbert - Desk
Bruno Cheyrou - Steve
Ole Gunnar Solksjaer - Odo
Joseph Yobo - Brasilian
Stephane Dalmat - Andy G
Juan Sebastian Veron - Egon
Jonathan Woodgate - Brasilian
Alan Stubbs - UH

..with a lot more Everton defenders close behind

Best Defence:

1) Odo - 193 points
2) Egon - 179
3) Otto - 151

Best Midfield:

1) Friddle - 148 points
2) GreyDesk - 136
3) Otto - 112

Best Strikeforce:

1) Number Six - 151 points
2) Steve - 115
3) Uncle Heavy - 111

Perhaps the most amazing statistic is that Henry scored more Phantasy Phootball points on his own than any other team's two strikers put together.

B

Congratulations, Number Six!

And a huge thank you to Master B for running this - it's been fun!

Otto
(who feels let down by his strike force...)

The fact that they spent most of the season injured didn't help.

Playing again next year?

B

Absolutely

Thanks everyone for the kind words... I'd also like to thank the Chuckle Brothers for inspiration, M. Arsene Wenger for his encouragement during our brief conversation in January that led me to believe I knew something about this game, but most of all a Mr. Terence Henry of North London - I just spent an exorbitantly large sum of money on him and he went out and scored all the points...

Well that's that then.

I'll have to keep that pin handy for picking a team for next year.

Tough luck Egon.

finishing fourth? not bad. except for the fact that i was the leader for ages. best strikeforce? ahahahahahaha.

Third isn't a bad position to finish

Especially as I didn't get my head around the transfer concept until about January

And that's only because I made you, if I remember.

Never mind, you've got Alfredo's Euro 2004 special (if it appears) to practise for next season.

B

Yes it was a combination of shaky subscription to the appropriate pages and not RTFM as to how the whole thing worked

Never mind, I'll be fully informed and ready to do a load more tinkering next season - which no doubt will cause me to dive down the table

"it was a combination of shaky subscription to the appropriate pages"

And then you have a go at Number Six. Disgraceful.

B

Yeah!

Well that's tea sorted out. Cheers

Hang on, I'll just get my Fred Perry on...

And, assuming that's given you a black eye, may I suggest some and cream for dessert?

The Euro 2004 special will be appearing within the next couple of days...watch this space for the link and I will leave a message in the personal space of those who are taking part.